I'm 5'8.
I always the "big" girl in ballet, taller than the boys--with thicker thighs and a rounder tummy. Over the years, I stretched out and managed to remain somewhat thin, but I was never thin compared to the other girls. Looking back, I was shapely, but not in a bad way. For a twelve year old though..it wasn't exactly a positive thing.
In high school my highest weight was 165. After I graduated, I got down to 145, but wasn't able to lose anymore. I've always binged and have had habits of purging (recently a bit of vomiting, but before it was mainly laxatives). I love exercising once I get into the habit, and for the most part feel that I prefer healthier foods as I like the way they keep me energized and guilt-free.
I gained all the weight back that I lost over 3 years and was back up to the high 160s yet again. Just like before, I shed the pounds and brought myself down to 145 yet again. And just like before I gained it back and went all the way up to 172. To be completely honest, this has happened over and over and over---to the point where I have lost track. Most recently I lost 35 lbs and am at 142 from September of last year today.
I feel myself falling into old habits and really just need a support group to help me FINALLY lose the last 10-15 lbs. I would like to eventually weigh 125-135, but over all these years I've sabotaged myself. This is probably the longest that I've been able to keep the weight off and I want to continue on that path. I did it totally healthy, and lifted a lot of weights. I was very sick Feb-Mar and got out of the habit of working out in April, but now I am back!
I'm really looking forward to hearing all of your stories and making friends.
I really want to STOP binging. The shame that comes along with it is so hard to handle.
--
Michelle
