told my parents
 

hey i told my parents last night through a letter about my COE...oh my god it was the hardest thing ever....anyways i gave it to my mum late at night and let her read it...i woke up in the morning and left the house before she woke up and i had school and have worked till 5:30 i just got home and my parents havent mentioned it to me yet! i was kinda thinking they would sit me down to talk as soon as they saw me...i rekon they wont be as concerned because BED doesnt sound as bad as bullimia or anorexia....

hey so basically as soon as i got off the computer my dad came up to me and was like i read your letter..and i just started to cry....dad was really good he understood that it was pshycological and not about dieting...mum just kept suggesting i eat potatoes and bread to fill me up...shes a nurse you think shed know better lol....so then after that i gave them my laxatives and they made me throw them out ...it was like a cleansing thing i think and dad told me hed book me in for a medical appointment next week!

Hi!

Congratulations to your brave step!:carrot: :D :hug: I know that it takes a lot of courage to admit an ED to the parents- or it was just that complicated in my case :(

Your dad reacted well in my opinion.
I really would suggest to give them some things to read about the BED and/ or ED in general.

Maybe they need a bit time to figure it out- and to admit that their daughters is seriously ill and they had no idea.

But it´s so good to read that your Dad seems to "got the point"!! As my parents found out about it, they weren´t so nice...I guess they never understood that it´s NOT ABOUT DIETING!! My Dad told me, that I was just to lazy, dumb and whatever to stick to a diet and exercise regime, that´s why I chosed that ED stuff as excuse. He never understood that it is AN ILLNESS, not a lack of willpower.

Being through relative bad expiriences, I would suggest talking to your mother once again...My mother always thinks that giving diet tips would be helpful to me...So from "Oh, WE are doing a diet together now!" to food advices, to "OH NO, we are not buying THAT! WE don´t eat that anymore!" and lengthy discussions in the supermarket.
That was not good for me.

But you have to be aware of the fact that your family could monitor your eating habits in the next time. Maybe there are going to be very cautious, asking you all the time if you had a binge etc. Could be stressful, but you shoud remember that they just do it because they are worried about you and they love you!

But admitting the problem to the people close to you is such a huge step on the road to recovery!! You can be very proud!
The same with throwing away your laxatives! Very good!

Kate

thanks so much....mum has been reading on the net and she gets now that its about emotions.....dad just gave me a kiss goodnight which he hasnt done for years, i guess he knows i really need love right now......well they watched what i ate tonight....and guess what tonight i binged...not sure why maybe to prove that i have a problem...but its ok...i know i will get the help i need thanks so much for your support

Spike_lover, I can't tell you how glad I am for you. :hug: That's just the best.

It does sound as though your Dad is really supportive. :) It's not unusual to have one parent who "gets it" more than the other. (actually, it's not unusual to have NEITHER provide support, as some of us here can attest to) You're very fortunate to have such an understanding Dad... he sounds wonderful.

I'm with Kate... I would have a talk with your Mom about it. And if she still doesn't fully appreciate the gravity of the situation, sit down with your Dad and talk about that, too. It's important that he knows you need him, and that you appreciate his help. Communication is everything.

Oh! I just read your latest post, Spike. Your mom is checking it out... wonderful! :hat:
I am so impressed that you've reached out for help. Keep the lines of communication open, and don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You are one strong girl! :grouphug:

thanks so much guys....yeh the parentals are being so good...and so is my sis...shes 20...we dont really get on too well but shes been great and she doesnt really know whats going on i dont think....but yeh...things can only go up right...im just glad i niped this in the bud before i turn 18...thanks guys ill let ya know how everything is going

I'm so proud of you, spike_lover. I haven't told my parents yet. You are a stronger woman than I. I'm so glad your dad is taking such good care of you and I'm glad your Mom is beginning to get it.

Kate: You poor dear! I'm so sorry your parents were like that!

first step is admitting you have a problem... good for you .. good luck

thanks everyone.....this morning mum and i had a laugh..it was about me making the oats overflow in the mcrowave....finny as ****....they wanted me to try porridge to see if it fills me up more....tasted gross lol..but ill do it for them...anythings better than what ive been doing to myself lately..

Spike_lover, it's great that you're able to introduce laughter into this! I just know you're going to succeed. :hug:

I think that you have wonderful and supporting parents Spike! I know that they may not necessarily understand eating disorders as such because I cant understand why alcoholics drink for example. So it swings both ways but I do think that parents can be more understanding than we give credit for. Im still finding that out at 34 lol. When I mentioned it to my mum about my eating disorder we didn't really go into too much of a deep discussion because I find it hard to talk to her about any problems I may be facing, but thats just me. So your braver than I am. I also think that most people only really know about anorexia and bulimia they may not realise that other disorders are out there. Good Luck on your new life :)

its so true....BED is so un known to everyone but im sure in the next few years it will be talked about just as much...do u want me to tell you something strange i feel like bingeing more now that they know..before i would have restricted after a binge now i just wanna eat all the time caus ei know next week im seeing a doc and that i will get the help i need...its almost as if this week is my 'last supper' if that makes any sense.

spike_lover_002002: Microwaves can be very tricky...The same as the ofen (for me)...I am learning to cook healthy meals at the moment. You wouldn´t believe how many things can go wrong doing that!!
Maybe it´s an opportunity to get connected with your sister again!
I "only" have an older brother. He wasn´t helpful at all. To tell the truth: he used my new found trust in him to cheat...He told a lot of thing to my parents, even though I told him not to...and he wasn´t supportive AT ALL. Anyway...

ellis: Unfortunately I doubt that my mother would really understand my problems. There is always that "But I haven´t done something wrong!!" barriere...
And unfortunately I can´t talk with my father anymore. He did 7 months after I told him about my ED, the alcohol and the pills. I was in rehab center as he died. The last words we talked in this world were unfriendly. Very unfriendly (I had to say mostly from his side, but I would have reacted differently if I had known that I am going to see him the last time).

Kate

Me again...posting at the same time!

spike_lover: Well, I am the Queen of "last supper' movement. I had my last supper Sunday nights before starting a new diet and on various occasions. I had a last supper before going to detox (I am a recovering alcoholic)- it nearly killed me....
Maybe it would help you if you wouldn´t think like "I am loosing my food, my comfort while in treatment" and think more like "I am going to gain freedom, sanity"- something like that.
A problem for me is that "All or nothing- thing": I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO EAT THAT AGAIN WHEN I AM IN RECOVERY. I try not to think about it that way. First of all: Do I really want that food so bad? Or do I want something else? And it´s never "NEVER"- it´s just today, this hour, this minute. You decide, not to binge this hour or today- not to binge never again in your whole life. It´s too much pressure otherwise. And it´s soooo much time.....
Anyway, couldn´t really express what I want to say at the moment- **** final exam in 24h, I am nervous like ****!!

Mamita: Hey, you are lucky in the english speaking countries: BED is much more known there.
I had to explain my ED to a lot of doctors in the last years. Fortunately some of the are quite interested.
My Gyn said to me "You don´t have an ED. People with EDs are skinny, and you are overweight. That´s why you don´t have an ED". Ok, forget the fact that I spend nearly 6 months in rehab (for other things, but for my ED as well)- insurance paid, after the diagnosis: BED.

^^oh my god as if your Gyn said that....someone obviously doesnt know much about disorders...but its tru though hey! people only think you have a problem if you are thin...IM SORRY BUT I HAVE JUST AS MUCH AS A PROBLEM WITH FOOD THAN AN ANOREXIC DOES....we just think differently.....im so sorry to hear about what happened with your father, makes you really appreciate life and want to live it to the fullest and say what you feel.....yeh me and my sis have been so close today...really good....ummm well tomorrow is a new day, a new day of different thinking....i know what you mean about all or none...its like if you binge a little you may as well binge alot cause youve already stuffed it......speak to yas soon