Insight from an OA meeting
 

:?: Recently I went to my first OA meeting. I had an interesting discussion with the meeting "leader" who is both a recovering alcoholic and recovering compulsive overeater.

She has been "abstinent" from alcohol and from compulsive overeating for 7 years. Her insight and knowledge helped me so I wanted to pass along the info.

I made the comment that it seemed easier to just quit alcohol because you can go "cold turkey". You can't exactly go "cold turkey" on food ---you must eat to live.

She said, "yes, and you must also drink to live".

My eyes probably got bigger and my mouth opened.....huh????:shrug:

She patiently explained to me that you must drink liquids to survive---it is a matter of choosing which liquids you drink.

You can choose water, juice, tea, colas, etc or you can choose alcoholic beverages. Some people can choose alcohol and stop after 1 beer.
Some people can NOT stop after 1 beer. These people are alcoholics.

Compulsive overeaters have to choose what they eat as well. They can choose foods which provide nutrition for their bodies or they can choose foods that "trigger" binges, compulsive overeating.

Many people can eat just one chocolate chip cookie and feel satisfied. I can eat an entire bag and then start looking for other "snacks".

Hmmmmm.......this really seems to make sense to me. Maybe that is why the Atkins diet, without sugar, really seemed to keep my appetite in control???

Does this mean a life without chocolate chip cookies ever?!??!? :yikes:
I don't know the answer to that....yet. But I do know that I am in the process of learning my "trigger" foods and how I respond to them.

Does anyone have any insights, information, advice or personal reactions to trigger foods?

Hi

I also am a recovered alcoholic but unfortunately I am not recovered from my food compulsion yet. But one thing I have learned is to not look at anything "for the rest of my life". When I was in treatment for my alcohol addiction I made a comment to my counselor: "What? You mean I can't drink alcohol for the "REST OF MY LIFE????!!!" What he said to me made perfect sense and I have remembered it ever since.

He told me that I could not drink "just for today". I should take it "one day at a time" (24 hours) and that I should think of it as not drinking just "today"! All together I have not drank "today" and those todays have turned into over 14 years of total abstinence from alcohol and all drugs.

I try to look at my food the same way. I can make certain choices today that I cannot possibly do when I look at it as a lifetime! And then tomorrow I get up and start today over and ask God to help me not eat compulsively just today. I am hoping that one day all of my "just todays" for my compulsive eating disorder will turn into lots of todays !

What seemed impossible (a lifetime) now seems very possible. I can do anything for 24 hours surely! When I first quit drinking and using drugs, on many days I had to say, I will not drink for the next 30 minutes and it was 30 minutes at a time instead of 24 hours. That made it a lot easier for me. I finally graduated from 30 minutes to 24 hours at a time.

Unfortunately, I am not always good at following my own advise. I find my compulsive food disorder much harder than the alcohol was. As long as I don't put alcohol or drugs in my body, then my body cannot crave those things. But like you said, we have to eat. Sometimes I wish I could just "not eat" but I know that I cannot do that. One day at a time seems to be the only way I can do many things in my life. But like someone told me, if it works, do it. If it doesn't find something that does.

Good luck on your weight loss adventure. I have lost 22 pounds so far and feel better already. But I had a setback last weekend. I found myself eating like there was no tomorrow!!! But I am just going to pick up and move right along. I will not give up this time. I have done this so many times, lost some and then went back to my compulsive eating. I probably have lost 1,000 pounds in all! :( But I plan to take it "one day at a time" and "one pound at a time".

I have found good support here. I love what Dr. Phil says, "Together we can do this" and I believe that together we CAN do this. Hang in there.

You're right...that is interesting. Although it doesn't hold true for every addiction. Yes, if you're an alcoholic you will still have to put liquids in your mouth every single day. But what if you're an ex-smoker? You won't have to still breathe some sort of fumes through a tube every day. What if a Valium addict? You're not forced to still put some form of pill in your mouth every day. So I'm just not sure it's entirely the same thing.

I've heard "abstinence" mentioned from OA meetings and I still don't entirely understand it. You're not abstaining from food, obviously...but from what, just bingeing? That's not really abstinence...what separates a meal from a binge is partly a matter of control or lack thereof; partly a matter of what to one person seems like a lot of food even if to another person it doesn't; etc. So these are the reasons I haven't been to OA meetings. I just don't totally understand the philosophy.

Can I ask, how do you define abstinence? Do you feel like OA is helping you? How is your group...are they nice? I would love to hear more.

Oh, also...did you have to get up in front of the group & talk right away? Or were you able to attend a few meetings first to get comfortable?

Sorry for the pop quiz! :lol:

Wow...
 

That spoke to me. I needed to hear that, because I've been saying the same thing myself. "You HAVE to eat..."

Thanks for sharing. You've got my wheels turning. :)

Hello everyone. I just found this site very recently. I have been reading for a week and have found it very encouraging. I have been overweight/obese my whole life. When I turned 30 two years ago, for the first time I was having health problems as a result of my obesity. That started putting real pressure on me to lose weight. It was then, when I was realy trying to change habits to save my life (I am now afraid that I will have a heart attack at any moment), that I realised how bad my problem was.

Earlier this year I started going to O.A. meetings. I was very involved for 6 months. The first couple months I mostly sat in the back, didn't talk, and listened. Most times no one bothered me, a few times people would chat with me. Then I started chatting with people after the meetings. Then ended up with a sponser. I lost 25 pounds, and for me loosing weight was a huge acomplishment. In a lifetime of 'dieting' I have never lost more that 10 pounds at a time.

I have lost touch with my sponser. Life has gotten busy and I'm not going to meetings, reading, journaling, or making food plans. I have gone back to my comfortable old habits and I have gained back 6 pounds.

As far as what I learned in O.A. Betty said it very well. It's all about one day at a time. Having a plan to follow every day. In my area there are 10 different weekly meetings. You can go as often as you like. Meetings are different, they have topics. Some are speaker meetings where a person who has been sucessfull will speak for 20/25 minutes and share their story. This is a good way to start at O.A. You can sit and listen. Sometimes you dont realy relate to what they say. Sometimes it sounds like they have lived my life.

As far as abstinence, I think everyone has there own abstinence. Some people abstain from purging. Some abstain from sugar and flour. Some abstain from eating anything not on their food plan for the day. Some people are very strict with their abstinence. Some are more flexable.

Personaly, I abstained from sugar and flour. I did, for the first time in my life, have something that made it possible to to not eat sugar everyday. For me, O.A. was the first and only time I felt like I had control over my compulsive eating. I want to go back, to start going to a couple meetings. It's so hard. It's hard to give up my food.

Thanks again for all the great threads.:)

Chris~