Running away from the forum when things are going south. - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

thirti4thirty · 07-31-2014, 11:40 AM

I've done this a couple of times, including on other healthy living websites. I lost 23 lbs and regained 13. I've been unconsciously avoiding the forum.

I know it's part of my nature: the idea of failure scares the **** out of me. I know it can only get worse if I isolate myself, but I can't help coming here, reading success stories, stories of less successful dieters and see myself making foolish decisions day after day.

Can someone relate? How do survive this?

nibog · 07-31-2014, 11:50 AM

I definitely understand how you feel. I was a yoyo dieter for years before my current program.

It finally came down to my health. I **WANT** to lose weight because there are more things that I want to do than I want to make excuses for.

No one else matters in this - it comes down to me, my life, my feelings, my health, my body.

Once I felt that...committing to an intense diet that will get me to my goal was easy. Ok...maybe not "EASY"...but less terrifying then before!

This is the longest I have stayed 100% true....which at this point every day is a triumph. It was so easy for me to justify "cheats" before....I did a lot of activity today...I really didn't finish all my lunch...I skipped a meal earlier...broken cookies have no calories...etc

Survive it by reminding yourself that what you did yesterday cannot be changed so there is no sense of dwelling - you can not predict what life is going to throw at you tomorrow so there is not use worrying - you focus on this day, this moment and do the best you can.

Desiderata · 07-31-2014, 12:44 PM

I've done this in the past. I've learned that avoiding the site is a sure sign that I'm off-track and in denial about it. The last eighteen months, even as I slowly regained some weight and clearly wasn't trying to be on plan, I've kept coming here on the regular. I am 100% convinced that continuing to come to 3FC has helped me; no doubt the weight gain would be greater if I'd just disappeared again. So for now, my mantra is to keep hanging around here, no matter what's going on with my choices -- this site is a good influence.

MauiKai · 07-31-2014, 12:45 PM

Running away from things that are helpful and good for you is a sure way to find failure. For me the best thing is to come here (or where ever it is that you prefer to post) and just tell the truth. There is no shame in admitting a screw up. Hiding (from the truth, or hiding (in a bathroom/closet/bedroom) to eat) is almost always a precursor to disaster. I don't think there is a single person here who judges anyone for binging, falling off the wagon, cheating etc because we're all here for the same reason. We're fat and we would prefer not to be. And most of us have done all of the above at one time or another. I sure have.

mars735 · 07-31-2014, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desiderata

I've done this in the past. I've learned that avoiding the site is a sure sign that I'm off-track and in denial about it. The last eighteen months, even as I slowly regained some weight and clearly wasn't trying to be on plan, I've kept coming here on the regular. I am 100% convinced that continuing to come to 3FC has helped me; no doubt the weight gain would be greater if I'd just disappeared again. So for now, my mantra is to keep hanging around here, no matter what's going on with my choices -- this site is a good influence.

I agree. OP, the way you've just put it out there is a geat way to use the forum in a way that is helpful to you as you are right now. That's really a smart & courageous thing to do. And refreshingly honest. Just the fact of keeping with 3FC is like tracking food, imo. it somehow tells the brain what to do and helps to focus motivation in the direction we want to go. I really don't understand it but I know when I no longer track, and lately when I avoid this website, I'm probably slipping.
Thanks for your comment.

Mountain Mamma · 08-03-2014, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thirti4thirty

I've done this a couple of times, including on other healthy living websites. I lost 23 lbs and regained 13. I've been unconsciously avoiding the forum.

Can someone relate? How do survive this?

and

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desiderata

I've done this in the past. I've learned that avoiding the site is a sure sign that I'm off-track and in denial about it. The last eighteen months, even as I slowly regained some weight and clearly wasn't trying to be on plan, I've kept coming here on the regular. I am 100% convinced that continuing to come to 3FC has helped me; no doubt the weight gain would be greater if I'd just disappeared again. So for now, my mantra is to keep hanging around here, no matter what's going on with my choices -- this site is a good influence.

Relate? As someone who re-gained 13 lbs also, while coincidentally being off 3FC, yes! Maybe it's because we'd rather share success than failure?
Yeah, hanging around the Forum regardless of what's going on is probably the ticket!

wannaskipandlaugh · 08-03-2014, 02:38 PM

Oh this is so true!.. Many times over my last 18 months.. I ate off plan and gained weight and just wanted to stay away and not post my "truth". Posting "truth" makes it real. I would have quit a LONG time ago from this weight loss (Finding a healthy Sue) journey if it wasn't for this site. I believe in the encouragement and knowledge of others for support and know that I am not alone on this journey. Ahhhh the knowledge of information and support (and sometimes ARSE Kicking) has saved me from myself many times. If I had not posted.. I would never have gotten that encouragement - that I now pass along all the time to others!

During my last 40 years.. I pretty much tried to lose weight on my own.. I once made it 3 months... that was the longest in my life to stick to an eating plan. When I stopped eating well.. I did not have someone there to help... I just started ignoring the food I was eating and fell back into the "bad" habits... That is why I really believe my top statement. and THANK YOU to you all for being there for me! I truly THANK YOU!

joefla70 · 08-03-2014, 02:52 PM

Personally, not coming to 3FC wasn't so much an avoidance of the site because I messed up. It is really part of the result of a weight loss malaise I get. When I'm in a groove, I am obsessed with every aspect of my weight loss plan. I have never gone completely off my plan. Actually, I've been pretty good at following it. But, unfortunately, I have very little -- to no - margin of error. For a while I was still doing pretty well while not coming to 3FC to post But eventually I started to slip a little bit in my diet too.

Mercedes136 · 09-05-2014, 12:02 AM

Also can relate to this as I started this site in April and was so inspired, not just by all the success stories, but almost more inspired by how everyone has had failures as much as success. It makes it more realistic for me and easier to relate when people have "gone off the wagon" making me realize that it happens to lots if people and they are able to get back on track ie maybe find a new way. I was suggested to look into the IE side of things when I started back in April. I read one of the books and was very inspired then things got stressful and home & work and I ended up emotionally eating again and gaining more weight and my to to has always been oh crap I just went up another size I need to go back to Ideal Protein eating to lose it fast, but know that does not work and I restrict myself then eat even more. Once I did that I stopped checking in on here and fell back into the same rut again. So here I am again, I totally love all I can learn on 3fc and I need the gentle reminders & posts from everyone to help me along