Weekly Check-In, 6/6 - 6/12
 

Hi all,

Sorry I was AWOL a bit. Just super busy - didn't have any chances to really read or check-in.

Everything is going well. I am buying a pedimeter today. Going to see how much I walk in a typical day and then try to increase that. Great meditation came in my box today:

Hazelden Meditation Series

We can choose to bloom where we're planted.

We're not always where we want to be. Frequently, the conditions and demands
of reality place us somewhere other than the spot we would have preferred.
Perhaps because of family considerations, job circumstances, or financial
constraints, we find ourselves physically located in one place but mentally
wishing we were somewhere else.

Our concentration and attention become divided, and we feel frustrated.
Since we don't want to turn to food to relieve the frustration, what are we
going to do?

If circumstances are beyond our power to change, or if we choose not to
change them because of values that are important to us, our best response is
to accept where we are and focus our attention on the here and now. Since
our lives are in the hands of a Higher Power, we can be assured we are
situated where we are supposed to be. Our task is to be fully awake and
aware of present reality so we can learn what we need to from this stage of
our life journey.

*

Today, I will strive to be fully present and contribute my best, wherever I
am.

thanks for posting that kat. being fully present is so important.
you guys, i went to the birthday party i posted about last week. i wore my new "fit me now" clothes and some new earrings. i got several compliments and was told that i looked beautiful! wow, i was floored. - regardless of the compliments i was happy with myself for staying present each day last week and not allowing anxiety about the party to trigger a binge. i was also happy with myself for getting dressed up and going rather than hiding out at home and eating. thanks for all your support here. hope everyone has a good week.

Ahhh, Lily - fantastic!! I'm so glad you went. And you're right, Kat - that is a good meditation.

I had a busy week, too - went to see DS' surgeon, and the news was good. We were afraid he would need another surgery on his skull this Fall, but everything's growing like it should, so we can hold off. Eventually, at 6 or 7, he'll need cosmetic surgery to bring his eyesockets forward a little, but that won't be as traumatic.

We had a shrimp boil with our parish on Saturday, then I skipped church Sunday to see Harry Potter. :chin: Aside from the Raisinets, it was great.

I think I'm ready to define my abstinence. Three meals a day, no eating between them. Pretty simple, I know, but my eating has been SO incredibly out of wack for the last year or two - it will be a challenge. I'm not going to restrict myself on WHAT I eat - but I won't be buying trigger foods, like M&Ms or garlic bread.

Hope everyone has a happy Monday!

Hee hee - thanks, Cyndi. :) DS is my Darling Son, Matthew, in my avatar. He was born in August with a suture in his skull fused together that should've been open for growth. He had surgery at 12 weeks to release it, but it has recently fused back together (a genetic defect - but it should fuse anyway around 2 years of age).

Was it you that was reading The Purpose Driven Life? If so, I wanted to say that I am, too, (along with every other spiritual/self-help book on the market) and I'm really enjoying it.

Hi all
 

Going to the vet soon. One of my cats has bad teeth so he is due for a cleaning. It won't be today - the vet has to check him out, first.

Lily, great job taking it ODAT! :jig:

Tracy, good news regarding your son! :dancer:

Cyndi, I often read more than one book, too. DH got me into that habit. ;)

Chris, Ellis, Christy, Jennelle: :wave:

Things are going well here. I am having trouble getting up for my morning walk. It's sort of a catch 22 - I feel better with the walk but I also have a better day when well rested. I usually go to bed at a decent time, too. So I guess I'll just do my best (what a concept! :p ).

Have a great day!

I almost gave up yesterday. :o I tried to get out of walking too. :o My daughter made me walk. I did, and I was glad I did. :D I made it through the night, and I didn't give up and I resisted that binging temptation. :)

Just trying to keep going and think positive. :dizzy:

I never thought food (with me, it's sweets and chocolate) would have such a hold on me and be like a drug. :?:

Everyone have a great week! :D

I am here!
 

Hi Everyone :wave:

Yesterday I just had nothing to say. I went clothes shopping and was blessed to find that I wore a 14/16. I finsihed my step work, and now attempting to have just the day I am suppose to be having :coffee:

Cyndi- Foods hold on me was just my part of my journal topic. I wrote a goodbye to it yesterday as my small god. The one that my brain tells me with make me fill better, and fill that void. Its always been a liar and worked exact opposite. I think we start to feel like its so much a part of who we are letting it go and finding out who Chris or Cyndi is without it seems HUGE! :grouphug:

Kat- I know the "doing what I can" instead of "what my brain thinks it should be doing" is quite the concept. YGG! ODAT!

Tracy- glad Matt is okay. And good for you for finding a definition of abstinence. Once again we take it ODAT :grouphug:

Lily- I am glad you went out and were feeling beautiful. I think it's the fear of what might be, instead of living in the now that is that can be tricky. In Yoga they say that the breath is the connection to the mind and the body, and within it is only NOW, a mantra for living :D

Thats it for me. Have a great Day!
Chris :flow:

Hola
 

OK, vent time.

I am taking care of paperwork right now since it is the last week of work. Since I am a mini supervisor, I am checking some of my colleagues. So many mistakes! :mad: On stuff I have reviewed with them just days ago. AAAARRRGGGGHHHH! :bomb: I realize it's no big deal in the end but I want to bang my head against a wall. These are initelligent women - so why do they need to be spoon fed simple info? :censored:

OK, done venting. I had another issue at work yesterday. It's a rather long story that I don't feel like getting into. It's all for the better and I honestly come out on top but it was frustrating. Let's just say I worked hard helping someone who ended up not appreciating it (I was in a supervisory position with her). I've had to chant "someone's perception is not my reality" a lot and pray to HP over it. I am left confident in that I did a good job and was a good cheerleader to this person. And if she can't see that, then it's honestly not my fault. It's too bad and a good lesson to learn (that not everyone perceives things the same way) but kind of disappointing since I tried my hardest and feel that it was a waste. My supervisor is on my side and very cool about it (she recognizes it as a perception issue), so that's good. ;)

Cyndi, do you have a sponor or are you going to any OA meetings?

Chris: Congrats on the smaller size! I have been getting compliments lately which have been uplifting. :)

Have a great night!

Hi Ladies. It's my birthday (shameless plug) and today my parents and I will be painting my kitchen my THIRD shade of green. :encore: Hopefully, this will be the charm! Then we'll have dinner and cake later. I've really felt good about my eating this week - just cutting back to meal times has helped tremendously. I'm sure my blood sugar was all out of whack from eating all day.

Cyndi - I know some days are so tough. You may slip up, but never give up. Your HP and your 3FC girls are here to support you! :grouphug:

Kat - I'm sorry about your work frustrations. There are a lot of social trolls in the world. You could be my boss anytime. :)

Go Chris on the new size!! That must be an awesome feeling!

Take care, everyone!

Good Morning!
 

Happy Birthday Tracy! :hb: :gift: :cheer: :love:

Tracy may you grow in beauty, grace, and wisdom with each passing year :D I am glad your feeling good this week, thats the road to sanity :grouphug:

Kat, well thats the truth of the world isn't it. I had a sponsor who told me to not have any expectations of people and then I wouldn't have any resentments. It been easier for me to take them as they come then hold them to my standards. But golly gee some people can be frustrating :rolleyes: (((((((((((((((Kat)))))))))))))))

Well where is everybody? Lily, Jenelle, Cyndi, and how about Miss Ellis?????
:wave: Say howdy.

Oh I guess I forgot to say how I am. I am exactly where I am today :coffee:
Chris :dance:

Happy Birthday Tracy!!!!!!!!!!! :) :gift:


Thanks for the encouragement from everyone ((((((hugs)))))))

No, I don't have a sponsor or attend meetings. I guess I am thinking I can do it myself at home:nono:, with God's help of course. :)

I dunno though, I think I'm about ready to just say forget it. I feel better from walking now, and I feel less guilty in eating better, but the scales are not moving! I'm used to "lose quick" diets, and making the scales move, but then I gain it back. Back and forth, back and forth....etc :tired:

cyndi :?:

happy birthday tracy! how did the kitchen turn out? your DS matthew is darling!

kat, cyndi, tracy and chris - i must tell you all that you are an inspiration to me - funny, as i take the focus off food, life can be a bit boring -- not easy, but the drama is typically more mundane. this is not a bad thing. i don't know if this makes sense, but i am experiencing in my own life (and also through you all) the ups and downs of everyday adult life. a life not numbed by food i guess. i'm learning every day.

chris - what you said about what you called the "small god" of food being a liar is SO true.

me- i am doing pretty well. my goal were to eat when hungry & stop when full (nothing being off limits), exercise for enjoyment (not as a punishment) and to do something nice for myself every day. i've been doing quite well this week. my nighttime eating has all but disappeared. i'm just being a lot nicer to myself in general. it feels good, but scary sometimes - hard to explain, but it can be tough to do sometimes when it seems like i've done nothing to earn it - you know?

A quick hello. :wave: Tomorrow is my last day of work. Yay! Then 3 1/2 weeks of vacation.

I'll check in over the weekend. :)

Ahh, the kitchen finally looks good. This green works with the cabinets and the faux brick floor. Now, I'm a little stressed because my SIL, BIL, and their 6 children arrive after lunch and are staying for dinner. It should be pretty wild, but fun. They're on their way to Hilton Head from Kansas.

I haven't been doing as well in the past couple of days since my b-day, but my period started this morning, and that may have something to do with it. It's my first real one since Matt's birth. DH called on his way home the other night, and asked if I wanted anything - he was stopping for a Ho Ho. I requested a Twinkie. ;) Instead, he brought me a whole box. :o Fortunately, he ate almost half of them. :p

Okay, have two bathrooms to clean and two lasagnes to assemble. Take care, everyone. Where's Jennelle?

No, have you tried a deep-fried Twinkie, Cyndi? I can't bear to. Why mess with perfection? :lol: So glad you feel at home here!! :flow2:

Wanting to share...
 

I typed this up for a fitness board I visit and just wanted to share:

I finally got around to making a weight loss website. I still have more to lose, but I am happy with my progress so far. I sometimes get frustrated with how long it has taken me (my highest was in 12/01) but looking at these pictures actually helps inspire me.

I was a skinny teenager and thin throughout college. It wasn't until I moved 3000 miles away from home, to the land of the friegen beautiful (Los Angeles), into the real world (graduate school, full time work) that I started having weight issues. From May 1997 - December 2001, I gained almost 60#.

I am an emotional eater and a compulsive overeater. In January, 2002, I was just plain sick of it. I had tried many diets but always failed them (I failed them, not vice versa) because I wasn't truly dealing with my issues. Food really isn't my issues. How I behave with food is.

That year I worked on my emotional eating, using Bob Greene's Get With the Program. I lost 16# on that. But slowly, the weight began to creep back on. I felt like, once again, such a failure.

That's when I started looking into 12 step programs and came across Overeaters Anonymous. I began going to meetings online and then to meetings down the street from me. I got myself a sponsor and began to work the steps, taking each day one at a time.

I was a spiritual person before OA but now I am even closer to my Higher Power (HP). I speak with her daily. I let her guide me, instead of my own sick thoughts. I do not eat unless I am hungry (wow, what a concept - but for this COE, it's not easy!). I obsess over food and life issues way less because I am on a tight spiritual path. This program has freed me to actually live my life.

I've recently celebrated a year of abstinence. Taking it one day at a time. It's been a fabulous journey.

Anyway, sorry this is so long but I wanted to share. I also created a photo album of my journey. You can find it here. The username is Weight and the password is Loss.

KAT!!! Wow. It must be so wonderful to look in the mirror these days. What an inspiration you are!! And it's so nice to see the lovely face under your Catwoman mask. :D Thank you for sharing this with us!

Living in today!
 

Kat- Thank you for the wonderful share. Your an absolute beauty, you look so delicate. Just beautiful. :love:

Tracy- Food is food. Your wonderful in the now, and the food can not grant that or take it away. What a gift to be able to put up with 6 people invading your house! :D

cyndi- You show me a perfect dieter and I will show you someone so caught up in dellusions of control they can be sicker than any of us on a given day. Been the perfect dieter, making my own little perfect ****. Now that I have fired all my diet gurus I get to think and decide and plan for me :D

Having a fabulous day. Not much to say I just am. I learn so much everyday from opening my heart to my HP ,my program, the people in it, and all of you. I just feel so grateful and blessed. Have a great Saturday everyone! :wave: :grouphug:

Chris :dance:

Thanks ladies!
 

I look delicate? :lol: Wish I felt delicate. :) Thank you for the compliments, ladies!

Today I am going to a wedding dress fitting for a friend. She's probably 100 pounds soaking wet, so I'm glad I decided to make that photo site yesterday to keep my sick little head in perspective. Instead of wasting the time fretting (in my head) about how much bigger I am than her (which makes sense, given that she's like 2-3 inches shorter than me), I will actually enjoy the fun little event. What a concept! :)

Have a beautiful day, ladies! Whether or not I've ever seen your face, you are all beautiful. How can I tell? From the words you share here. :)

(BTW, the forget if I mentioned that AF showed up this week - so now I'm on cycle 2 for TTC...it was disppointing but HP helped me deal)

I understand completely, Skippy. I lurked for a long time before I felt ready to reveal anything about myself.

I've had an okay day - dog tired, but okay. Sorry you had another period, Kat, but HP knows when the timing will be perfect. You know, I've had lots of friends who used ovulation predictors, and went at it from a scientific angle. I just jumped my DH when I felt like jumping him, which was of course when I was ovulating anyway. There was less pressure and more fun that way. Take the time to enjoy the process. ;) (Oh, and get used to unsolicited advice, 'cause when you're pregnant - EVERYONE seems to feel they have a right to open their mouths in the best interest of your baby.)

Now go get you some. (Where's the 'dog humping a leg' smilie when you really need one?) :smug: