Too sensitive in weight-issues??
 

OK, I have to admit that this topic isn´t really important, but I wanted to tell it, so here I go:
I had a law class on Monday, topic: Anti discrimination laws. The Prof told us about the topic of a german Airline who is just hiring stewards (female) with a certain weight. And suddenly there was a discussion: it´s not a discrimination because obese people can´t move, you could expect from a passenger to get served by an obese steward, obese people are ugly, handicapped....
I was the only overweight person in the whole room. I was so ashamed, I tried to crawl into the floor....I know that I had to be stronger and take an active part in the discussion, but I was so ashamed....****!

Interesting fact: the females in the room (except me are all really thin) weren´t so harsh. The man behaved awful. The all said "Obese women are disgusting".

The Prof said: "Truth to be told, obese people look bad. Don´t want to offend anyone in this room here". A girl sitting one row in front of me said "Why, there aren´t any overweight people here". She looked back, saw me and said "Upps.".
I really felt pretty good then....

I am angry at myself that I didn´t had the guts to stand up and say something. But I was so ashamed.....When it comes to weight discussion, I tend to be paralyzed.....

Just wanted to get that out of my system. Thanks for reading!

Kate

Kate, that is just horrible! :( I'm so sorry that happened to you, sweetie. My gosh, what kind of people are you going to school with!? And what the HECK is wrong with that professor!?
I can just imagine how embarrassed you felt. I would have been the same... paralyzed, and unable to do anything about it.
I can only tell you that with time, you'll become more confident about standing up for yourself. For me, it came with age, and with "not giving a damn" what others thought of me.
At this stage in my life, I probably would stand up in class and give those people a scathing lecture. And then I would report the professor's conduct to the dean (or whoever).
Don't let this drag you down, sweetie. It's one experience in your whole great life. Learn a little about yourself from it, and move on. You can use that experience in the future, and you can choose to act differently next time. But only if you wish. It's all about you.
love and big hugs, Kate... :hug:

HUH?! I'm sorry but 166 lbs is hardely overweight...Are all students in your class anorexic or something?!

Plus, talk about insensitivity and shallowness! personally, i'd have probably walked out of that class.

They Must Be Nuts!
 

Wait! Let me get this straight. You were in a class that was discussing anti-discrimination? Well, what do they think they were doing? DUH!!! THEY WERE DISCRIMINATING!! I swear some people are so shallow minded. And the girl that looked and you and said Upps.... well, by the time I got finished with her, her ears would have been char-flamed and fallen off her head and SHE would have been the one to crawl under the floor!! :flame:

I have a theory that I live by. Works for me most days - notice I said MOST day :lol: It's okay for people to not like me because I don't like everybody. Just a fact of life. BUT to the ones that don't, well, they can get in line with the others that also don't to kiss my hiney! :D

Life goes on and if you don't stick up for yourself, who will?! But don't let them get you down. You've come too far to let a bunch of narrow minded idiots hold you back. And yes, I would report that moron professor to the dean.

I wouldn't at all think someone that weighs 164 is obese. I can understand how upset you must have been. I am very sensitive too when it comes to weight. Although , I would have wanted to stand up for myself, I would probably have just sat there and not said a word. As for the girl that said , Upps, I would have wanted to smack her.

:hug: Kate

Anything that affects YOU is important because we are all here to care for and share with each other :grouphug:!
I hate to hear that you had to tolerate such inexcusable behavior! You do NOT deserve that, NOBODY does! Are you in college with adults or in grade school with 5 year olds!?!?! Part of me HATES them (and I don't hate anybody!) for their evil behavior and how it hurt you! But an even bigger part of me pities them for their shallow, sad view of people and their ability to be so hurtful.

I don't blame you for not being able to assert yourself in that situation. It was ONE person against a pack of wolves (the nicest name I can describe those "people" with) It is totally ironic that you were discriminiated against in an anti-discrimination class---unbelievable. It just proves that educating the mind does not always educate the heart.

Ok, so there are things you can do now after that awful episode. You could go to the dean and complain in person (VERY hard to do) or even write a letter. You could go to the professor pig :ink: and complain in person or in a letter. I don't know what kind of results you'd get from that or if it is something you'd want to consider. Even if you don't actually send the letter, it may be helpful to write out your feelings--as if you are writing to the offensive people.

You are NOT obese! You are a wonderful, intelligent articulate person and WE here :grouphug: adore you and look forward to your witty postings! Those "people" are far too STUPID to recognize and appreciate you ---their loss.

Originally Posted by Kate109:
The Prof said: "Truth to be told, obese people look bad. Don´t want to offend anyone in this room here".
Kate

An appropriate response to this, imo, is: "truth be told, ignorant people SOUND BAD! Opps, didn't mean to offend EVERYONE in this room here!"

Okay...I am in shock over those comments. I mean my jaw dropped to the floor when I read this.

Please don't think everyone feels this way. I know for a fact that they don't.

As far as weight for stewardesses...I think we have that here on many U.S. airlines, too. At least we used to, because I remember reading about it. There also used to be height restrictions--you had to be UNDER a certain height. As you're describing, I think it was based on being able to move about the cabin. But if ANYBODY had come out and said it was because "overweight people don't look good," there would have been a mutiny on their hands! I mean that is just not right. And just not true! Please, I know so many classy, beautiful, overweight people. That just stinks, Kate...I'm sorry your class spoke that way about the issue.

Originally Posted by purplepansy912:
He also tells her that she is overweight and has a "stomach".

Your friend's husband sounds like a real jerk. Can you imagine the stress she must feel? Trying to satisfy an idiot all the time. Tell me this .... what does HE look like?

I was just passing through. . .
The girl who said upps? #1 your not obese at 165 and 5'4 I bet you look great and like a woman not like some boy-like stick bimbo
I want to smack her for you and every other non stick woman
Purple I'm sure your friends husband doesn't see whatever his imperfections are (for example an Ugly soul?) hopefully she wises up to the fact that she's not fat but that her husband is an idiot!

BTW Mel your baby is due on my birthday. . .that totally made my day!
:)
Kierie

here's another situation.....

A few years ago some girlfriends and I....from highschool got together for a girls weekend out. We went to a beautiful spa retreat in Quebec and although it was very pricey.....we pampered ourselves with different spa treatments. I was a little heavier than I am now and much heavier than the other 3 girls anyways......we had to get changed into our white terry cloth spa robes, and mine didn't fit. So here I am in the changeroom, crying because my robe doesn't tie up. My bestfriend comes to the room and try's to speak with the attendant and can't communicate because her french isn't good. So I get re-dressed and go out to the desk and in my better french (?) tell them I need a new robe. Well.....you think I was asking for the world!!! oh non madame!!!....this was a 4 star resort and being only 1 hour to the Ontario border....YOU MEAN TO TELL ME NO ONE SPEAKS FRIGGIN' ENGLISH?? They tried to have me wear 2 robes??? Just how do you do that? I tried to ask for the manager, she wasn't working.....anyways, I didn't want to hold up our treatments so I partially wrapped a towel as a skirt and wore the robe. I was FURIOUS!!! and oh? you expect a tip? I was soooo furious and embarrassed!!!! I later wrote to the manager after I got home and received a "how can you expect us to provide larger robes when you didn't inform us when you made your reservation" from the Manager. WHAT??? Needless to say I wasn't impressed!!!

OMG! I want to give :hug: to everybody here who has suffered through discrimination! I know we've all been there at one point but boy! Some people can be SO rude!

I can feel for you, purplepansy912, as I know how you feel. I have a friend that is about the same height and size as your friend. And her hubby tells her the same thing! Infact she may be a bit lighter. But my friend has 5 biological children! I think she um looks pretty good and especially for having 5 children! I can't beleive he tells her she is fat! :o I can only imagine what he thinks of me!!!!!!!!!! Not that I even care!

But its unbeleivable! I can't beleive how ignorant some people are!

Big :grouphug: for everybody!

*Flady*

I am sickened by the gross injustice you suffered. I personally have never had an experience like it but I'm sure that is due to my sharp tongue and short temper. People can be unbelievably stupid and insensitive. Don't ever let it get you down. Ganging up on one person is weak and lame. Who are they to comment as to what is a physical inadaquacy? I'm sure plenty of them have their share in YOUR opinion! Buncha narrow minded nit witts if you ask me.

My friend's husband is tall, very thin, is not attractive and is balding!! HUH

Thanks for your support and encouragement!
Yeah, I really had to stand up...and do something..But now it´s too late. And I am always paralyzed when it comes to weight discussions.

But I was *impressed* about the amount of self esteem the boys in our class showed. Ok, most girls in law school here look like as the just jumped out of an Ralph Lauren commercial. Tall, blond, thin, expensive clothes. Most boys wear expensive clothes as well, but they don´t have the pressure with being thin and looking beautiful. The cover that with snobism and arrogance. Anyway...The boys in the class, some of them a bit overweight, a bit bald etc., all judged overweight WOMEN.

purplepansy912: That story sounds so familiar to me! I had some expiriences with such men. And I had a fat- hating woman as a boss for a few months as I was part time working in an office. She tried hard to make life more difficult for me- and to tell me really often that I maybe should diet.
I am not sure if that is just here in Europe, but I met a lot of people who really hate overweight people.
I somehow always manage to get that people as my doctors....Me: "Oh, can you help me, I am coughing?" Answer doc: "It´s because you are overweight. Loose 50 pounds and come back"



Kate

Omg
 

Originally Posted by purplepansy912:
My friend's husband is tall, very thin, is not attractive and is balding!! HUH

Oh he sounds like a real winner! Jerk.

Why do people act like being overweight is some dreaded disease that you can catch?! Afraid that we might rub off on them? :mad: That just goes to show how shallow minded they are. Why can't they accept a person based on their personality?! My best friend in junior high/high school was extremely discriminated against. Not because she was overweight, but simply due to the fact that she was handicapped. She MIGHT have weighed 75 pounds, was 4'6", had scoliosis (curveage of the spine) and was missing about 3 ribs so she walked very crooked. All I can say is ... they missed out on having a fantastic friend! :)

Thankyou Linda for your kind words. You know the girls weekend away was over 7 years ago, and at times it feels like it was yesterday when I think of it. I can't say that I tell everyone about it, but here....I find it a very safe and nonjudgemental place. I'm sorry you had a bad experience also, you are so right.....who are they to say those things!!! I guess rude people are just plain RUDE!!! no excuse.:mad: BTW.....I just love Vancouver Island. Dh took me there for a bday surprize a few years ago and I just fell in love with it. The drive through the surrounding mountains was fantastic!!!

Thank you! :)

I just don't get it, the way people treat others. :dunno:

The only way I would do esthetic's again, is if I were working for myself..running my own business, and could gear my business toward the type of people that I want to help.

And about the Island....thanks so much. I've never lived anywhere else except for a few months in the interior of BC. While I was there I physically CRAVED the ocean. I think there's something about being surrounded by it. The ocean is in my blood and apparently I can't live without it..:lol:

I'd never want to live anywhere but here...I love it.

:hug:
Linda