5 steps back, trying to take step forward
 

Hi.
I haven't posted here in months because I've been too busy stuffing my face. I had lost 56 pounds last year after doing OA, but not consistently. Still, it was the best progress I'd had. Suddenly end of December I went into a food filled haze right up until today. So in december I was at 232, today I weighed in at doctor at 259. 27 pounds gained in 3 months, it's pretty impressive.
Anyways I am posting here in the hopes that it will give me the hope to try this again cuz right now I can't even imagine eating the stuff I ate last year. But, I said that last january at 291 pounds and I managed somehow. Need to get back to a plan and support.
thanks for listening.

Welcome back Davina. Substantial regain seems to be a very common component of most peoples' weight loss journeys, including mine. Is there anything positive that you can glean from your recent regain, in terms of ways to prevent or avoid similar situations in the future? The one good thing I can say about my recent regain was that I learned what NOT to do next time a hugely stressful work trip/deadline combo is looming.

I know what you mean Devina - after doing so well for a few months, i just stopped being careful and regained quite a bit.

And JayZeeJay - I think i get what you're trying to say but am not sure for me it's a question of finding out what went wrong (or what not to do). I find i know why i gain weight - when i eat more than i should. And while i definitely have made huge positive gains in terms of no longer binge eating (up til a year ago that was the biggest issue), i still find it hard to reduce my calorie intake.

For instance, I have an apple for a snack, but i decide i'll go get a small candy bar instead. Or i have oatmeal for breakfast, but decide to get a hot chocolate instead. Or I have 3 tacos instead of 1. I could fill up on salad but i decide i want sweet potato fries.

So Davina - we're in this together. I like being here because I can get motivation from people like JayZeeJay who've been through what we're going through and have positive stories to share. Here's to trying again

Ah, Christmas, the annual Trial of Temptation for those of us with food issues. This year, coming into Christmas I had been on a good healthy, no sugar, plan for eight months and had lost 35 pounds. I prepared Christmas dinner for my family and still stayed within my plan.

Here's the supremely stupid thing I did: Some woman at my husband's job gave everyone a huge tin of homemade fudge. He brought it home, knowing it's my biggest weakness. I thought I would just freeze about eight big pieces for "someday." That day came in the middle of January, when I ate the whole thing by myself and proceeded to eat like there was no tomorrow until today. I have gained twenty pounds.

I am starting again today and I will never again kid myself into thinking I can have fudge in the freezer (was I nuts?) or that I can eat any sweets in moderation.

What I cannot moderate, I must eliminate. Period.

hello again guys. I had been swimming like 3 times, sometimes 4 times a week and loving it. it wasnt for weight loss but i love the water. i havent been swimming in 2 months now because i am almost back to my original weight and i just dont have the stamina to swim laps, i had been building up slowly but now i huff and puff again walking up the stairs. I feel such a sadness. I feel sadness that i don't think i can get over this. i started in 2014, had success with OA, the most id ever had with my eating issues. OA was the 1 more chance i was giving myself before seriously considering bariatric and ive come to the sad conclusion that I will likely have to go through with it. i really don't want to, there is failure rates and it won't help the coping i do with food but what else can i do at this point? i have an anxiety disorder so going through with surgery and all those possible permanent affects is a very risky thing but i won't be alive much longer anyways i keep going like this. i will eat myself literally to death and end up on my 600 pound life on tlc. i havent weighed myself since doctor at 259 but for sure i am at 270 at the very least now....its not about the weight so much, it's that I am very aware now that I am defeated. It's either accept this or surgery there seems to be no more options for me.