Binge Free and Overeating Free in December

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  • Quote: Hi. I'm new to the thread, but I've been lurking for a while, and I want to say that I admire you all and can relate to your struggles with bingeing and the urge to binge.
    Welcome, Valkyrie1!

    I'm new, too.

    **************
    I've been doing well. I haven't binged since November 24th; I've overeaten, but not binged. Most of the overeating was done on and around Thanksgiving, too. Identifying what my trigger foods are has REALLY helped me. I had myself on a very low carb plan until I, too, started feeling depressed and downright achy. I know some detoxing is to be expected, but I felt lousy and weak. I can't afford those physical problems with three kids to homeschool! After adding back in some safe (non-trigger) carbs, I began to feel better within 48 hours.

    Hoping everyone continues strong through the holiday season.

    Blessings,
    J.
  • Quote: Its no different than a drug addict digging thru the trash to find some they threw away, I've done it myself for food I tossed and then changed my mind.
    Mainecyn: I've done this many times...and not just from the garbage inside the house, if you catch my drift.

    Hoping you are able to get settled in, again.

    J.
  • Okay, I have to admit that I don't think I've ever actually binged? Overeaten for sure. But I've never eaten an entire package of anything or a whole (or half) a pizza or half a pie or anything. I've polished off an entire box of Cheez Its or Triscuits in a couple of days a few times, had 2 sandwiches instead of one, or 2 Hot Pockets, 3 little frozen burritos, or a whole 21 oz thing of frozen mac and cheese. Once in middle school I had 4 donuts in one sitting. I definitely used to overeat, specifically carb rich things, but I'm really not sure if it counted as binging.
  • hi guys, i've been doing great the past two weeks and i even managed to lose some pounds...probably water weight. but yesterday i returned home from uni and i'll be staying here for 3 weeks and today is my mom's birthday party where all my family is going to be and i feel a little embarassed because i gained some weight when my sister who gave birth 6 months ago lost so much weight so fast. when i saw her yesterday i was amazed and she was overweight all of her life. i do feel happy for her but i'm so dissapointed in me. i have a goal not to gain anymore during the holidays and start losing after i get back to uni but my mom is cooking like crazy everytime i return home and it's really hard to resist.
    i wish you loads of willpower to resist for the rest of the month!!!
  • I don't remember posting in here or not. Anyway...

    I'm not new.. I've been a in and out weight loss person for awhile now. It's always i'm going to start now.. Then after a couple weeks I'm back to my same habits of overeating/binging at night.

    So far I've done pretty good. Been 13 days I believe. Not a straight 13... I went 10 days straight then had a bit of a break down one night and overate. then back on the horse the next time and it's been 3 days so far. I'm trying pretty hard here. So far tonight i've done good.

    Anyway thank you all for reading my posts. lol.. I needed somewhere to get my feelings out since I cant talk to my family (none of them are binge eaters/overweight).
  • Uggh, I have not been doing well lately.
    I'm so sick of constantly disappointing myself. I'm always so good for most of the day until after dinner hits, I guess I just need to keep myself busy/out of the house.

    Well, today I have work from 8 to 1, and after that I have two more finals to finish and then I'm done. Today will be my first Day 1 in a while.
  • Oooooo I had a really close call last night on the emotional eating front, but I managed to squeak through with my streak intact. What happened was, my husband Bob and I were talking as we were getting ready to go to bed, and something I was saying about how moderate exercise elevates one's mood got Bob all defensive (because his agoraphobia has him housebound these days) and he more or less bit my head off. Normally I would have protested and we'd have had a chance to clear the air, but right after Bob's outburst, he put his head on the pillow and promptly fell asleep! I mean, one second he was making me feel terrible, and the next second he was snoring.

    So I went downstairs all in a storm of feeling treated unjustly (which, I should add, Bob rarely does). I was irritable anyway from my incipient virus, so I was really mad. Anger, I have discovered in the past few months, is my biggest trigger for having an episode of emotional/compulsive/binge-type eating. And it's especially dangerous for me to get angry on a Friday or a Saturday night, when our local Starbucks drive-through window is open all night long. Even though it was like 2 o'clock in the morning, I could very easily have popped in my car and gone and binged on those big Starbucks oatmeal raisin cookies I love so much, with a vente-size caramel macchiato to boot! I swear, y'all, my right hand had already picked up the car keys before I caught myself. =whew=

    So what I did first was to practice Kathryn Hansen's Brain Over Binge technique of separating yourself from the urge to overeat, where you view the urge as what she calls "neurological junk" from a lower part of your brain that you, the person in charge, choose to ignore—not fight, just ignore. That got my head considerably clearer and allowed me to put the car keys down.

    And then I quietly and deliberately fixed myself a small serving (1/2 cup) of muesli. This may sound silly, but it was like that little bit of carbs served as an escape valve for my overheated brain. I ate the muesli slowly, concentrating on every bite, then went to bed.

    Now I'm not counting that small serving of muesli as emotional eating: rather it was an emergency measure to help prevent emotional eating.

    So that's my scary tale of rage running amok... =laugh=
  • I've done ok over the weekend. I haven't felt strong, but I have made it. I am already worried about Christmas vacation and being home. I thought about tasting cookies this morning as I was baking them, almost convinced myself, then pulled away. If I can just keep at least that much self control.

    I've been wrapping presents since this afternoon. I've got it all done. That is something in its self right there. My son got the tree up, now we have to string the lights, and actually hang stuff on it. Only issue, there just isn't much room at all left to move around in the living room now. We have a new sofa and an extra chair since last year. It makes it even more difficult in a small area with trying to install a tree in there as well.

    I kept busy so there really wasn't much eating or thinking of eating. I should tell mysef that I even baked "goodies" and didn't try a single one. The are for my husband's party at work tomorrow.

    I am still feeling such guilt over ruining how well I had been doing. I mean I had been about 25 days binge free and I can't even remember completely what sparked it, it always does..so how do I prevent it? I haven't relost the weight I regained, I can see it in the waist band of my underwear-tighter in the hips or rolls down, and the top has a bit coming over it again. grrrr.
  • Ok, it looks like I've made it a full week again. Thank goodness. I've got a little better control today, its day 8. I have been keeping myself as busy as I can it does help.

    I look at everyone here in the thread and realize that we all have so many challenges in our daily lives, so many expectations from other people as who we are and what we do for them.

    I don't feel like I "own" myself, does that make sense? Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, and x wife (unfortunately you get dragged in to deal with them at times), an employee, a supervisor, the bill payer of the family making sure all bills are paid on time and where they need to go, the grocery getter, the laundry, the dishes, the meals, ...so many different things. I don't see me, I don't' know what i like or dislike anymore, in all honesty, EXCEPT FOR WHAT I EAT. This is all I do know..

    I am expected to make more than 100% of myself and my time available for everyone in the family, I don't ask for anything for anyone yet I am the one who hears, if you get a chance can you do this, or why is my this or that...I'm empty, I'm in the negative. Nothing ever fills me.
  • Well, one more day just about done. I have kept extremely busy during my break from work. I had to take the oldest to the orthodontist this morning. Before that, grocery store, been home on break and have spent it doing dishes, tackling laundry, vacuuming, and doing everything I can not to think about eating what I shouldn't.

    I hope everyone is doing ok, its very quite around here lately, but I am assuming we are all very very busy with things going on.
  • I've been doing ok. I have ongoing trouble with my health, so when I have little incidents, I panic and this is what triggers binges for me. Yesterday, I had such an issue, but instead of running to my drug of choice, a Reese's binge, I had two pieces of 85% cacao chocolate and a decaf cup of coffee with half and half and stevia. This seemed to work. I continued to want to binge after an on plan dinner, so I had an apple with plenty of natural peanut butter and milk. This may seem like a lot of food, but at least it's wholesome and not as calorie dense as a Reese's binge.

    Since I've stopped binging, all of the feelings I've been medicating for 30 years are coming to the surface, demanding to be dealt with. It is somewhat scary. I'm realizing just how much anger I have had inside. At least it's coming out now. I have a very supportive husband who will listen (in short sessions) to my discoveries.

    Hang in there Mainecyn.
  • Quote: I don't feel like I "own" myself, does that make sense? Anyone else know what I'm talking about? I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, and x wife (unfortunately you get dragged in to deal with them at times), an employee, a supervisor, the bill payer of the family making sure all bills are paid on time and where they need to go, the grocery getter, the laundry, the dishes, the meals, ...so many different things. I don't see me, I don't' know what i like or dislike anymore, in all honesty, EXCEPT FOR WHAT I EAT. This is all I do know..

    I am expected to make more than 100% of myself and my time available for everyone in the family, I don't ask for anything for anyone yet I am the one who hears, if you get a chance can you do this, or why is my this or that...I'm empty, I'm in the negative. Nothing ever fills me.
    I know what you're talking about. Many years ago when I read Susie Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue for the first time, I learned that it's very common for fat women to be in the position of give, give, give to all the people in their lives, and to not be able to give to themselves—except for what they eat. It becomes such a strong pattern in their (our) lives that they (we) do not know how to fill themselves (ourselves) emotionally.

    And it's very sad, what you say about being empty, in the negative. I used to be a lot like that myself, but I'm retired now, and I'm much better at giving to myself than I used to be. That's why right now, even as we speak, I am giving myself two huge gifts: (1) weight loss and lifestyle changes, leading to a much healthier and more comfortable body, and (2) becoming free of emotional/binge-type eating, leading to a much healthier and more comfortable mind. I'm 58, and I'm looking forward a lot to my 60s. I want them to be terrific years for just being me. So that's why I'm working so hard on these issues now, so I'll be in a whole new place by my 60th birthday.

    I hope so much for you that you can learn how to fill yourself. What would you give yourself if you could have anything you wanted? What do you most desire? I don't mean like material goods, I mean like food for the soul. What would nourish you on the inside?
  • Quote: Since I've stopped binging, all of the feelings I've been medicating for 30 years are coming to the surface, demanding to be dealt with. It is somewhat scary. I'm realizing just how much anger I have had inside. At least it's coming out now.
    Oh man, that is exactly what's been happening to me: anger, anger, and more anger. I don't binge when I'm bored or lonely or depressed, but I do binge when I'm angry. This project of trying to go 30 days (now on Day 26) without a binge has really taken the lid off a box full of rage inside of me.

    But I'm learning that while it's scary, it's not going to burn my house down, it's not going to destroy my marriage (I have a really supportive husband, too), it's just a feeling and it's OK to be with that feeling for a while. I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths, and meditating is helpful, too—those mindfulness skills where you just observe the emotion (and the urge to binge) but you don't interact with it. You don't try to stuff it away, you don't fight it, you just watch it unfold and then slowly fade away. =whew=

    Do you know what I'm talking about? What is it like for you, to let that anger hang out instead of binging it away?
  • Quote: Do you know what I'm talking about? What is it like for you, to let that anger hang out instead of binging it away?
    It is downright scary for me to think what these emotions have been doing to my psyche all these years. I literally DID NOT KNOW the anger was going on. I had become so efficient at self-medicating with food that I rarely felt anger. I knew that I was frustrated with certain aspects/people, but I had NO idea that I was enraged!

    When the anger surfaces, I go through a process of: anger - shock - sadness - firm boundary setting/plan of action - release. It seems that as long as I'm able to come up with a way to be proactive about dealing with the issue/person, then the anger automatically goes away. Sometimes I'll get the same issue a few times in a row. I'll go through the same process until my brain gets the point that "we have a plan."

    This seems to be working for now, but I've only been binge-free since November 24th.

    How are you dealing with it?

    Here's to supportive husbands. (poor guys)

    J.
  • Quote: I know what you're talking about. Many years ago when I read Susie Orbach's Fat is a Feminist Issue for the first time, I learned that it's very common for fat women to be in the position of give, give, give to all the people in their lives, and to not be able to give to themselves—except for what they eat. It becomes such a strong pattern in their (our) lives that they (we) do not know how to fill themselves (ourselves) emotionally.
    I think I read something similar to that or the same thing awhile ago - and that binging was something that we could do for ourselves without hurting anyone else. It wouldn't....inconvenience anybody (I say this with bitterness!).

    I was always angry with my narcissist family and did not know it. I wasn't actually angry about my awful job - I was angry because I was OK with being mistreated because I thought that that was just what I deserved cause the stars aligned the way they did when I was born. I rarely speak to family now which has given me mental clarification - and anger. Precious deliberate not-roundabout anger. Now I feel it and it feels great. I no longer blame myself for feeling upset - which is something that happened often as my family would tell me how I "actually feel and how I actually SHOULD feel" making me question my instincts. Now I realize that I was annoyed with them because I should be annoyed with them. Since having a job and hardly talking to them, I hardly even have the SAD I thought I had.

    I think of this sometimes - “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by a$$holes.”


    ― Steven Winterburn