Hi guys,

After losing 50 lbs over an 8 month period, and eating 1000-1500 calories a day, I finally hit my goal weight of 140. Pretty much right after that I have started binging...I've gained 6 lbs in 3 weeks. It all started with a solo trip to California after the breakup of a 4.5 year relationship. I was miserable in LA and really at a low point. It was there that I started eating junk food. It's been 3 weeks since then and I've been having frequent binges. Even if I keep away from junk, I binge on healthy food. Anything I can get my hands on.

I'm under a lot of stress, working, finishing grad school, doing an internship, moving out of my ex's place, looking for a different job, etc etc. so I'm sure this is emotional.

I don't know what's going on with my brain. For 8 months I was hardly tempted by junk, and now it's like I literally can't say no.

It's like I'm one extreme or the other with eating. Lately, I feel numb and at a loss of control and just want to stuff my face. I don't even recognize my thoughts or behavior, it's like I'm possessed. I haven't done this type of eating in a year.!

Does anyone have any tips on not giving up and getting back into the swing of things? I'd like to lose the 6 lbs I gained, but the binges keep happening. I've started seeing a therapist, but any support you guys could offer would be really appreciated. I'm scared and sad and don't know what has come over me. Where is my motivation? I can't keep food in the house at this point, or I will eat it all in one sitting. No self control....

So sorry to hear all this, Mer du Japon

Binging is a direct result of restricting. Yes, your breakup doesn't help, but the real problem is more rooted in your relationship with food.

I urge you to read the other two threads under this topic, especially the first one:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...e-results.html

Pay particular attention to what bingefree2013 has to say.

Also read this one:

http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...nt-hunger.html

I can't tell you how many times I've read variations of your story here. Up and down, up and down, up and down. Lots of different reasons it happens, but ultimately it's dieting that is the cause of all the problems. I've never had a significant amount of weight to lose, but I've lost the same 20-25 lbs over and over and over again. It's kind of like a variation of the story about smoking, only it's about food:

"I know how to lose weight! I've done it lots of times!"

Yea, so why can't I keep it off?

Because I keep dieting.

So that's why I stopped.
And why I stopped weighing myself.

It's just an insane treadmill that most people with weight problems find themselves on. You're far from unique.

Whatever you do, DO NOT GO BACK ON A DIET. That will make you continue to binge, and therefore gain weight.

Restriction leads to binging. Always.

Don't panic. Relax. Listen to your body. Eat when you're hungry, and ONLY when you're hungry. Eat without distractions. Savor your food. Eat what you want. Stop when you're full. Take a deep breath. Forget about the six lbs you've gained. That's not important.

What IS important is that you make peace with food. And you can't do that until you stop restricting yourself.

I promise you it's true.

I agree with SouthernMaven. It's not about losing the weight, it's about our relationship with food. I'm still working on mine and I'm far from perfect, but I've been doing some introspection this year and the more I work on my feelings surrounding food (eating it, not eating it, eating certain kinds of food, etc etc), the better I have been feeling. Also, I've been trying to limit the stuff that makes me crazy, like sugar and processed food. I write a lot about feelings on food, my weight, and my health. The more I write it down, the less panicked I feel. Don't know if that helps, but that's how I cope. Also, this board is pretty much saving me. The more I read and post, the more successful and included I feel. Keep coming back. You're an inspiration to all of us for reaching your goal weight and having the courage to face maintenance!

I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now

I completely agree with everything SouthernMaven has said. When you're down, the last thing you need is to be beating yourself with the diet stick, and feeling out of control.

The foods you're craving increase serotonin. I get the same when I'm depressed. It's a hamster wheel I've been on since forever... Binge/guilt/restrict/repeat. Sure, you can't go eating all the food all the time and maintain your loss, but the binge/restrict cycle only ever drives your weight upwards. You'll have seen it before, I'm sure. Right now, just try to break that cycle.

You've done an amazing job with the weight loss - it's hard work, and we can all attest to that. And you're holding it together through a very stressful time. The thing is, there WILL be time to eat that hamburger, that chocolate, whatever you're craving. And that time is when you're hungry. If you're like most people you'll get hungry at least twice a day, perhaps more. That's so many opportunities to eat what you want. If you think you can never have it again though, or at least not for a long time, you know what your mind's going to do: it's going to understand there is a shortage of hamburgers, and encourage you to obtain them at any cost. Be cool! There is no food shortage. You don't need to squirrel away food because you're in a time of stress, that's likely a throwback from when stress meant danger, which meant scarcity, which meant eat all you can, and store it! Food is plentiful.

If you want a halfway starting point, why not say you can eat what you want, but you have to wait until you're hungry? I don't mean starve yourself, just wait and the hunger will show up naturally.

And you know those crazy all you can eat competitions, where you have folks doing stuff like trying to eat 10 chilli dogs in a minute? That'd make you feel really sick, and you know it. Your body WILL tell you when to stop. I think it takes about 15 minutes for your brain to understand that you're full. You can cut your portion into quarters and have one every 5 minutes to get used to it. When it stops tasting awesome, you're likely not hungry any more.

If you're afraid that this way of eating is going to make you enormous, I should point out that I've accidentally had 600 calorie days doing this. That's by no means a recommendation or a goal, I had to force myself to remember to eat several times, I'm just saying that foods will eventually lose their power over you when you know they're available whenever you want them. And I've been bingeing for about 20 years, but this has STOPPED it.

I hope things get better for you

hey there... I had 800g left to get to my goal weight when my grandmother passed away. I went down a spiral of binging and within a few months gained the weight back. I saw a psychologist about my eating and relationship with food and one of the things she said that i use food as a way of comforting myself. As a child my parents had a terrible marriage and to comfort me, my mum would take me to fast food places she knew i like. So one of my issues (and there are many) is that as an adult i use food to comfort myself but my issues/pain/problem/stress etc is too big and too complex and food as an adult doesnt have the same soothing quality tht it has as a child. so no matter how much you eat, you are still in pain, so you eat more. My advise? if you can, see someone about your eating issues. And although i agree with not being on a diet, per se, eating what your body feels like, on the assumption that it will let you know when you are full is very dangerous if you dont have a healthy relationship with food and use it as a replacement activity.

I agree also with Southern Maven. Many have been on a diet most of their lives. That's got to stop--and we need to realize that its O.K. NOT to have a full feeling in our stomachs 24 hours a day seven days a week. It's O.K. to actually be at a comfortable-satisfied level and it's O.K. to not restrict ourselves constantly to certain foods-- but only maintain of amount of how much of those foods we'll eat. IOW--the word Diet--has got to go because that is a temporary word--and in this instance once the goal was achieved it was time to binge again. Boyfriends come and go but your life is forever--and you need to be healthy to do a lifetime. Lifestyle change works for me.

I think Southern Maven and Kscott gave you some excellent advice. I hope that it is helpful to you. In the long term, I don't think that diets solve the problem because diets die, they are so hard to follow and live with, I think. I'll take a lifestyle change that includes moderate exercise, healthier foods, working on portion control, etc. rather than go through another diet, ugh the stress of them.

I hope your therapist helps you! Good for you for reaching out to us!

What can you do to take care of yourself that doesn't involve food? Ideas I have are: bubble baths, walks, play my guitars, sing, etc.... distract from the excess food, maybe drink some liquids like water instead. Often I am more thirsty than hungry.

On that note, good luck with everything!

It will be okay.

I gained some weight after losing my ex-bf too and now I think, why am I eating over him???

Take care.

This is exactly what happened to me in 2005. And again in 2008. I lost a lot of weight, got tired or complacent - not sure which - and then I started binging. I was on the exact same path this time. I lost 130 pounds or so, swore that THIS time it will be different, but then the binging started. I would binge for a day and gain 8 pounds of food and water weight. When I realized I could get back to my pre-binge weight after 2 weeks, I started binging more, thinking I had everything under control.

But I got worse and started to gain again. I realized I needed help so I found an eating disorder clinic that has truly been a lifesaver. They teach intuitive eating. I can't say I'm a pro at it, but I did have my longest binge-free period ever and after a recent relapse, I'm back on track.

Get help if you can...while you are still way ahead in your weight loss journey and can make the changes.

At my current weight, I almost never binge. When I'm thin, I binge like a mad person. I think it's because your body becomes used to having a certain amount of calories or something once you stop dieting. So, it pushes you to get back to that.

I wish I knew what the answer is. Therapy is probably a good place to start. Maybe ask your doctor?

One answer could be Leptin. It is a hormone given off by fat cells. It basically tells you that you are satisfied. The less fat on your body, the less Leptin. The body is very smart and fights back if it is at a weight that is too low. There are other hormones too and just eating less calories will also send out hungry hormones. I think being thin as opposed to heavy also has an effect on neurotransmitter activity. So basically you are not imagining things.

I watched the youtube video Why Thin People Are Thin and on the last 2 parts, it said something about the fact that we have fat cells and those fat cells never go away and so if someone was once overweight, those cells will want to get filled up thereby making it much more difficult to keep the weight off.

In the past year, I gained back 50 lbs. that I had lost. I'm not blaming my fat cells, but I'm definitely blaming my addiction to food. I'm at it again and wish I could save you the heartache of having to go through what I've been through. If I had the answers, I'd tell you but I still haven't figured it out.

Are you working out? Exercise is not necessary for weight loss (it's for fitness) but I think it does help with the mental aspects.

Also, for me, I've been really liking IF (Intermittent Fasting). There's a thread under General Diet Plans. You give yourself a window of time in which to eat so you maybe eat the same amount of calories as you would throughout the day, but it appeals to me because I get to have that very full feeling that I crave once I do eat.

I think you have to find out what works for you. In the meantime, perhaps you could plan out the menu for one day and eat only those foods on your list. No matter what. Sometimes just one good day can help me get back on the wagon.

Hi Mer,

I'm so sorry you are going through this, and I applaud you for seeing a therapist!!!! If you look at my ticker and my current weight you'll see that I recently went through the same thing. I also used to "binge" on healthy foods, even eating weird stuff like spoonfuls of raw flax seeds, as a precursor to eventually going back to my bad old ways.

I lost 110 and maintained it for a year before getting derailed by the kind of over-the-top stress you are dealing with now. Sounds like you are dealing with stress coming at you from a number of different angles-- personal, professional, etc.

I understand where the intuitive eaters in this thread are coming from, but in my own personal case, I didn't have a history of restrict/lose/binge/regain. I had a history of binge/gain/binge/gain that went on for years, and then I was able to successfully maintain for quite a while before I regained. In fact, I really believe that if I hadn't had so much major upheaval in every aspect of my life-- personal, professional-- right when I was trying to learn to maintain, that I wouldn't have regained.

I don't know the answer about how to stop, but I do think that looking back there are a few things that I wish I had done: 1) acknowledge that you are under and unusual amount of stress and get help 2) try to find a maintenance eating plan that is not too strict rather than constantly aiming to go back to where you were when you were losing. 3) don't quit exercising. I didn't realize how much exercising was helping me manage my stress and thus manage my bingeing tendencies, but I found out the hard way that this was the case. 4) make sure you have enough IRL support. 3FC helped me lose the weight, but when I started seriously bingeing, coming here wasn't enough.

Regarding intuitive eating, etc, myself personally, I would not try to learn a whole new eating style while struggling to manage big life stress unless you were under the care of a therapist who knew how to guide you.

I would give anything to spare people the pain that felt when I relapsed. Please know that many people seem to struggle when they transition to maintenance, but many people actually do make it. Among my "weight loss buddies" on the trip down back in 2009, most have kept the weight off.

I've had the same problem, Mer. At the time, I didn't know what to do, and before I thought about changing it - it was too late. Now I'm starting over again, and again. Reading these posts, though - what amazing advice!

Ican relateto you totally.I'm doing the same thingright now.Ineed somone to be accountable to