Nice Things
 

This Sunday my DH is throwing me a birthday party and I am FREAKING out! When he first told me about this party I swear I was curling up into a ball in retaliation. The thought of it makes me want to jump out of my skin. He has threatened to get a clown that makes balloon animals if I don't relax. I feel so bad when people do nice things for me or say nice things to me. It's a charater defect that I am working on...I just don't know which one it would be (possibly people pleasing...I don't know). So my plan (as suggested by my psycholigist) is if I start to feel agitated, I'm taking $5 and going to the mall to get something for myself (yet another difficult thing for me to do). Does anyone have any advise for me or possible have something similar to share?
Thanks

i was just thinking of blogging on this today. at work someone changed some appointments so we could meet at my convenience instead of me sucking it up and staying late one day. Hard for me to receive, esp because i get to telecommute some, and that's why it would be a suck up.

Steph, what I've had to learn to do over the years is to act like I'm someone else. I know that sounds bizarre, but I've really become quite the actress. I don't LIKE being someone I'm not, but I've realized that when I do it, it prevents me from appearing like some sort of embarrassed freak. :lol:
BTW, I SO do not mean that you're this way. ;)

I used to be painfully shy, and couldn't stand up in public (or even speak in front of more than one person at a party) without stammering and turning red. And feeling sick to my stomach.
I've learned that "gritting my teeth and faking it" is far less stressful than, as I said, appearing as a freak who people would feel sorry for.
I'm now actually able to stand up in court on a regular basis (volunteer organization I work for) and speak in front of judges/prosecutors/etc with barely a flinch.
In fact, it took me an entire year to convince my psychiatrist that I'm a complete introvert. He thought I was an outgoing extrovert! I even fooled HIM! :lol3:

So, my advice is, FAKE IT!! Pretend you're one of those people who can readily and graciously accept praise, gifts, etc. The more you do it, the easier it will become.
You can do this, sweetie! :grouphug:

Thank you for the advise Ellis. I can relate to what you are saying. When I get up to speak in any sort of public forum or where there is more than 3 people I freak out. My ears turn bring red (because ALL the blood from my entire body rushes to them) and burn hot, and my face turns pale white and then slowly the color returns only to my cheeks.
I like the idea of almost wearing a mask and acting as if I am the type of person who can accept nice things being done for me or said to me.
Thanks!

Steph, a belated Happy Birthday to you!! :balloons: :hb: :gift:
How was your day? Did you manage to "fake it"? Did you survive? :grouphug:

Yes, all went well Ellis. Just put on a big smile and tried to enjoy the day and not clean (big deversion for me..stressed=clean, angry=clean, and so on).