Day 22. I am more in control today than the past couple days. Thought id even lost little weight when stepped on scale read 169 then I thought about a donut and it went back to 170. But, ive stopped the gain the binges were killing my weight.
Arnotts: Congrats on being so close to goal! Tough spot you've found yourself in, and I almost don't want to give advice because each of us have to do what works for us individually. But I do know that for me, going very low calorie (as a way to get to the goal number faster) inevitably leads to binges, which are always more detrimental to weight loss than eating a steady higher calorie daily diet.
It was a tough lesson for me. I remember being so proud of my awesome super low calorie days because they somehow made me feel powerful and in control and I'd always make excuses for them to rationalize why I'd only had 600 calories that day (but inside I was secretly pleased because I wanted to lose faster). They always came back to bite me in the butt. Always. And yet I repeated that pattern alot through my 30s.
Mainecyn, so sorry to hear work is getting so bad! It must be incredibly frustrating.
Momwithdogs, this is such a nice thread and I hope reading here makes you feel good!
Love4allsizes, welcome to the thread The people in here are very nice!
Mrs Snark, how bad is it to have lower calorie days? According to My Fitness Pal, most of my days are working out to about 800 calories. I'm not trying to limit myself, it's just how things are adding up. Don't want to cause any problems for myself! Once I add exercising to my day, I'll probably be eating more. Haven't added exercising yet because the health issues that led me to revising my eating habits and trying to lose weight caused me to lose a lot of blood and I became very anemic and weak. Happily though my energy is returning now that my body's not losing blood all the time!
So I had my doctor's appointment on Tuesday and I was really surprised to find out I lost 14 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks. Was 220, now 206. I was hoping for a 5 pound loss so was really surprised, but pleased. My next doctor's visit won't be until January and my plan was to weigh myself at the doctor's office only, but I'm not sure if I really want to wait 6 weeks for my next weigh in. Might do it here at home in 3 weeks or a month. Got a ticker of my very own and decided to do bunnies for each 10 pounds lost, though I wish we had a cat smiley since my Grand Prize for getting down to my goal weight will be a kitten!
Exciting news for me and kind of TMI so proceed with caution- things looked pretty good at the doctor's appointment and if things are also good at my next one (including blood work), we're going to start trying to have a baby in earnest. Seriously hoping the Metformin will finally let me ovulate, and the doctor's going to prescribe Clomid as well. Ideally I'd be at a healthier weight before trying to conceive, but the doctor believes my uterus has an expiration date on it and we need to try to have a kid while it's still a possibility.
Last edited by HuggerBunny; 11-21-2013 at 11:06 AM.
HuggerBunny -- Congrats on your loss and the good news from the doc! I don't know how eating only 800 calories most days will affect you, we are all different. What did your doctor say about it?
My gut reaction is, "yow, I wouldn't want to eat only 800 calories per day, day after day, long-term", but that is just me. I maintain my current weight and have plenty of energy for running on more than double that amount of calories on most days, and maybe even more on weekends.
If you Google "very low calorie diets" I'm sure you can find information about possible negative effects, but since you are getting ready to try for a baby I'd really suggest a conversation with your doc!
I've binged (and purged ) twice this week and then last night I ate a burger and fries for dinner. I'm letting the fact that I can seem to lose anymore weight give me a "to h*ll with it" attitude and that is no good. I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.
I'm sorry Lisa! Hang in there! Meal planning sounds like a great idea!
Meal skipping never worked out for me either, it was set up for failure. My only exception is that occasionally I am not hungry first thing in the morning, but on those rare occasions that I don't eat breakfast my lunch is much bigger -- so I basically just eat my breakfast cals with lunch. Not the same as really skipping and cutting those cals out.
Mrs Snark, maybe I should say about 900 calories a day on average? I have days that are lower (600 range) and days that are higher. I'm not TRYING to limit myself and don't want to have issues. The thing is that my menstrual cycle started getting all out of whack when I weighed about 160 pounds. That isn't that much, but apparently my cycle is very sensitive to weight. After about 160 pounds, I'm not sure how frequently I was ovulating. Can't conceive a baby if I'm not ovulating, all the Clomid in the world won't help that problem! Of course, there's a decent chance the Metformin will help me ovulate, but I can't depend on it! I'm not especially eager to add more calories every day since I am quite happy with how I'm doing it right now, since more calories might mean longer until I get to a weight where my body is actually willing to ovulate on its own.
The doctor estimated that we have a 50% chance of having a baby and I really want to do what I can to be fall into the happy 50%. I've always loved kids, went to school for a teaching degree, and now work with special needs children. My husband doesn't want to adopt. I fully support anyone who does not want to have children, but darn it, I REALLY do and never having a baby would be upsetting (to say the least). We originally wanted 3 and are now just extremely hopeful for 1, I don't want to blow my chances either by not losing weight fast enough OR restricting calories and causing issues.
HuggerBunny - I totally understand! That's a lot of stress and I know you want to do everything just right and maximize your chances of conceiving!
I think when people do medically supervised very low calories diets, they eat special things (prescription bars/shakes or whatever) in order to make sure they are getting proper nutrients. That's why I thought your doc might be able to help make sure you get the MOST out of those calories you are eating!
Good news is my doctor was super pleased with my weight loss. I thought she might say it was too much, but she was happy with it. I'm eating the things she told me to eat but it didn't occur to me to tell her how many calories I'm consuming each day.
My brother knows about our fertility struggles and gets really frustrated when he sees or hears about parents that don't take good care of their children because he thinks it's unfair that they get to have kids and I don't. Then one of my best friends has had a couple of abortions and I've been there for her when she's recovered each time, she always says she wishes she could give her fertility to me. This might be kind of odd, but I don't begrudge people who have kids easily. I'm always thrilled when a friend or relative has a baby and am only a little annoyed at the injustice of unfit parents having kids easily when I can't. Regardless, like you said, I want to do everything I can to make this happen, especially since there's kind of a time limit. I don't want to have a hysterectomy but I'll be devastated if it has to happen before I have a baby.
Momwithdogs, this is such a nice thread and I hope reading here makes you feel good!
Love4allsizes, welcome to the thread The people in here are very nice!
Welcome. There are times in my day that this thread is the only place to turn. The only people that have the same thoughts as I do, the same struggles, it matters so much. You can share anything, as much (too much sometimes in my case) or as little as you want.
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Good news is my doctor was super pleased with my weight loss. I thought she might say it was too much, but she was happy with it. I'm eating the things she told me to eat but it didn't occur to me to tell her how many calories I'm consuming each day.
Yipee!!! Great news from the your doctor is always welcomed. Way to go. I hope they really emphasized your over all health. I used to hate going to the dr when i was very over weight and trying so hard. The dr used to just keep saying drop the weight, didn't give me direction or recommendations at all.
I see my own dr this next week and I am worried over what he will say concerning my weight, blood pressure, everything. I also need to make an appointment for a pap test and see the dr who did my hysterectomy surgery. I haven't been in a couple of years and as a cancer survivor its really really not a good idea.
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I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.
Its the only thing that works for me Lisa. I get in so much trouble. I can work all day and into the night and just not eat. But, the second I get home I want to eat. It wouldn't be so bad if that meant I would eat dinner but then I get snacking on anything and everything, then dinner goes out the window and I eat whatever I want. I start getting very anxious if I can't decide in the morning what I will have for dinner. I buy in bulk and freeze meat so I have to decide in the a.m. before work what to take out for the evening meal. I do better on those days.
I noticed today that I also need to start bringing a snack with me to work. Or, leaving items there that I can snack on if need be. I have bought salami sticks out of the vending machine two times this week. Its not good. Since I'm doing ATkins they are a better choice than the chips or crackers that the machine has.
I am 22 days in binge free and really trying to take a collective look at my binge eating. I am still wobbly, not quite ready to say I can control it totally on my own all the time, but i want to try to break things down while I can be objective and not as emotional or defensive figuring out what it is I do and why I do it. I don't know why I try to fill myself with bags of chips or trays of cookies, forcing it it, when what i need to fill is my self esteem and confidence. To be able to look in the mirror and be ok with what I see. Hear that voice in my head say, you know your pretty smart, good job, and while
I may not totally like the reflection looking back at me value myself. See that person, those qualities stare back at me that my husband said first attracted him to me. See the smile, the life in the eyes, find my true passion. I lack all of these things, its why eat, why I binge.
I stopped at the grocery store this morning on my break and ran into my mil (she is actually my former mother in law but we remain best friends and she calls me her daughter still). We used to grocery shop every week together. I asked her if she minded if i tag along and she was thrilled. She, my mil, sees me with genuine love, she doesn't see the insecurities I have and is always proud of me. She isn't even my "own" mother but after 25 years she is the one mother I have a relationship with. If I could see myself as she sees me.
While shopping i picked up fresh veggies, some cheese, hamburger, eggs, sf sweet pickles, onions, and then a few snacks. I was looking at my cart compared to my mil and I had all whole foods, real foods. My mil's cart had bags of chips, saltines, cheese its, noodles, fish sticks, Gatorade, and so many fake foods in it I questioned the nutritional value. My mil and fil have type 2 diabetes, are over weight, and fil has so many health problems. MIL used to really get on me, my fil as well, over my eating or lack of eating certain foods. They have been with me thru "thick and thin" literally and I wish with all my heart I could get them to make changes. Both my inlaws, and their doctor, promotes a low fat high carb diet and it just isn't working for them.
Sorry to go on and on. I have all of this on my mind, and more at work. It was bad today. I had to drive a bus out north of town to pick up some students and the roads were so bad they should have been closed, bus slid everywhere and you couldn't stop at stop signs. There were idiots all over the road, this was at 6:30 in the morning. I work for the transportation department in our local school district and I will fill in and drive when they need someone. Rest of the time I'm in my office.
I then went back to my office and worked on some projects the boss gave me. I heard the boss "chew out and yell" at the man across the hall who I am supposed to work with. He was basically telling him to mind his own business and do what he tells him. My boss gave me a project that used to be this other co-workers. He has not been keeping up on it and its OSHA required. This man was supposed to being working with me for over a year and he is the biggest male chauvinist pig, wont work with me or hand over things so the boss will now just come in and take things from him and say Cynthia's doing this from now on.
Well long story short after the boss cut him in half this guy decided to talk to another employee in his office. I know he was trying to "save face" and make himself look better in this other employees eyes (be the man) and he had just but cut down..so I heard him tell her a bunch of rotten stuff about our boss how stupid he is etc and then I hear "and he gives those OSHA safety data sheets to Cynthia of all people and she doesn't know a damn thing about anything"...Well, I heard it, my stomach dropped, I went from hurt, to sad, to mad, to wanting to hide in embarrassment. I usually would just tuck my head down, leave work early, and swing by the doughnut shop on the way home. Instead, I decided you know what stand up for yourself.
I don't know what gave me a back bone today but I went right into his office and in my polite little voice said excuse me but you do realize I was given this assignment by our boss. You may not think I am capable of doing this project but you feel no one can do anything but you. He gave it to me because you have not shown yourself to be capable of keeping up with the assignment. I'd be more than happy to sit down with you and have you go over things, show me how you have done them. But, if you ever decide to talk about me again and question my abilities, either close the door so I can't hear you and everyone else walking by can't hear you either, or don't start talking about things YOU don't know about or have all the facts about. I took a huge risk, really really did.
*doing a little Cyn victory dance around the room*
Everything you said to that idiot was very professional and appropriate and I think you did a GREAT thing standing up to the office bully (insert much worse words here!)! AWESOME!
Arnotts - yup we're totally in the same stop! I don't know what to stay except I know moderation is what works. I also know that accepting your "set point" works, so you might no make it to 123...I might not make it to 130. I think if you can't lose weight without eating a really low number of calories than maybe it isn't going to happen? Just what I've been told, I definitely don't practice what a preach!
HungerBunny - Hugs. I've never been in your situation, as I haven't tried to get pregnant but I'm sure it is very hard. I commend you for having such a positive, understanding attitude.
Mrs. Snark, mainecyn - thanks for the encouragement
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I've been a little depressed and have been kind of undereating the past few days days as I haven't had much of an appetite. I need to get a handle on it and buy some healthy groceries. I don't want to start a restrict/binge cycle!
23 days today. Nothing major happening binge wise..but nothing weight wise either. Little discouraging but what can I do? I tell myself getting upset and eating or binging wont help. Tough past few days and weekend coming with birthday part tonight for one @f the kids etc.
Wednesday was a little rough, and yesterday was a binge. Another one of those days when my stomach hurt soo badly from all the things I ate.
Today would've been Day 11, but I'm not too disappointed, since I feel like I'm really making progress. Although my binges can still pack in 2000 calories like that, when I binge, I don't keep doing it for the rest of the day anymore. Instead, I lie down until my stomach stops hurting and get out of the house.
Today is going well. I had some fruit and a small bowl of cereal and granola. No peanut butter, I had enough yesterday.
I cannot believe this is the last weekend before the holiday season really kicks off. I hope we each make it through the trove of wonderful food headed our way.
Hugger- IF sucks and I am really sorry you're dealing with this. You are going to hear horror stories about Clomid, but it's not bad at all. Think of it as just 5 days out of the month and it's nothing.
Momwithdogs, not trying to be nosy, but did you take Clomid and did it work for you? What was it like?
So I successfully resisted cookies! On Wednesday, my sweet husband made another batch of chocolate chip cookies, but he used Andes mints instead of chocolate chips. They were amazing. I had 2 and they were out of this world good. 2 went into the freezer and he took the rest to work. Earlier I was really wanting a cookie so I made some peppermint tea. Cookie craving gone I love peppermint! Also made a big pitcher of peppermint iced tea, just for the heck of it.
Now for some weird reason I want frozen bean and cheese burritos. The El Monterey ones that are really basic. They don't even taste like they have cheese in them, it just seems like refried beans in really doughy tortillas. Not that good. WHY do I want them?! We don't even have any in the freezer so there's no risk of me "breaking", that's nice! I've told myself if I still want them later, I can have refried beans for lunch Does anyone else crave weird things sometimes?
The people in here are very nice!
) twice this week and then last night I ate a burger and fries for dinner. I'm letting the fact that I can seem to lose anymore weight give me a "to h*ll with it" attitude and that is no good. I need to do what mainecyn mentioned and get back to meal planning every day. I find that really helps. I've been trying to skip lunch which never works and always makes me overeat or binge.
I'm sorry Lisa! Hang in there! Meal planning sounds like a great idea!
I love peppermint! Also made a big pitcher of peppermint iced tea, just for the heck of it.
