Turning negatives into positives
 

Hi Everyone,
One of the things that I'm trying to do for 2015 is to turn negatives into positives because when I get overwhelmed with negatives, I binge eat to cope with it.

I was raised by a father who was extremely rigid and inflexible. Like a 3 year old child, things had to go his way and when plans had to change or things didn't go his way, he would get agitated and anxious and negative. I have a tendency to do the same thing - I plan things in a very specific way and when things don't go as planned, especially if it's something unexpected, I get anxious and agitated. But since I've been dealing with my binge eating disorder and reading a book on Intuitive Eating, which is all about being flexible and going by your instincts, I am trying to be more flexible.

Today is a good example. I knew that we were going to be getting a cold spell for this week so I planned my shopping very carefully. I had planned on going shopping today because the cold spell was supposed to start tonight.

But it came a day early and so this morning we got fog, cold, and icy drizzle. I started walking to the store and 3 minutes out, I realized that the icy drizzle had made the ground very slippery. I am recovering from a sprained ankle so the last thing I need is to deal with icy roads.

So my well-laid plan to go shopping today fell through and it did make me agitated and angry at first. But I started to talk positively to myself. I can go later this week when the cold spell is over shopping - no harm done. Plus, I did get done today the laundry that I had planned and I also got a chance to do some writing today (I'm a fiction writer), since I woke up early to go to the store and didn't go. I probably wouldn't have gotten to the writing today if I had gone, so I actually achieved more than I set out to this morning.

It's tough because I am so used to negative talk and letting myself get into a position that I am so anxious and agitated that I binge eat to deal with it and mash down those feelings.

Djuna

Letting go of negativity is something I'm always trying to do. I'm not a particularly negative person but I am very sensitive to negativity. The way you describe how you feel when things change unexpectedly, that sounds like you're trying to be very controlling of everything around you. It's kind of like being a perfectionist, perfectionists don't actually achieve perception in anything they're just constantly disappointed in themselves and in others.

It's funny you brought this up because this morning I woke up after a long spell of feeling negative. I've had horrible acid reflux for the last few months and I've done everything prescribed to me to make it better including the medication, the necessary dietary restrictions and the life style change required. And it's not getting better. But for some reason, after waking up with horrible heartburn I felt a renewed sense of hope, that maybe this has happened to me for a reason and rather than seeing it as some awful misfortune befallen on me it is instead an opportunity to listen even more closely to my body's needs and take care of this without medication.

I have innevitably turned this situation into one of massive guilt, as if I DESERVE to have gerd, as if I caused in onto myself. But sometimes these things happen and they can be rectified. I don't need to beat myself up over this. Turning a new leaf.

For me, it is all about gratitude. It is impossible to be grateful and negative at the same time. I start every day with 5 things I'm grateful for and end the day the same way. If I'm having trouble coming up with them on my own, I consult my little Hallmark book called "1001 things to be Grateful for" or something similar.

My first gratitude of the day is always the same one...I'm grateful to have woken up. So long as we awake each day, we have all the opportunity in the world to craft our lives as we wish.

Originally Posted by beginme:
For me, it is all about gratitude. It is impossible to be grateful and negative at the same time. I start every day with 5 things I'm grateful for and end the day the same way. If I'm having trouble coming up with them on my own, I consult my little Hallmark book called "1001 things to be Grateful for" or something similar.

My first gratitude of the day is always the same one...I'm grateful to have woken up. So long as we awake each day, we have all the opportunity in the world to craft our lives as we wish.

I love the affirmation in your siggy :)