Last night I was writing my fourth step inventory (OA stuff) and I realized something. I get alot of my sense of identity from external sources: my husband, my daughter, my friends, my job....

see, a big problem I've been aware of since joining OA is that I like being in control. I didn't think so because I don't knowingly do controlling behaviors, don't tell others how to live their lives, or so I thought. But when people don't behave like I would or like I want them to, I feel angry. Why? (examples: I felt angry when I found out someone I know is having an extramarital affair, felt angry that my mom doesn't give me the affirmation and acceptance I crave) My anger isn't really helpful here, because I can't change their behavior.

What I realized is, since I'm taking my identity from them, it puts a high burden on them to be what I want them to be.

I'm so grateful for this understanding I got. wahoo!!!!

Gee, that sounds like me

So how do you change that way of thinking ?

first of all, I Love the prayer in your siggy. Where did it come from?

second, beats the heck out of me I asked my sponsor that question and she said "work the steps". I asked someone else I know in program, and she said "work the steps." So I guess that's it. Certainly recognizing it has to be the first step for me.

I can't remember where I got that prayer lol.

You know I realize alot of things about myself but if I don't know how to change them then whats the sense of trying to recognize them LOL

yeah, I think of it as one of the attitudes God will need to fix in me. now that I'm in OA I have more confidence that He will, and I see His showing it to me as the beginning of that healing. I wrote about it in my journal and titled it "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free". I don't expect myself to be able to fix myself, just to do my part of obeying/working OA. so far it's working in other issues, as my mind gets renewed it gets healed.

What kind of weight loss program are you doing? I thought it was OA from the prayer in your sig, but now I get the impression that's not it? So I'm thinking your approach is somewhat similar.

I believe it is possible sweetie.

Nope not on OA, wish I had the time to read up on it or join via internet. I'm just trying to follow a lower in calorie diet, healthy eating plan, lots of veggies, etc., and I'm just trying to figure out myself.

I also believe it is possible

Dear Friends, I so appreciate your posts. I am so blest to be able to learn from all of your ephipanies and experiences and encouragement, wanted to share the Miracle Prayer with you .

Dear Lord God, I come before you just as I am. I'm sorry for my sins please forgive me.In your name, I forgive all others for what they have done against me. I renounce satan, the evil spirits and all their works.I invite you into my life Lord Jesus, heal me change me strengthen in mind , body, soul and spirit. Cover me with your precious blood and fill me with you holy spirit. I love you Lord Jesus I praise you Lord Jesus I will follow you for the rest of my life Amen.