Wow congratulations go to you too!

Great going Cyn, thats wonderful progress. Keep it up.

Sadly I am failing to get a grip on my eating. I'm going to try reading Brain over Binge again, to reconnect with the ideas that seemed to work. Also my counsellor gave me some good tips today. I need to get a grip. This binging is really getting me down.

mainecyn: In case I miss it tomorrow, 2/19, congrats on one month of being binge free!!!

i honestly don't remember the last time I did a 3000 calorie binge. But a couple of days ago I ate more than a healthy serving of chocolates--I'm going to call that a binge for me for now.

I am prone to emotional eating right now. I am having stress in my relationship, stress in my finances, I am 2 months postpartum, and I am determined to work out and lose weight.

yesterday was the first day for me, because I joined 3 fat chicks again.

So this is day 2.

Congrats everyone on being binge free for ever how long.

Yesterday would have been Day 6, but I messed up. I was sick so I stayed at home all day, and I guess the boredom got the best of me.
Before that I had been doing really well though. Binging just seemed so unappealing.
I think I'm making a lot of progress. I think today will be good, and it seems that every time I do binge, I tell myself that it's going to lead to a stomach ache and nausea right after, gut issues and acne the next day.
Here's to another Day 1, a banana for breakfast, classes, lunch, then going into town with friends. I've got this :)

megan, yes the binging does make you feel sick. You have the rest of the day to be binge free. congrats!

orange, focus on the negative of binging. the money, the icky feeling, one thing that REALLY helped with my binging, is the sick feeling would always be so overwhelming--either from very high blood sugar or just plain pain--I would always purge. Well, the vessels in my face would break badly..and I would have dots everywhere...it was a good reminded why I shouldn't binge because eventually I would purge, and my face would be a mess. Plus I just got through months of morning sickness my last pregnancy...who wants to do that on purpose now?

Thank you so much. I have made it 30 days. This is the longest I have been binge free in years. I am not sure how or why, just thankful that I have been able to stay on top of things. I haven't had "that feeling" the one that creeps up on you and turns that binge switch on. I try to really listen to myself, what is going on physically. I don't know, I really don't feel I am doing anything different that before.

I have been binge free this long. Has it resulted in weight loss? NO, however, it has resulted in me feeling better about myself and more "in control". I have also noticed that my "everyday" eating has slowed way way down. I am not eating much as I used to. I don't know if it is tied together or not. I am keeping as busy as possible and trying not to even think about food.

Note on emotions. Well, I generally seem to binge a great deal, happy or sad, but I also had noticed that during times of stress or anger I also binge. Its like instead of letting out that anger or energy I internalized it, and at. Cramming that food in faster and faster and talking to that person in my mind about how upset or angry I was. I have had several stressful events over this month, got angry, and just felt out of control at times, BUT I DIDN'T BINGE, which was usually my reaction.

Im still reading brain over binge, its taking a long time because I have only been able to really read it while I am at the chiropractor or other dr office.

************************************************** ***
Just a polite warning it may be too much info or gross some out


I am right now, currently, dealing with health (medical) issues related to years of binge eating..this past year being the worse I ever binged. I am taking medication for gi tract, I am dealing with acid reflux and gag reflex (almost vomited this morning when I coughed), and then there is the issue of digestion-um no polite way to say it but when you binge on all that food it has to come out.

I had an appointment this week due to issues (blood) and problems trying to pass all that food has caused, and constipation. I didn't go into detail with the dr as to why I should be having such issues since I am "thin" generally eat healthy, but I had to explain to her why I could no longer physically "go to the bathroom" without a lot of effort, or that it could be up to 6 days until I could. "Digestive problems such as bloating, stomach cramps, constipation or diarrhea " is a polite way to list it all.

Add the fact that for two weeks I am having to use a suppository, take stool softeners morning and night, and go thru a totally embarrassing rectal exam and poo test (sample due to blood)
well, if you thought having your annual pap test etc. is bad-this experience had it beat. Not to mention, I was in the doctor office FOR MY PAP test and exam. The dr asked me if I had any other concerns..I hesitated for a min. and then decided to tell her that whenever I "go to the bathroom" I bleed ALOT, like having to clean yourself and the toilet. She immediately said "we will be looking into that" and then scheduled a bunch of tests.
************************************************** ******
You know, when I look back over the years of all the binge eating, the gaining weight and losing weight, I can never once say that I ever thought or knew that binge eating would or could lead to physical problems or diseases.

I knew that bulimia could cause issues due to vomiting, also affect your teeth. I also knew that anorexia could cause many issues such as no period, loss of bone growth, tons of other things, but never once did I ever read in all the books I read, the self help ones, or the therapist I saw, that binge eating could "tear your digestive system up" and cause future health problems. I know that rationally it makes sense, but that voice in my head kept saying, "well all i was doing was eating a bunch of food fast, it all went in ok, it should be fine" I didn't know I really was causing any trauma except to myself emotionally.

orangesmartie, I understand completely.I keep trying, like you. Get up and try again, thats what I always end up telling myself. I don't know if the book is doing anything "life changing" but it does explain things in a way I can relate to and I also learned that it was normal to feel that therapy doesn't always help. I didn't do well with therapy, they just always returned to childhood events that MIGHT have shaped how I am today, well sure they did..but it wasn't helping me now. I also, like the writer, took topomax, while on it my binge systems were gone for several months and I mentally felt different-which is why I always felt it was a "mental" issue involving a section of my brain.

I skim the book on my kindle when I can if it just doesn't seem to "apply" I move onto something that does apply to me. I didn't relate to much of the bulimia info, or the excessive exercise, but I did relate to the entire weight loss issue. My binge eating got worse after being successful losing weight-I lost 80+ pounds two times. I always used to have periods of over eating and indulging" pre-diet time, but I noticed that this past year after reaching my goal weight suddenly the binge eating reappeared with a vengeance and took hold. It was unlike anything it ever had been before-a monster, out of control. So, yes, I can see some parts of that theory as well. But, I always seemed to have some type of eating disorder as long as I can remember (early childhood etc). There is just so much to shift thru. I don't discount that there are some emotional issues added to my binge eating, I admit it. I have low low self esteem and a poor self image. Do to those things I have resorted to turning to food for comfort and the "high or good" feeling the binge gives. So, I haven't really had my understanding of why I binge eat change at all while reading the book. I just do like that I can relate to what is being said.

I'm thinking of all of you, I haven't been on much because I haven't' been home much except for late at night after work. By then I'm too tired to do anything and I also like privacy when I'm posting here. I don't get that with everyone at home.

mainecyn, thank-you very much for sharing your experience. It takes a lot of courage to do that and especially to tell your doc. Sounds like you have learned to truly take care of yourself. Many times in my life, I've done used my body as a pawn in trying to care for my psyche. I suspect many, many people do in one form or another. Some are much less stigmatized than the ones related to eating. Gender bias, lol?

I hope your doc acted it a way to merit your authenticity & trust--the good ones feel privileged to have a patient as honest as you. And hoping for a full recovery, too. Hope you'll keep us posted.

Cyn, thank you for sharing. I know its hard but its always comforting to know i'm not alone.

Today has been terrible for food. I've just been like a pacman all day, eating and eating and eating. And when i'm not eating, I'm thinking about eating, what I've got in the fridge/freezer/cupboards, what i could get from the supermarket (i had to go to get milk and bread, bought chocolate mousses and greek yoghurt - have already eaten most of that). So i'm about 3000 calories for the day. And i haven't even yet hit the point where my stomach hurts.

I'm onto litre 3 of water and i've had about 5 mugs (big mugs) of redbush tea, no milk or sugar.

I just want to cry (except i don't cry). It upsets me so much that I've put on so much of the weight i lost and am steadily gaining. I hate that I now flinch and cringe when my partner touches me. And most of all, i hate that those feelings are not enought o motivate me to stop doing it.

Working with my counsellor is ok. We've been all the way through my life and he agrees that there is no event from childhood that causes this. He thinks I'm a very open and experiencing person, who just has this one blip, and i agree. So now we're down to trying CBT And transactional analysis techniques. Clearly they are failing so far.

I just don't know what else to do. I'm sorry to bring everyone down. I just need to vent and feel safe doing so here.

Every morning i wake up and swear it will be different today, today will be the start. Sometimes, like yesterday, i make it through to dinner time before the demons get me. This morning, it was less than an hour after breakfast that it started.

I'm so tired of this.

cyn,, thanks for sharing...I too have digestive problems...

orange, you are safe, go ahead and vent. I pray you are able to overcome the urge to eat some more...

thanks to everyone for sharing ur experiences-i thouyht inwas alone with a binge problem until i joined 3fc-i been binge free for 10days now so im optimistic!usually if i get low blood sugars-type1 diabetes-i end up bingeing as im not in control in that state but i been handling blood sugars by havin energy drink with fruit or rice cakes and im sorted without gorging on food!it dont really help me that my boyf always eas junk food in front of me as he dont understand thT i have a problem with food,he says its all made up in my head and a binge prob dont really exist-i just ignore his comments now and justuse mind over matter and carry on-worst thing is he always tries to get me to eat junk food as he says i should just eat wat i want and i used to gige in,resulting in a binge and afterwards it makes me feel like he enjoys wattching me fail-does that make sense..?anyway in he past 10 days iv been losin pounds and inches so that has helped me stick to it so im determined now-reading ppls stories on here has helped so thanks everyone-good luck and keep goin!:-)

Little miss, I know a lot of women whose NSF are feeders. With my man, I just take one bite to make him happy. I see you are at a good weight. Don't let anything derail you.

Cyn - thanks for sharing.

I'm dealing with stomach issues too and never thought it could be related to binging. I'm actually on the verge of having to go to the hospital as i've been dealing with severe constipation and i've done everything possible. I have everything imaginable in my cupboard as this isn't something new...when i find something that work, it works for 2 weeks top and then stops working.....i did citromag on tuesday (which is used for purging before colon test) which did nothing but give me horrible stomach pain. I'm now taking Lactulose which is what the hospital had given me last time i went it from being so backed up (i even did the Golytely which is preparation for colonoscopy which didn't work). I normally take 2 xtrastrenght exlax on friday and can go mid-day saturday but last week it didn't work If i didn't take that, i would never go on my own. Diet wise, beside the binging/purging on week-ends, my diet is very good. I drink 3-4l water a day, have probiotics, eat 4-5cups veggies and lots of lettuce and protein and that's it. But even when i was heavy, i was still dealing with severe constipation.... beside the little bit i went this past saturday, i haven't gone since the saturday before.... getting very uncomfortable but mostly extremelly frustrated!

At least i'm using this as an excuse as to why my weight hasn't gone down this week, lol.

Hi new here I have been reading BOB for the last couple days.Nailed it to a tea for me. I am 61,I have struggled with my weight my whole life,discovered exercise at around 55,lost 50 lbs and over 2 yrs put 25 back on,this lays year I lost 30 hit below goal.My currant issue is I had back surgrey mid Dec. Instantly gain 5 lbs,which depressed me along with the " nothing but walking" for like 8 weeks.I started binging,and I am the type that does not do total purge just the severe beating myself up and restricting calories which snowballs. I binge healthier now and keep calories lower but still in the thousands and it adds up, and weight gain is rapid.anyways...2 days Free and mentally feeling better.

As for Busymoms post,I have been there and totally understand,have you seen a gastronoligist (sp) I finally saw one a few years back the colonoskapy the whole nine yards,on top of the binging you may have IBS-C and extra long intestines....
I to rarely go but take a medicine called Amitiza and miralax everyday..I at least don't feel sick and stuffed all the time. I still don't go often but feel much better when eating without the binges.

I'm still binging, but the quantities are reducing a bit. Trying to opt for 'healthier' foods. Its still a lot of calories, but maybe less overall damage.

Not wanting to place blame, but things are very stressful at the moment. I didn't get the job i interviewed for the other week, so now i have no income coming and am having to turn to the state for help. I doubt there is a more humiliating experience than that.

My permanent move is now on hold and that is gutting, but, I am going to stay with my partner over the weekend for a couple of weeks, while i have some job interviews up there. Will be quite a test to see how we can manage to live together while also dealing with work etc. So perhaps i just feel overwhelmed and out of control with all of that going on.

This weekend I will be reading BOB with a hope to get back on track.

I am really gratefully to you all for sharing your stories and being supportive.

ETA: My partner is also one who likes to have snacks and biscuits and cakes and will always offer me some, but doesn't push the issue if i say no. I lack willpower to say no. He lacks willpower not to offer it.

I feel for you and relate to what you are saying, "flinch and cringe when my partner touches me" I have posted about this many many times and have used the same description for myself. I flinched and swear I died a little inside every time my husbands hand brushed towards my waist, if he could even find it, or didn't realize that he really was caressing a spare tire and not a breast. :o I had never ever let my husband see me naked causally-I didn't (and still dont) undress or dress in front of him. I would be paranoid when we were first together that he would come into the bathroom while I was showering, or worse yet get in with me. I took a bath with him a few times after I started dropping weight but only if I could get in the tub first, there were tons of bubbles, only candles, and he had to get out of the tub and leave the room first.:dizzy: My husband knew to keep my body covered when we were intimate, lights off, etc. I never could relax and "enjoy" being intimate because with every single touch I had that voice running thru my head wondering what he was thinking and if he was repulsed by my body as much as I was.

Orange, I am usually very open about what is going on (here on the board) with me due to my binge eating. I have been a binge eater for over 25 years. I never knew anyone else that suffered with this eating disorder. I look back and think that somewhere during my life I had to of known someone else that suffered from binge eating because it was something I never shared with anyone. I remember having friends that were over weight like I was during teenage years, and after having my kids. But, all we ever talked about was the "dieting" part and being over weight.

I knew no one that ever said they were a binge eater. Yet, I think there really has to be more of us out of there because it would be alot easier to drop weight IF we were not secretly gorging ourselves in private. I have dieted what seems like my entire life, trying to change my body into something I am not ashamed of and changing myself into a better person. Instead, I've just screwed up myself physically and emotionally.

I am on day 31 or 32? of not binge eating. Longest time in years. I don't know how it happened, why it happened, because mentally nothing has changed. I still have the negative image and the lack of willpower. I have just been trying to watch what I eat, portion size, and listen to my stomach and eat when I am hungry so I am not starving.

I have had to limit what I eat-no sugar or flour, and really control the amount of fruit. I know that some people say it is not appropriate to limit any food groups, but I just can not do this any other way. If I eat one cookie I will eat a dozen-that's just it, one piece of cake and I'd eat the entire thing. The fruit, the sweetness, at times can cause an issue because I will eat it and praise myself over making a "good choice" then my sweet tooth is awake and I begin looking thru cupboards etc. I am eating even more vegetables than I did (and I already ate more than normal) leafy greens, salad, baby carrots and sugar peas, spinach (chopped finely) in my homemade turkey soup...I still know I can't eat a potato I don't have the willpower for that yet. This works for me. I have had greek yogurt with fruit but I really noticed this morning I have to watch it because I began thinking about eating something else sweeter after I had some for breakfast this morning.

I know somewhere on here a couple posts ago someone else was talking about bathroom issues, constipation. My Dr told me not to use "harsh" quick acting laxatives. Instead, she recommend taking an over the counter stool softener, one in the am and one in the pm every day. I have been. She also told me to begin taking a fiber supplement daily. I am using benifiber clear powder. I add two teaspoons (actually measuring teaspoons) of benifiber to a tall glass of water each morning and night. I stir it in, and drink it down with my vitamins. Its working. No more pain no more heaviness feeling constantly etc. I am wondering if the extra fiber is also helping me not feel hungry as often?

I haven't read anymore of Brain over Binge, or the other 3 binge eating books I picked up at the library. I am confused really over what is working, since Im not doing anything differently this time compared to the other times I tried to control my binge eating. I am trying not to overwhelm myself right now with info and obsess over things. I will see the dr again in 3 weeks. My goal is to be able to go that long with out binge eating.