Binge Free and Over Eating in January
 

I didn't see a thread for the new month, or new year, so started one.


I am back to the very beginning again, one day. I am sure I am not the only one that is in need of this thread. I do well if I come here daily and check in, I know I will not do as well if I don't. So, why do I hide? I feel ashamed and embarrassed when I binge and just can't bring myself to come to the thread during the binging, yet being here is just what I need, before the binge begins, and maybe during it to help stop.

The book Brain over Binge has been recommended several times and I have downloaded a sample of it from Amazon. I am going to attempt reading it, and might look at the library for the full book if they have it and if I find some answers in it.

Once again, I am reminded that vacation is a horrible time for me. I can't handle all the events in the house, all the people, all the stress from the kids, and no way to escape. Eating is that escape. Its a comfort and a curse. I can make myself feel better for a brief moment and then the guilt piles on making things worse.

I have never had a period of binging so bad as this Christmas vacation. I am escalating and becoming for daring with the binge, eating foods out in open at times, leaving evidence in my car, half eaten bag of potato chips. I am becoming lazy and I feel at times like i want to be caught and want my husband to understand just how bad this habit is-that it is not easy to stop and is a disease.

I totally understand. I've tried to tell my husband and friends that it's not easy for me. I can't just have one chip and put down the bag. They don't understand that I can't stop, even when I want to. Food is my escape from stress, too. :(

I've had a really bad few months with bingeing and weight gain. It seems like this winter is hitting me harder than normal. Starting today, I am back on the wagon. I'm sure I'll slip up and binge, but I need to learn how to pick myself up and move forward.

I understand what your saying about needing to gain control. In the course of three weeks Ive gained 15lbs. Ive been binging constantly with no control, getting reckless and crashed in a ball of fire after falling off the tracks it was more than falling off the wagon. The sad thing is that each binge just gets bigger and bigger, last longer, and causes more damage. I don't know what made me go down this path, what made my ocassional over eating into a huge addiction of binging but I wish I could go back. I Hate myself and what ive become, disgusting, horrible, I don't know if I'm ever going to over come this.

I'm with y'all. It's been a few days for me but since it's a new year it feels like day 1. It feels good to be in control so I'm hoping it lasts. I'm tired of winter and bing eating and all of it.

Mainecyn: I absolutely know how it feels to have bigger and bigger binges. I started leaving things out, too, before I stopped binging at the end of November. I really wanted my husband to start questioning me about my behavior. My husband said to me that it seemed my eating situation was darkest before the dawn. I pray that it goes similarly for you, too.

YOU are NOT disgusting and horrible; although, I know why you say so. It was hard for me to not believe that I was disgusting and horrible when I would go digging through the outside garbage for parts of binges I had previously thrown out in a desperate effort to STOP EATING. In high school, I would dig through the garbage cans IN THE HALLS to find sweets that non-addicted eaters had thrown out. I'm serious. As embarrassing as that is to reveal, I just really want you to know that I empathize with you and hope you will continue to come here (even during a binge, as you say) to share what's going on for you.

:hug:

Take care of yourself.

J.

Mainecyn-You are not alone! There are a lot of us out there. I actually gained about 15 pounds in the last couple of months and it hasn't been pretty. I had a really terrible binge on 12/28 and kinda/sorta overate yesterday. However, the binges have been becoming further apart. Once you can start getting a few days under your belt you'll slip less. Just think of these slips as aftershocks! I've decided to log everything in MFP, even when I'm "bad." This way it tempts me to binge less and I also don't want to see all the crap that I ate! Do you have time to exercise? I got a FitBit for Christmas. I've found that if I at least get 10,000 steps in I don't feel as bad if I don't make it to the gym. It's also a motivator to take detours often!

Good luck to you. Remember, this too shall pass.

Allisgirl
 

Wow I have not seen this thread and it feels so good to read that other people are having the same problem. With my vaca in Nov and the all the baking and Christmas I have gained 12 lbs. Yesterday I decided this was it I was going to get back on my Ideal Protein I get up get on my elliptical wear off 350 calories did great until 3:30 then all H broke loose I ate Carmel's, bowl cereal, chips crazy!! This has been a real hard time in Iow weather is very cold do not feel like going outside and my husband has had to travel a lot so I have been home alone a lot which I am not used to so I get bored and maybe a little depresses and turn to food.

Anyway thanks for this thread it has made me feel better reading other struggles and hope by sharing mine we can support each other.

The holidays are always tough. I'm surprised how well I did though. I haven't been in a baking mood at all this winter break, and because of it, there were very few vegan desserts for me.
I had a minor binge about a week ago, but nothing serious. Today is Day 6. I had a good breakfast and an early lunch after an hour of shoveling snow which made me hungry! I'm still a little bit hungry, but I think I'll wait until I digest my soup and bread before I snack on some pineapple or persimmon.
It's so tough being home all the time, only going out to workout and walk my dog. I've been doing so well with not binging to pass the time though! :)

Laceyj; thank you for responding. I am currently on day 3 of non binge type behavior, and not over eating. I know the longest I went was her on this thread, lasted around 20 days. I was feeling strong and did very well, then don't know what happened, what I did. I had even tried studying myself while I was binge free to really learn what triggers them and what helps with control. Nothing. My issue seems to be that when a binge starts the actually binge gets longer and longer..I will eat for days and days..over vacation i suffered from that by having a great deal of physical discomfort.I had gone 20 plus days binge free then I binged, and for 9 days I did nothing but eat over and over binging each day and eating from morning till night. I am noticing as well that I am gaining and not able to drop the pounds I've gained from the previous binge before I binge again and gain more weight..its getting dangerous.

I seem to live in a world where no one really understands the binge eating, that it isn't normal. I often think if I was bulimic, actually vomiting instead of just binge eating, someone might understand. There have been several times when I've tried to explain it to my husband, the addictive and not in control part, he doesn't get it, no matter what. I often just get the same line from my husband about me being a strong person and I'll stop OVEREATING when I want to.:dizzy:

I have been there, I have dug things out of the trash after changing my mind. I often thru things away, hoping it would help, or buying things I don't like as much, I still would either dig it out of the trash, or go buy something. I also have a draw full of candy that I say I am saving for the kids..its a precaution, that drawer where I open it and just look at whats in there and promise myself that this candy isn't in this drawer for me, but its a security blanket in case a binge hits. Unfort. I often binge on candy, chocolate, etc. I had to buy stocking stuffers twice this Christmas as I at every piece of candy I had bought (we are talking bags here) for all 5 kids and my husband.

I'm doing ok today. I just keep trying to tell myself that before I know it I will get a full week behind me. I am eating a great deal of protien, really focusing on that right now trying to break whatever it is inside me that turns on that binge switch.

I lasted for about 6 days on my binge free/weight loss plan and it went downhill fast.
Oh well can't give up entirely, gonna try again one of these days coming up.

Though the entire time I was consumed with thoughts of food or next meal.
It's like either binging/overeating or not everything revolves around food.

I don't have anything special to report today, except for the fact that Kathryn Hansen, the author of Brain Over Binge, posted my story about using her technique to her blog: you can read it here, under "Tips for Beginners...Continued (Inspirational Testimony)". I think the technique I describe would be useful not just for binge eaters, but for anyone who struggles with cravings and urges to overeat. Enjoy!

I'm so glad I stumbled on this thread tonight! Everything you all have said is exactly what I have been going thru and it's time to get it under control for me. I binge at night after everyone is asleep. It's progressed so bad that 2 days ago I drove to Taco Bell in the middle of the night while everyone was asleep and no one even knew I was gone :(
I can relate to the feeling disgusting and ugly. I relate to not being able to eat 1 chip instead of eating the whole bag. I feel as tho I have spiraled and should be able to control my eating, but I can't. I feel like I let everyone down being this fat, my husband, myself, and most of all my 2 young girls who see everything I do. I don't want them to become me someday. That was my awakening point as I ate my 2 bags of tacos the other night. I have to learn to control this so I don't "give" it to my daughters.
I'm all in for this month in not binge eating or over eating. I'm going to check in here every night until you're all annoyed with me, but this will be my motivation. This is day 1 of not eating in the night :)

Just got back from a holiday out of town and am pretty happy to note that I haven't gained any weight. On the downside, I've been stuck at the same weight for months now. But the new year has started, and along with that came a new burst of motivation, so here's hoping this month (and year) will be a good one.

I just started reading Brain over Binge yesterday and it is so interesting and it makes such sense. Thank you Fiona for telling me about this book.

Hi, new to this thread but not to 3FC. I had to delete my old user account due to a hacking issue. Anyway, I totally struggle with night binging. Last night was a real struggle, but I stayed in bed and went to sleep. It didn't help that I think I was legitimately hungry, so I *almost* got up to have something but I knew it would not just be a banana.

What's helping, I think, is having a green smoothie around 11. It really keeps me satiated for a long time and then I eat one large meal for an early dinner, instead of one lunch and one dinner. It seems like this is exactly the wrong thing for someone who binges at night, but it seems to be working!

I also wrote down my goals for the year and binging & overeating simply don't fit into them.

I did good last night, and so far tonight. Fingers crossed for the next 8 hours though (getting nervous thinking about it)

I did better yesterday than today, probably due to the fact that I was out of the house and busy. I haven't binged, but I've eaten more than I had been and I'm not hungry.:( I could feel it sneaking up on me last night, i can't explain the feeling but it was coming. Generally, I ignored it most of last night but this morning and afternoon it was harder to. I started off eating what was purely allowed, and by late afternoon was crossing over into some questionable stuff that I generally don't eat but found myself wanting too. I was bored with the choices I had and also that binging feeling is coming. I'm frustrated, bored, upset, anxious, and just don't know whats gonna happen next. At least Monday is here soon and it means I will be gone back to work so not here at home with thoughts of eating things to deal with stress or when I'm upset or angry.

How about a walk in the snow mainecyn? I'm assuming since you're in Wyoming there's now :). If I get out of the house even to take a walk the temptation subsides for a bit

I did good last night. I'm about to get in bed and hopefully I stay put! We can do this!

Did well today. I'm finding more and more that it's easier to just skip a meal and then have a big dinner (that's what I did today) because even if I'm really hungry by dinner time, if I eat slowly then I don't overeat. I don't know if this is healthy or not though. I'm finding it tougher and tougher to manage my portions if I'm having 2 or 3 meals per day.

I came really close to binging tonight. My work schedule got messed up, so I'd planned out my day to be at work from 4-7. Instead, I was home. So, the big meal I ate at 2:30 was not going to cut it for the whole night. I didn't want to make a whole dinner, so I had a little snack of a few crackers. Bad idea! The kitchen is supposed to be closed!

I made the executive decision to eat something healthy but high in fat to satisfy my hunger and keep me feeling full. I ate a whole avocado with balsamic vinegar. 280 calories. And, now, I feel great. Disaster averted.

I survived last night! That's 3 nights down and counting of not binging. I thought that paired with burning 550 cals each day at the gym my number on the scale would of moved but it didn't :(
Tonight hopefully I can get right to sleep and not enter the kitchen at all. I'm locked and loaded with a giant glass of water to drink to keep me feeling full.

Did well today, but it's 3 am and I'm fighting to avoid a binge right now. I ate lunch and dinner like normal, but I feel like eating something really badly, and I know I shouldn't. I can't sleep either, which makes it worse. I'm just posting here in an effort to alleviate the urge.

I'm stuggling on day 7 of not binging.how do I change this weight tracker?i can't figure it out

Okay, I'm back. Holiday distractions, yada yada.

My issue is overeating. Today, I've done really well, except I ate some French fries when I wasn't really hungry. I think I actually stopped being hungry about three fries in, after I had an In-n-Out double-double protein-style. But I kept mindlessly eating. And I even noticed the fries were cold and no longer felt good in my mouth. Ick. Why did I do that?!!

I did it because I mentally checked out of my meal experience. I was edgy. Someone was talking to me and I was really done listening to him, but he kept going on and on. And he wouldn't leave! So I ate fries. Hmmm.

While not a great deal of snow the last couple of days, there is extreme cold. We have been in the negative degrees temperature wise for a long time this summer. I don't do well with exercise in the winter, spring, summer, and fall, I like to walk. I tried to keep busy and get my mind off the wanting to binge. I did well, I ate, but didn't binge. I keep saying I need to find a winter exercise to do that I physically can do, but I'm one of those that hate exercise and always push the idea back.

I am doing ok these past few days. I haven't binged, broken "diet" but I have noticed night time wanting to eat, snack. I need to find something late at night to eat, acceptable. I honestly am wondering if I am not eating enough fat or protien at dinner time and that is why I find the need to eat something at 9 pm or later.

Last night I got up and wandered thru the kitchen, looking and trying to find something to eat. I was hungry but not overly hungry, just enough that I knew I'd be thinking about eating all night. I am going to try to eat more at dinner tonight and see how I do. I just am not hungry from lunch time till dinner. I find myself not eating much at all during the day while I work, and after preparing dinner I don't always want to sit down and eat what I make :(

Tonight, we are having hickory smoked turkey breast. I will have salad with it, plenty of Cesar salad dressing, some crumbled bacon, and I will also find a veggie to have with some butter for fat. I haven't really been paying attention to the amounts of protien or fat I'm eating and admit that its probably part of my problem. I will eat something, small salad with a bit of protien, feel neither full or hungry, then later on I get hungry and have cravings.

Emotionally, not good or bad. I've been busy and while I stay busy I do seem to do well and productive. However, I've noticed that I do have moments of ups and down emotionally at the oddest times...I can have doubts, or worries, creep in and then have a gloomly feeling come over me and other times I am ok. It happened today. I was great all thru work this morning and afternoon..I came home for lunch time and have spent it preparing everything for dinner tonight, doing dishes, vacuuming, and cleaning in general.

I was doing really well and feeling good, then I had an anxious or sad type feeling in the pit of my stomach come over me..like a disgusted feeling or "bad taste" in the mouth. I suddenly found myself thinking of bills and expenses, and then my mind wondered to my own personal feelings of inadequacy towards myself as a person, and then towards work as well. I dont 'know why i do it but I know it is related to why I binge. Does it make sense> anyone else go thru something like this?

I took my son to the dr again yesterday. My youngest is always prone to being sick, born that way and has stayed that way. His ear dr decided that he will have a new set of tubes placed in his ears next Wed. I am hoping that it finally will have Zak well, and not miss more days of school. I am battling the school over absences and stress dealing with teachers, worrying about my sons grades, etc.

I have things I want done here at home. I have a bathroom shelving unit I purchased two weeks ago. My son put one of them together for the kids bathroom, the other I bought for my bathroom is still sitting in the living room in the box. I keep hoping my husband will put it together and he hasn't..it started me down the line of should I ask him or not..then the other things I have wanted to ask him to do and haven't also ran thru my head...and I felt bad again. Its like I cant ask or expect him to do things without feeling bad. I want that shelf put together, I want the bathroom fan in the kids room fixed, and a few other things...he doesn't do them and isn't going to anytime soon-its been years.

mainecyn, congratulations on your 8 days binge free! The more days you accumulate, the easier it gets...

By the way, y'all, I wrote a letter to Kathryn Hansen that she posted on her Brain Over Binge blog. Check it out: you may well find it helpful. =smile=

Mainecyn, I think you should gently ask your husband to assemble the bathroom shelving unit and fix the fan! He probably doesn't realize how much you want those things to be taken care of and would hopefully want to do it if he knows. Also, good job on 8 days binge free, how have the past couple of days been? :)

I've been gone from the thread for a while. Ended up enjoying Christmas food a little more than I'd intended (both in amount and how many days, it's tough when you have visitors!), but didn't do badly and am down 6 pounds since a month ago. Kind of relieved that there won't be anymore holidays until Valentine's Day and then my and my husband's birthdays 2 weeks later. Suppose I could have lost more weight the last month, but I'm happy with how things worked out. I really, really enjoyed Christmas. My goal is for my current way of eating to be long term and sustainable so I don't get burned out, and I think it's going well so far.

Tiny victory- on Monday, I was in a hurry and did not get any food before work. Got out of work at 3:30 and was very hungry and thirsty and knew it would be about an hour and a half before I got home. Decided to get a bottle of water from Subway. When I got in there, I felt even hungrier than before. Instead of getting a sub (I LOVE sandwiches), I got a salad with my water. It was really good, too! Lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, bell pepper, olives, peperoncinis, a little shredded cheese, tuna, and their chipotle southwest sauce. Basically, my favorite sub without the bread and with spinach added.

After 10 days of not binging at night, I fell off last night and I think I consumed about 800 calories :(
But today is a new day and after reading the posts on here from the weekend, I am not going to beat myself up. I am going to the gym for the 12 in a row today and getting back on the horse to kick my arse and put last night behind me. And I will not cry even tho I want to because I'm so disappointed.

Things have not gone well. I have been eating everything I shouldn't, even planning it before i get out of bed. I also noticed that yesterday I actually ate things I shouldn't at my sons bday, no one said anything no one asked anything. I have been over eating so much but didn't over eat in public. I think it honestly was a cry for help, have someone ask something, say something, know that something is wrong...nothing.

I am trying to figure out how to do this, how to control this, and how it has become so bad..so life altering. I know I went downhill after falling off intermittent fasting..I wouldn't eat all day and then would eat at 5 pm...After I stopped doing that it has become uncontrollable...the binging. Im not hungry, my stomach says nothing and I don't need to eat but I am stuffing a bag of chips in, or eating cheesecake for breakfast. I don't know.

I am at day one again of trying to control what I am eating...who knows. I have been very busy at work this week, lots of stress, and I also haven't been online much because i haven't had time or haven't made time. I know I do better when I visit her, I control my eating, less likely to binge. I have cut myself off from a bunch of online friends, find that I also would rather not be around anyone...everyone gets on my nerves or even visiting is a chore. I don't know whats wrong with me..but its all tied together these symptoms and the binge eating.

Mainecyn I've done the same thing last winter. Sometimes I find that just not really trying to do anything helps, and over time a calamity comes to me and it feels easier to be "back to normal" again. Depending on how I feel, no habit that I try to incorporate sticks, and sometimes I just need to look at it like a cloudy period that passes. This thought sadly never stuck with me (I was so hard on myself), but I hope that it does for you - that we all care for you and are here for you and value you no matter what you do or don't eat!

I've done good tonight and am currently laying in bed. As long as I can keep myself glued here I should be good to go for the night. But it's a long 8 hrs especially when insomnia hits

I'm doing this stupid thing at the moment, which is sabotaging my own attempts at weight loss.

After being stuck around 210 for weeks and weeks, last week I had a little whoosh and went down to 205/206. But every time I see the scale moving down, I tend to get overconfident that 'this time my efforts are paying off', and suddenly decide to go eat. Yesterday I was 205, the lowest I remember myself being since I started. This morning when I woke up, I told myself to just go have an egg, but instead I had some fried snacks. I know just one cheat isn't the end of the world, but I always do this, and I'm posting here in an attempt to get myself to really wake up and stop being so silly about it. I just really want to get out of the 200s in the next few weeks, but if I binge every time I lose a few lbs, that's never going to happen.

Hey all,

I just wanted to check in and say that I haven't binged since Saturday. :3 I'm not quite sure who recommended it, but I've been reading Brain Over Binge and it's a game changer. Thanks for your support.

It is exactly what you are describing, no matter what habit I try to stick to to help me cope with this fails. The back to normal periods are getting less and less, day or two, with the binging lasting weeks. Its never been so bad, been so self defeating. I always find myself saying I want to stop eating, stop binging, yet it continues. That defines "helplessness" or "addition" in my book. I have told myself many many times that I am someone who suffers from binge eating but haven't really addressed the addiction part that directly. I am wondering if facing the binging as an addiction makes it any easier, less emotional, easier to handle. I don't know. I am wondering if anyone has had any success ever, if you can beat this.

Im so tired. I just don't know how to handle things..It seems everything makes me binge, happy, sad, lonely, happy, nervous, anxious, bored..there is emotional reaction that can't make it happen..then there are also the times when I am in a normal emotional sense and I find myself thinking of binging, planning it, buying food to binge on, and looking forward to it an "itchy" feeling that needs to be scratched, or a pressure that needs to be released..doesn't matter what you call it, it happens.

Today is day 2 again of eating correctly and trying to remain focus. I wish I could tell myself during times of binging or thinking of binging, stop, remember how you feel, remember your promises, anything that could stop if...yet I've tried all of these and it doesn't stop me.

I have a board meeting tonight an hour or so after work today. My son has surgery tomorrow, and I am busy trying to pay bills. I finished a project at work this week that did help with some of my stress level..just keep going. If I can get thru today, I can face tomorrow, right?

I do think about everyone here and know I'm not alone, but I've found it difficult to make myself get back on line and check in, to post, to get support..I went from being ok, to hiding..that alone feeling.

I hope everyone has an easier day today and lets try to get thru it.:hug:

Hi everyone. Hoping I can just join this thread. The last time I binged was Tuesday the 14th. Sometimes I let my stress take over me and eat away my emotions.

I subscribe to a positive-themed mailing list type thing, and the woman who made it actually struggles with overeating. She recommended a book she found helped with those struggling. It's called "Women, Food, and God" by Geneen Roth. I checked it out from the library. So far, it has helped me. I didn't binge last night, and I am feeling okay today. Obviously it's too early to tell. Maybe it's something you guys want to check out.

@Locke Brain over Binge sounds like another great book.

@mainecyn My heart goes out to you. Maybe read the book I suggested or the one Locke did.

Hi Arzu1991! Lots of good information and support here. :)

Hi, I hope its ok for me to join in the thread. I'd really like a place where i can keep track of how many days I go without binging and somewhere to turn when i struggle. The support and encouragement and even being called out on excuses and held accountable on this forum is great.

I've been reading the thread for a while but only just got the courage to register and join in. I'm currently reading the Brain over Binge book and finding it really useful.

So i'm only 2 days binge/over eating free but hoping for many more.

Bluh. It's been a kind of rough few days, for some reason none of the things that are fine for me to eat sound appealing, I want CARBS. Popcorn, pizza, pasta, at the moment sweet and sour chicken. I've managed to refrain, but it's no fun to eat only things that don't appeal to you :( Fruit and raw veggies (not cooked, ugh) are the only acceptable things that sound good, but the only fresh fruit we have right now is apples and I finished the last tomato yesterday. Tomorrow we'll be going to the store and loading up on produce. Regardless, I really hope this grip that carb laden foods currently has on me will lift soon! I'm now almost 3 months into this new way of eating and it's gone pretty well, but seriously, the past few days have been the hardest. I really hope it will pass soon and isn't indicative of things to come!

Hopeless
 

I have joined slimming world and know what I have to do. It is my third week so far just lost 1 and a half pounds. I do great during the day and then in the evening I fall totally off the wagon. Three candies put me right over the top and the other evening 2 pitta pockets added my daily syns to 23!!!! Please someone help me to stop doing this!:?: