Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 07-30-2004, 07:07 AM   #31  
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Let's be careful here ladies, I don't want to trigger anyone. We can talk about what we do in a general way, no details, cool? My biggest fear is someone to come along and think bullimia is a lifestyle choice. It's damn **** if you ask me.

I don't know how much everyone here knows about the eating disorders? Being perfectionist (doing too much, or being paralyzed by the fear to fail) is just standard modus operandi. What we need is strageties for our stinkin thinking. Jenelle is right on when she so honestly writes about what is bothering her.

FEAR= False evidence appearing real. Its up to all of us to take all the BS lies that the disease expresses, get them out there in the light of day, where everyone can see them and tell the damn thing to shut up.

The other day someone asked me what my favorite food was. I don't have favorites anymore. I have food that treats my body in a loving way, and food that makes me want to jump off a bridge. God is the nourishment for my soul. Him and all of you my dear friends.

I have a little prayer for all of us this morning.
Just for today God let us be the beautiful creatures we are. Let us remeber we are your daughters. Let us stand out in the sun. Let us make loving food choices. Let us be happy and at peace for just this day. Thy will be done.

I love you all. We don't have to say f*ck it. God gives us the choice, that is His gift.
Chris
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Old 07-30-2004, 08:24 AM   #32  
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Jennelle -- Thanks so much for sharing your feelings! I think they are completely normal, particularly given your awful experience as a novice teacher. I agree that you should definitely go ahead with your efforts and I love that there's no backing out because of the $2300! See, that's the kind of thing I would need to keep my feet to the fire in that situation. I also believe that, as much as others' opinions don't *really* matter, I would probably keep it to myself for the time being anyway. There's no sense in opening yourself up to anymore discomfort than you have to.

Teachers can be very competitive! Side story...several years ago a colleague and I were recognized by the state for outstanding test scores. We were asked to make a presentation to the governor's conference on education which opened many doors for us. We traveled to various school districts to give our presentation and were paid handsomely for it. It was awesome to realize that, in a couple of instances, districts had scheduled in-service workdays around when we could come and talk to their teachers. What a rush! However, at our home school, there were several on the faculty who took great delight in tearing us down--either to our faces or behind our backs. There was no way that we could talk about our experiences or act in any way that we were proud of our accomplishment. Thankfully, our "notoriety" opened the door for us to be able to transfer to another school in the district where our children would attend, etc. So it has a happy ending, but for awhile it was an odd mixture of validation and ostracism.

Anyway, all that is to say that I understand. You can do this! It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, but--like you said, it does. No real advice except to say do what feels right for you knowing what you know about your coworkers and how this whole educational system works. I'm really proud of you for taking this step when there's no one else around to go through it with you. You're brave and strong and obviously devoted to this field. We need many more people like you, Jennelle!

Hunskie -- Don't be intimidated by us! The only person I've ever had to correct on this board is myself. I'm another hyster-sister! I had mine on Valentine's Day in 2003. I got to keep both of my ovaries, but still feel a little screwy sometimes. (Not sure how much I can blame on the surgery though...)

Chris -- Beautiful prayer. Thank you!

Well, you know me, I would love to say more, but the way this machine has been acting lately I'm afraid it would die before I got it posted!

Back later,
Christy

Last edited by elizabecca; 07-30-2004 at 08:30 AM.
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Old 07-30-2004, 04:29 PM   #33  
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Christy - "an odd mix of validation and ostracism" - that's what I'm prepared for. Thank you so much for your story, because it helped me realize that all good teachers will encounter those jealousy barriers at one time or another in their careers.

On the homefront, my computer completely crapped out! I think the power supply gave up the ghost, which - with an electronics tech/engineer for a husband - is easily fixed. Right now, I'm at the public library using their computer. Thank goodness I got all my stuff for school printed out already!

We are off to western Arkansas this weekend to possibly pick up my husband's parents' old 32-foot RV. They lived in it for a while after they retired. They both died in 1988 and we thought the RV had been sold. Turns out that husband's oldest brother had it. He and his ex-wife lived in it for a while when they made a brief attempt at living in Arkansas. When they left, they left it there in the care of whomever is renting their house. It's been about three years since he's seen it, and he has no idea what kind of shape it's in. We'll see. I know my husband will be crushed if it's not salvageable.
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Old 07-30-2004, 05:36 PM   #34  
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Hey girls

Hunskie welcome!! Have you ever had your thyroid checked? I'm so glad that we finally found out why I was/am so tired all the time Now we are working on getting my levels figured out which is an ordeal lol.

Chris and Jennelle you are both always so insightful you both seem to be able to say/write what I am not able to put into words thanks for that! I wish I were able to write as eloquently as you both do

Christy How are things with you? Are you ready to go back to school?

I had a visit with my doctor today since the other day my blood pressure was rather high, and my blood pressure came back down so my doc let me go back on my rx weight loss meds but we switched to phentermine. She checked my journal and said it looked good cept for the few days I had gorged myself or the few days that I ate nothing. I'm so lucky I have a caring doctor to help me through this. Anyway I hope you all have a great weekend.

oh Jennelle I hope you have fun in Arkansas and hopefully the RV will be salvaged

Michelle
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Old 07-30-2004, 06:27 PM   #35  
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Lightbulb Sorry

Sorry bout that. I was just trying to point out the traps of suggestion in the media. I was by no means trying to make bulimia a "life style choice". Yes bulimia is **** believe me I know, and that's what I meant by "still fighting 23 years later"! I was 13 at the time, rational thought was not exactly my strong point at that time .
I hope no one thought that I was in any way suggesting to "give it a try". I'll be more careful in the future, and only put the Details of my struggles in the "Our Stories" link here. So it's cool Sorry again, my bad

Chris: Beautiful prayer btw, could I ask to copy and paste it on my web page? I of course will give full credit to it's creator. What a wonderful way to start a day. I love that you made it "just for today" cause that's what we all need to do, to just get through today and we will be successful. Tomorrow will eventually become today, did that make sense .

Quote:
Quote by Chris I have food that treats my body in a loving way, and food that makes me want to jump off a bridge.
Love that one too... Your very insightful. Exactly how I feel sometimes about food that I think is treating me in a loving way, but later on makes me want to jump off a bridge. Although I'm sure that's not exactly what you meant.

Michelle...So glad to hear your blood pressure come down, does the RX weight loss medication work? My doc was going to put me on weight loss meds once, but they were to expensive. Yes, I have had my thyroid tested, but the darned test either says border line, or just a teeny below, not enough to medicate the doc says. I guess I'll stick to coffee ... mmmmm coffeeeee... must go have a cup now..

Jennelle: Good luck in Arkansas. I hope that the RV is in good condition. Safe driving

Christy: I'm so glad that you were able to transfer out of that school. To bad more people can't be more possitive about other peoples accomplishments.

On to my good news.... Drum roll please..... I lost 11 pounds
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:45 PM   #36  
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Hunskie--About the thyroid problem--I have a low thyroid problem and believe me I can't function sometimes because I'm so tired.

Chris--I agree with you 100% on fear and holding back. Been in similar situations but the fear of the unknown holds me back.

Janelle, Do the best you can do. Screw the others and do it for yourself. "kiss-***" people is in every kind of business. My co-worker Lisa is just one of those people. I don't like leaving Tim a note saying I've done this or that but if I don't she'll take credit for it.

Michelle--fill me in on the cocktail for thyroid patients. Right now I'm doing excellent on a 1.37 mg of levoxyl

Yesterday I had a bad day with food emotions. It started with a twinkie that another coworker gave me. I fought cravings all day. I have to stay away from any type of cake. It's one of my biggest triggers to binge. but I didn't and I'm grateful for that.

Every one have a good week end--Think about me--I'll be working.
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Old 07-31-2004, 04:18 AM   #37  
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Smile I love it when we are so chatty!

CJ- I am working to this weekend, so your not alone girlie. I do have next week off though. Prayers for you sweetie!

Hunskie- We love you just as you come. Don't second guess yourself I just worry about triggers for people. I know a 10 year recovering bullimic and she and I are very honest with each other. My biggest fear in this world is to trigger her when I am active in my disease Hunskie, you take what you need to get recovery for today girl. This day is all we got, yesterday is gone, and tommorow is unhurried to arrive.

Michelle- Having a good Dr. is a blessing. My Dr. takes care of me in a very loving way, I feel so blessed to have him. My therapist? Well the jury is still out on her.

Jenelle- Have a safe trip to AK. I love you girlie!

Christy- Very insightful story! We need to hear your ESH for the day too. Let God take care of the damn machine Your awesome!

Me? Well I let my disease in with the good old, you can handle one of this processed, sugary piece of crap, and we are off to the races girls. I sat in meeting last night feeling like crap and a liar. And you know what? Those people still love me. They still love sick little old Chris. So I will do what my sponsor says. I am justing hoping in a few areas God has some ideas at the moment, because I am all about self will right now. Time to smack me on my *** I think

Well lets have a beautiful, loving day, ladies, just as we should have!

Chris
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Old 07-31-2004, 05:35 PM   #38  
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quick post, I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!!

Chris I'm glad you have a caring compassionate doctor as well It helps a lot.

CeeJay I'm taking 50 mcg of synthroid which is just T4 and then we just added 25 mcg of Cytomel, which is just T3, when we checked my levels they were normal but low normal so she thinks, and I hope, that it will help me feel more lively, not speedy mind you just awake lol.

Ok I need to drag my butt outta bed from a nap and get ready to go work with one of the most god awful people I've ever met, mind you I get along with most everyone and rarely do I have problems with people but ughhhh this girl, if you have done anything then she has done it 10 times better, or like when we talk about pregnancies hers was 10 times worse, I hate that she seems to compete with people all the time, uh oh maybe its just me being negative lol. Ok so anyway needless to say it will be a less than perfect evening for me lol.

Love to all
Michelle
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Old 07-31-2004, 06:53 PM   #39  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rochemist
Jenelle- Have a safe trip to AK. I love you girlie!
Oddly enough, I live in AK (Alaska) and my wedding dress was sent to Arkansas (AR, by the way)... It didn't arrive here until three days before my wedding - AAACKKK talk about stress!!
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Old 07-31-2004, 09:10 PM   #40  
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Originally Posted by linoleum
Oddly enough, I live in AK (Alaska) and my wedding dress was sent to Arkansas (AR, by the way)... It didn't arrive here until three days before my wedding - AAACKKK talk about stress!!
Well don't I learn something new everyday! That would be stress!

Hi Michelle! and your beautiful babies!

Chris
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Old 07-31-2004, 09:48 PM   #41  
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Hi ladies,
Michelle, have you ever considered taking a vitamin b3 for more energy. Since I've been taking this I have ton's of energy. It's also called Niacin and good for a sluggish metabolism.

Janelle--Have a safe trip to AR. Wave at me when you drive by. Will you be coming up Interstate 55?

Chris-Yeah over time has been completed. Tomorrow I start my shift and I'll finally have a day off on Thursday and a four day week end.. I' ll have 44 hours over time.

I didn't want to come inside while ago when I got home from work. So I cleaned out the bird bath and weeded some in the flower bed. The four o'clocks smell so good. I haven't been home long enough to do any of this--It is beginning to look unsightly.

I'm still having trouble getting completely back on track since I've eaten that Twinkie. He offered me a regular dr pepper today. This time I told him I was off caffiene-and I am.

I did some Pilates and crunches at work. Water is good. Food not as good as I would like for it to be.

I thought I was going to luck out on the phone calls today. I did get a phone call "from the Mayor" wanting to have some one power turned on temporarily. This is usually a no no, but you got to do what the Main Man says.
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Old 08-01-2004, 03:26 AM   #42  
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Default Sorry I've been AWOL

I am totally behind in posts, too. We were out of town last weekend and I have just not been good with checking in.

Doing all right here. Had a nice lunch with my sponsor the other day.

OK, I am way behind in posts so I'll just start reading from now on. I saw some new names - welcome!
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Old 08-01-2004, 05:35 AM   #43  
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Thanks for stopping by Kat! You are missed.

CJ- ODAT youmade it just for today without the DP and the crap. YGG!

Chris
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Old 08-01-2004, 02:24 PM   #44  
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Hi Ladies!! I'm sorry I've been MIA - welcome Hunskie, welcome back CJ (I remember you from when I was new). I was busy with doc appointments for DS earlier in the week, and then went to my mom's to spend a couple of days. IT'S HOT HERE, AND SHE HAS A POOL. Plus, my oldest and dearest friend was in town, so we went out and had dinner and a couple o'beers, which was very therapeutic for both of us. She's the only person I really feel comfortable sharing all my darkest and deepest crap with, and I really needed to unload. Then I went to her parents' house on Sat for a fish fry and ate cooter for the first time (that's turtle ). It was fun.

Teachers - I don't know how you do it. You'd think dealing with the KIDS' personalities would be the hardest part of your job, but no. Good luck to Christy and Jennelle (like Chris, I say, Trust God!!).

Chris, sorry your hubby has been irritating you lately - I'm having issues there as well. We could really improve things, but DH sees in black and white, and is convinced he's always right, so compromise doesn't come easy to him. I asked him not long ago if he thought we should go to counseling, but he said he didn't think I needed therapy.

I'm trying to exercise for fun and get out more with the kids. But it's hard in this heat. (The humidity is brutal here - 80% or more. Like soup.)

Top five things Tracy is thankful for (I don't have the attention span to come up with 25!)

1. Friends who don't judge
2. My church - where I can put my focus on God and others, and forget about myself
3. My lurvely chillren
4. My hairdresser (my color looks amazing!!)
5. My new tote bag that is just too cute.

Love you all, have good days!
Tracy
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Old 08-01-2004, 02:27 PM   #45  
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Oh, and I'm thankful for caffeine, duh.
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