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rochemist 08-02-2004 12:17 PM

Weekly Thread: Aug 2-Aug 8 Party TIME!
Good Morning Girls! :coffee:

Today is the only day you have. What are you going to do with it? The sun is shining, God is merely a prayer away, food obsessions have melted into the background. What do we do with this precious day? Do we cherish our families and ourselves? Do we find compassion in the world around us? Do we love in spite of our pain?

My commitment this week is to attend meeting every day, work on my step work, and try to make loving choices in all areas of my life.

I am turning 32 this week. We should have a party all week long! :lol:

Waiting to have you all check in!
:grouphug: :love:

treasaigh 08-02-2004 02:45 PM

Hi Chris, I'm here. I went to volunteer at Church today, which is excellent for getting my focus off of my obsession. I've been asked to take over the nursery program, which will be fun, once I find my feet. I'm happy to be here.

mugirl2003 08-02-2004 04:05 PM

I am thankful for my air conditioner :) I am also thankful for my family, my doctor, therapist, and Seventh Heaven. I saw progress with my patients today and I felt that I had gave them hope. My committment is to leave work behind when I walk out of my office and enjoy the rest of my day, worry free.

ceejay52 08-02-2004 10:07 PM

Chris--watch your mail for this week--a little something coming your way in honor of your birthday. My niece will turn 14 on on the 6th, nephew will have one on the 12th and I will have yet another on the 27th. My niece is expecting her first baby due on the 26th.

I am thankful for a wonderful aunt and uncle who let's me come and spend the week end with them. Thankful that I have a job that I love (going on 12 years) and bosses who leave me alone except when I need them. And grateful that I only have 3 more day to finish out this 10 stretch. A podiatrist who understands the pain of heel spurs. Called and made an appointment today. It's on Friday the 13th. Two adorable siblings, that have given me 7 nephew's and nieces and one great nephew and another great nephew/niece on the way. Yes I love my family.

Tracy good for you for volunteering. I find that when I'm busy I don't obsess about food as much.

I'm going to a different websight to sign up for an internet course that is taught by the health department. Need some class room hours for the renewal of my water license.

May your day go well tomorrow.

elizabecca 08-03-2004 07:35 AM

I'm thankful for...
- my beautiful, smart, healthy daughters.
- summer vacation.
- new scrapbook goodies.
- air conditioning.
- good friends.
- my church family.
- my job -- which I'm actually looking forward to going back to!
- my salvation.
- my sisters.
- good books to read.

Chris -- So what day is the big one? You go party, girl! You'll have to tell us all about your celebration.

Everyone else -- Hi to all and I hope you are doing well!

I just got up so I don't have a lot to say yet. Yawn...I'll try to check in later!


treasaigh 08-03-2004 07:58 AM

Hey, Chris, I just turned 32 in June! Every year I keep saying it must be time to start acting like an adult. So far, hasn't happened. :devil: Do tell us when it is exactly!

rochemist 08-03-2004 08:31 AM

The big day is Thursday and my friends all want to know what I want to do. :p I have no idea, I have never had friends on my birthday before! BBL!

Love ya'll!

Sandi 08-03-2004 02:28 PM

Chris - That is my hubby's birthday as well. I hope you have a very special day.

Jennelle 08-04-2004 08:26 AM

I'm here, I'm here!!!

I've been doing okay, but my computer's power supply went tits-up last week. I just found out this morning that I could hook hubby's laptop to the computer connection and get on. HOwever, I have to leave for work in 10 minutes so I don't have much time. Suffice it to say that I miss you all and love you all and REALLY realize how much I value your support since it's not been readily available.

More later!

rochemist 08-04-2004 12:15 PM

Okay Jenelle knows I am not big on the whole "confessions" thing. I am a food addict and I do weird **** with food. It just is, and God's grace gives me a new minute to making loving choices for myself. As his daughter that is what He wants for me, to quit being so damned hard on myself, and find the compassion in me I have for others. So I am lurking today on the Maintainers forum today, and these are the ladies that have put together their own formulas for success in how ever their addictions have taken them. And I am thinking I know what my path is, I have just stuck my heels in the ground because of my own self loathing. I am truly Chris's worst critic.

Simply excercise, a food plan, and a meeting would do me worlds of good. Instead I eat a piece of fish today and my brain goes straight to guilt land. So here is my disease in the light of day. Who wants to help me shut it the **** up?

My friends want a birthday part. I want just a party. Who wants to go to the all male revue with me on Saturday? :lol: :devil:

Hoping for something more inspiring later. I love you gals.

MichelleRae 08-04-2004 01:56 PM

Chris you are such a beautiful woman!! I agree with you about being our own worst critic. The other day my hubby said something about "fat" people and I said "how do you think that makes me feel" and he simply replied that he doesn't even see me as being "fat" which was sweet of him to say...but I wonder if he was saying it so as not to hurt my feelings. I want to join the OA meetings here but they are on Fridays which is really hard day for me, I've tried getting in to the online OA chat at OA.com but I seem to get there when everyone is gone lol.

Stress has me doing one of two things these days, not eating hardly anything or binging like crazy. I had a heart to heart with myself and yesterday was a great OP day no binging and no starving went for a walk and went to bed satisfied. Today I haven't eaten yet but I plan on having a decent lunch and dinner so I'm sure I"ll be fine. We are getting ready to do some remodeling in my home and my inlaws are coming and my husband is having his vasectomy on the 13th and my daughters 3rd birthday are all this month!! I'm swamped!! I'm worried that I'm going to turn to food after hubby has his vasectomy because I'll know for sure that we won't be having any more children, which I would love to have another but medically for me it isn't safe, thus the vasectomy. Ugghhh here I go rambling again. Sorry guys bear with me lol.

I started my new thyroid meds and the phentermine and perhaps that has me feeling a bit better as well.

I talked to one of my ex boyfriends the other day, on the internet, for the first time in like 4 years....I told him about all the stuff I had been struggling with since then and he basically laughed and told me that I must have wanted pity, thats why I cut....Ugghhh I was floored and couldn't believe that some people are so ignorant as to the type of "demons" that some of us face daily. He even went so far as to tell me that when he hears people whining he tells them "oh why don't you go cut yourself" WHAT A JERK!! Seriously.....

Anyway I found myself wanting to purge last week but I didn't I'm proud that I hung in there if only by a thread.

Chris I do want to wish you a very happy birthday! I hope the company of friends and family will bring you all the happiness in the world!! :grouphug:

Jennelle did you get the RV? I may have missed that post gosh I hope I'm not confusing threads again ;) I'm such a scatterbrain lol. Hubby likes to joke that I need shock therapy LOL he of course means that in the most loving way possible.

Christy how are you doing? School starting soon?

CeeJay how bout you, are you keeping busy? Hope all is well

Have a wonderful day guys!

rochemist 08-04-2004 03:07 PM

Michelle- And there is a reason he is not your boyfriend anymore. All we can do is find compassion that he will have to live the rest of his life being so stupid. Bravo for not hurting yourself girl.

God just reminded me why you don't go workout for an hour after barely eating anything for two days. Wooooooooohooooooooo :dizzy: I handed my food to God and a friend, I think I am going to be okay.


treasaigh 08-04-2004 03:07 PM

Hi Ladies, I'm having a pretty good day - my eating hasn't been stellar, but my workout was fun this morning, and I got some stuff done for church, and DH and I are in make-up mode, so we're being sweeties.

I've been thinking about the using exercise to purge thing lately - and while I don't have the history of obsessing about each rep like some of you do (I use videos, so I don't have to count), I do tend to punish myself with a tough workout to make up for poor eating. I've felt so much better the past few weeks being consistent, but not overdoing it. Having light, moderate, and intense days taking into account how I feel. I hope I can keep this attitude. Keep the Famous Amos cookies away from me, and things might be okay.

Chris - I read an interesting article yesterday. The main point was, God loves us with all of our faults, not in spite of them. Our hearts may not be big enough to love ourselves that way, but we should try. You do so much to inspire others. No more guilt!!!

Michelle - I'm sorry you're having a stressful time. I hope you can get a little time to yourself - meditating, reading, whatever you like - to recharge.

Love the lovely ladies!

rochemist 08-04-2004 03:18 PM


Originally Posted by treasaigh
I've been thinking about the using exercise to purge thing lately - and while I don't have the history of obsessing about each rep like some of you do (I use videos, so I don't have to count), I do tend to punish myself with a tough workout to make up for poor eating. I've felt so much better the past few weeks being consistent, but not overdoing it. Having light, moderate, and intense days taking into account how I feel. I hope I can keep this attitude. Keep the Famous Amos cookies away from me, and things might be okay.

Chris - I read an interesting article yesterday. The main point was, God loves us with all of our faults, not in spite of them. Our hearts may not be big enough to love ourselves that way, but we should try. You do so much to inspire others. No more guilt!!!
Love the lovely ladies!

Tracy I will never forget first reading about excercise bulimia. I can't remember if it wasa magazine or a book, but they talked about the warning signs, and that no one would need to excercise that way unless they were going out for the Olympics. Pissed me off so much I threw it across the room. Whenever something makes me angry its probably true :mad: :p

Yeah I think thats why I like Alanis new song "Everything" Love me for all that I am, even the unpretty parts. ODAT Tracy. Its all we got.


mugirl2003 08-04-2004 04:30 PM

Michelle- I def. can relate to you, I am a cutter also. I started doing it about 2 months ago, when I was alone(like I always am) in my apartment. I was watching one of those bachelor shows, and I saw all those pretty, skinny women vying for this man. I thought to myself, wow, they must have it all, the looks, the figure, the money, probably a huge social network. It made me more depressed so I took a knife and slashed my arm from left to right until it was covered in blood. Then I had to face everyone at work, and they literally freaked when they saw these huge ten inch gashes on my arm.. I lied and said I was just "clumsy".. What makes it so funny is that I'm a therapist and I tell my patients how to deal with their addictions. Now, I have to live with these scars, which have been re-slashed a couple of more times b/c I felt i shouldn't have ate those pretzels or those carrots. My coworker made a sarcastic comment today and said"Vanessa, do you need help with your cutting?" She was joking about it, and only if she really knew that I do. I can't promise in the future I wont' do it again, but after joining this forum, I feel better that people are going through/went through the same exact thing. I'm going to take one day at a time, thank god that he saved me, and let destiny take it's course.
I hope everyone is doing good and being safe.

Jennelle 08-04-2004 06:30 PM

Chris - I am the SAME WAY when something I read or hear really pisses me off! I have to stop and figure out if I'm justifiably mad, or if I'm mad because it's true. Are you sure we weren't separated at birth? :lol:

The RV story in a nutshell: It was in way better shape than we expected! :cb: I actually didn't get to go pick it up. Our son was sick and we went ahead and left him home on Friday night. He was running a fever of about 100.5, but I figured he'd be okay. We drove to Conway, AR that night and slept at the Motel 6. Around 4 a.m., husband's cell phone rang and it was son, saying that his fever woke him up and he took his temp and it was 103.9. Hubby drove me to the halfway point between Conway and Memphis, and I had a friend meet me there and drive me the rest of the way home. Son is better today. He had a pretty severe virus that was going around. We ended up taking him to the clinic on Saturday and then the doctor on Monday. His temperature has been good for about 36 hours now, so I think he's over it.

Anyhow, RV is currently sitting in our driveway. Hubby bug-bombed it to get rid of the ticks. He needs to replace the plumbing, but that's about it mechanically. Of course, it needs a through cleaning! We also need to get a new matress for the bed and a new mattress for the futon. He seems to think we can have it completely finished by Labor Day weekend.

School starts tomorrow. The new language arts teacher across the hall ROCKS! We will get along famously. She's one of those types who doesn't care if "it didn't work last year." She'll try it again if it's a good idea. :)

And CeeJay...We drove out I-40, so we probably weren't in your neck of the woods. I know I=55 well though...we've got family in KC and go that way if the weather's bad in the Ozarks.

MichelleRae 08-04-2004 07:47 PM

Vanessa, I'm praying for you to find peace and not hurt yourself anymore. I actually help a girl who I work with who is a cutter as well and It really helps her to talk to someone who has been there before. I can't say for sure whether or not I'll ever do it again but for the last almost 3 years I've been good and I'm hoping to stay on the right track. I remember making the excuses that now I'm almost positive nobody believed. But please know that I am praying for you :) :grouphug:

Tracy I'm sure I'll get a good couple hours to myself tonight so I should be fine, I try and do some deep breathing exercises to calm me down and I also try and do creative visualization while I'm lying in bed at night helps to clear my mind.

Jennelle glad the RV is in pretty good condition it sounds like a fun project to restore it!

Ok I'm off to fix my kids some supper

MichelleRae 08-04-2004 07:50 PM

Oh Jennelle I was going to mention, on Sunday we had to take my 2 yo to the ER she had a fever the night before and it was 103 something, and then the next day (sunday) at about 5 pm we took her temp when we gave her her tylenol and it was up to 105.6!! The ER doc rushed us out cuz they had a multiple trauma victims from a car accident and said it was probably just a virus that was going on and to just keep an eye on her but man was I frightened, my pediatrician always tells me that anything over 104 is dangerous and we should watch for seizures. I hope you little one is feeling better :grouphug:


ceejay52 08-04-2004 09:24 PM

God's blessings on each of you.

Yipee I get 4 day's off starting tomorrow.

Tomorrow I will start anew. Will weigh in, measure for stats. Got a card from the diet center that I joined earlier this year but I'm not going back. I can do this with God's help and a little will power.

Janelle-I live in the town at the 48 mile marker from Memphis on I-55. Glad the RV is in good condition.

Tracy-- I used to punish myself by over exerising. I'm trying not to do that now.

Vanessa--Prayers are being sent in your behalf.

Chris--Hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow. I've misplaced your phone number. Could you email it to me again or if you still have my number give me a call.

Michelle--Once your doc has your thyroid med's regulated, you will feel like a new woman. Remember to take them daily. If I miss mine more than 2 day's I can feel a big difference.

Hi to everyone else.

rochemist 08-05-2004 01:07 AM

Out too late and laughed too much! will see you all in the morning! I love you guys! For my birthday would you mind saying 1 nice thing about me or tell a story? Please!


MichelleRae 08-05-2004 02:50 AM

Chris I have several nice things to say about you and this is even not knowing you as well as some of the ladies here :)

1. You are one of the most intelligent people I have had the pleasure of "typing" with ;) Your intelligence comes out in your writing.

2. You are VERY beautiful, inside and out, but we know which one matters most ;)

3. You are a very strong woman to be battling what you battle every day ( excuse my less than perfect typing as Its very late lol)

:grouphug: Happy birthday girly!!!

Oh by the way I got ya a little something ;) get some dollar bills out of your purse and scroll down...

keep going.........

Little more..................


ok ok I know that is just so wrong but I thought it was cute ;) Anyway all nonsense aside I hope you have a wonderful day!

rochemist 08-05-2004 07:10 AM

That was awesome!
Oh Michelle! I laughed and even cried a little bit. That was so great. I need a naked man for my birthday :devil: Oh your poor baby! How is she feeling? :angel:

CJ- Any plans for your days off? Sent you my number girlie. Don't forget to treat your sweet self the best! :grouphug:

Jenelle- So glad to hear the teacher across the hall rocks, the RV is cool, and the your son is okay. So what things have your thrown across the room? :smug:

Vanessa- I am more a picker (non-healer) than a cutter. I am just wondering if your under any kind of treatment because its that not feeling anything at all that goes with EDs that drived that behavior. You know ugly on the inside, ugly on the outside thing. If you get the urge, write, write, write, send it to me, send it to anyone, send it to God. Your beautiful and deserve to be loved inside and out. AND THAT GOES FOR YOU MICHELLE AND ALL OF YA'LL!!!!!! :grouphug:

Tracy- How is today going to be? :wave:

I love ya'll! :love:

elizabecca 08-05-2004 11:09 AM

Happy Birthday, Chris! *insert confetti, noisemakers, and streamers* (You already know that I'm techno-challenged or I'd find you a nakie dancing guy, too! LOL)

Another year older, another year wiser, and another year being the wonderful Chris that God created you to be.

Three nice things about Miss Chris...
1. You're a truth seeker and someone filled with hope for the future you were made for. Yes, you do it ODAT, but all those days will make up an incredible rest-of-your-life.
2. You're everyone's cheerleader, seeing the light in others and shining it for them when they aren't able to do it themselves.
3. You're fun and funny and you make other people better for knowing you.

I hope you have a beautiful day! It's a day off from work, I hope!

*nakie dancing guy exits AFTER cleaning up the confetti, noisemakers, and streamers...a true birthday wish come true*

Love ya,

elizabecca 08-05-2004 11:19 AM

Morning post, part II

Vanessa -- Welcome to our little group! You'll have that many more people praying for your well-being and recovery now!

Michelle -- Sorry your little one was so sick! That's always scary, isn't it? In the end I think their illnesses are tougher on Mommy than they are on them. We seem genetically predisposed to worry so much.

Jennelle -- I hope you're having a great first day at school! By the time our kids go back on the 24th, you'll be completely in the groove. I love teacher workdays and preparing for a new group of students, but the first 3-4 days of school itself are tiring. I don't know how it is with the older kids, but we seem to spend more time going over (and over!) rules and routines than actually teaching. It is amazing to see how far they progress each year. They come in as second grade babies really (and I mean that in a loving way, not at all an insult to them!) having trouble finishing even the shortest assignment and, by the end of the year, it's difficult to give them enough work to keep them busy. I'm beginning to get excited! You'll have to tell us all about your day. Congrats on the RV, too!

Tracey -- The article you read sounds really interesting. I'm glad you are in a good place right now with your church. That makes such a difference, doesn't it? I get a great deal of comfort from our church family and wouldn't want to be without it!

All of you have a great day! I'm off to work on some chores and entertain the kidlets.

Love to you all,

Mel 08-05-2004 12:18 PM


Just one nice thing?? OK, you have a great, silly, slightly smutty, and off the wall sense of humor!


ceejay52 08-05-2004 01:46 PM

Happy birthday to you
happy birthday to you
happy birrrrthday to chris
happy birthday to you

Chris you are a warm, affectionate person. And a highly intellegent person. I was a lucky person to get to meet you.

Now if I had known their would be naked men at your party today I'd been here sooner.

mugirl2003 08-05-2004 02:59 PM

Hey guys, I hope your thursdays went well and I must thank each of you for your prayers. It certainly has worked b/c the last 2 days have been stress free and very comfronting! I am in therapy for my ED, almost a year and it def. has helped me explore all the hidden triggers and culprits that I didn't know I had. But my therapist does not have any type of true knowledge about ED, they only have a social work degree, and no one around here has any type of experience on ED. But I thank god for them, I honestly do, I know my road wouldn't have been easy w/o them. When I do cut myself, I feel nothing at all, as far as pain or disgust. Your right Chris, I do feel "nothing" when I am in that condition. I turn to that instead of purging, the thought of puking freaks me out. But I"m here now, with friends I know I can turn to when life is upside down. :)
Chris I hope your have a wonderful birthday, you certainly deserve loving memories and positively in your life.
Peace and God Bless

rochemist 08-05-2004 03:15 PM

I love you gals! (Smutty sense of humor, little ol me? :rofl: )

Thank you for the birthday wishes!
Christy- How are you girl? I read about everyone else but you!
Vanessa- What can we say? Welcome home sweetie :D
CJ- I feel blessed to have met you.


treasaigh 08-05-2004 04:12 PM

Chris, honey, you are one of the most giving people I've ever met. I can only imagine what a blessing it would be to know you in real life. (Although this board is as real life as it can be, for sure.) Did you get to see some nekid men in 3-D last night? I hope you had fun!

What's new with me...let's see, Matt went to bed early last night, and then woke at 3:30 am, so that sucked. I've really been dragging today. But I'm doing fine. Got some turkey chili on the stove for supper, went mall walking with the kids, didn't buy anything (Fall clothes are so tempting, but it'd be two months before I could wear them anyway.)

Vanessa - hope you stick around. Even though we all have slightly different issues, we're all full of compassion for each other. You can lay it all out here. :grouphug:

rochemist 08-06-2004 08:10 AM

Tracy- No naked men Tracy unless you count my husband, and I will send you all the pictures later. JK! I wouldn't be that cruel. :rofl:

I think there is some kind of nasty virus going around, I felt drained yesterday and just kept falling asleep. I have so much to do today my baby is turning 13 :cry: Invitations to my party need to be completed, running to the store, balancing my checkbook :yikes: and

I just hope you gals know how much I love and appreciate you all. Here I find the love and support I need.

Jennelle 08-07-2004 10:16 AM

C H R I S !

How much do *I* suck?! I missed your birthday! :cry:

Here's my Chris story:

A few months ago, I posted a message that could have been taken as a "last call" before a suicide. About three minutes after I posted it, my phone rang. It was Chris. She talked to me for an hour and a half not just about ED, but about everything. Here's this woman I've never met, who lives 1000 miles from me...she just knew instinctively that I needed to hear a voice of someone who KNEW what it was like to have food rule your life. The phone call was really my turning point in all of this. She gave me some very astute insights and a big pile of wisdom. They're the tools I carry with me every day.

I love you, girlie! I hope 32 is as awesome for you as it was for me. (It's the year I started back to college.)

rochemist 08-07-2004 01:42 PM

You never suck Jenelle, God made you just as you are. This was so sweet, and so great for me to hear. And I want to put this out there, if you girls ever need me PM me. As soon as I can I will get back to you one way or another.

We all deserve to recover :D

KatSLP 08-08-2004 12:28 PM

Happy belated birthday, Chris!
Hi all,

I've gotten out of the habit of checking in here daily. Please beat me with a wet noodle.

Still in mourning for my MIL. We are living our lives but it comes in waves.

My program has lagged - have not broken my abstinence but my program has not been as strong as it should. Making baby steps to get it back to where it was before all of this. And that includes checking in with you all.

My place is a mess and I am having a surprise party for a friend tomrrow - so I got to get crackin'.

Jennelle 08-08-2004 05:47 PM

Kat, I seem to have missed to post about your MIL. I'm so sorry for your loss.

rochemist 08-08-2004 07:20 PM

Theres are Kat!
1 Attachment(s)
I am sorry things have been so crazy Kat! You check in as you can girl :grouphug:

Okay this should make ya'll laugh! Is my mouth big enough? Blowing out candles on my birthday cake.

Today just is! :wave: Jenelle!


ceejay52 08-08-2004 08:12 PM

Just a short note to say hi. Not much has happened.

Chris--You did make me smile but just the thought of you having a good time was reason enough.

Janelle--We love you just the way you are. Each of us has our own story about food. And it was a post on this board that I discovered what my story was.

mugirl2003 08-08-2004 08:47 PM

Hey guys,
Just dropping in to see how everyone is doing. My weekend went pretty well, I slept in and went to the park to do my walking. The weather is changing here and now the nights are getting chilly. Autumn is my favorite season! Though I had some pretty bad spouts with my depression, I didn't cut myself.:angel: Tuesday I see my psychiatrist and I think he's changing my meds to Prozac.
Chris-Totally cool cake! What kind was it? I hope all your wishes came true!:genie:

MichelleRae 08-09-2004 03:53 AM

Jennelle, the story you told about Chris made me cry! I loved it and I love you all!! I'm so glad I decided to come out of hiding :)

I feel really bad today, I purposely hardly ate anything today only 6 weight watchers points and then I got home from work tonight and I had 2 oatmeal cookies and I immediately felt guilty even though it wouldnt have hurt me so I purged, I'm so disappointed in myself. I wish my husband were home more if he were around I know I wouldnt have done it! Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that he isn't here for me, he had to work. I'm afraid that this is going to start a horrible chain reaction....Its been awhile since I purged but have had a few binge episodes and I was doing the exercise anorexia thing for abit as well doing 2 hours a day of exercise! It was crazy. I made myself stop but I hope this was just a slip up and I won't feel compelled to do it again.

Mugirl I'm glad you had a nice weekend Its starting to get chilly here at night too. I'm so happy you didn't cut! :grouphug: I know exactly how hard that can be. I'm so ashamed of my scars. I've never been on prozac but took paxil for 6 years and then zoloft after I had my last child only because I had post partum I was crying all the time lol. Now I don't take anything they think I'm good now and so do I. It took awhile and some "detox" but I feel good in that aspect :) I hope you will soon as well hugs to you my dear.

CeeJay How are things hun? Hope all is well.

Chris I LOVE that birthday picture you look beautiful!! Glowing!! I hope this is a great year for you! You deserve it!!

Kat I hope you are feeling well. We're here for you!

Well its wicked late and I need some sleep.
Love to you all

Jennelle 08-09-2004 07:04 PM

Chris, I love your birthday picture! And pink is definitely your color!

Michelle, I know you had a rough day! Try not to dwell, though. The beauty of it is that God gave you another minute to start fresh. :) What's done is done.

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