I was wondering how you girls managed to find the motivation to lose weight? I am asking this because I do want to lose weight. My weight problem is affecting many aspects of my life and I know losing the extra weight would solve some of those problems, but I can't resist a piece of chocolate. And yet, there are people who are so focused and determined that they can say no and lose weight. Past of my problem is probably that I have never been thin so I don't really have anything to look forward to. Any tips on keeping the motivation and being able to be strong in order to lose weight?

Sorry if this is a bit confusing.

Hi. I'm just starting out too and have found that being around sites like this is motivating for me. Especially before and after photos, I have searched them all out. It took me a long time to get started, but looking at all the people who had more than I to loose or had medical/family issues, put it into perspective. Sometimes there is that "ah-ha" moment which I hadn't had until about 2 weeks ago. Many on here do calorie counting and that is working for me. You can keep track on My Fitness Pal.

I guess I am still waiting for this "ah ah" moment. I know my sister had it when someone called her a fatty and she got so hurt, she lost 20 lbs. I wish I also had this moment when my desire to lose weight outweigh the desire I have for sugar.

You have to have a small goal each day, week or month. For example, I'm eating out with my girlfriends tomorrow. I decided last week that I was going to count every morsel before I went out to lunch with them. My goal for December is to show the idiot nurse at the Dr's office that my weight went down from a few months ago (since she made a nasty comment). I am making a goal of sticking to it until my next Zumba class next week. Little goals that will motivate you. You have to make a game out of it. Get busy. Distract yourself. Go out. Did you buy yourself Yellow flowers? Give yourself a reward when you made it through the day. Say nice things to yourself. You're are already ahead in the game, because at least you are trying to do what's right! Give yourself stars after each half hour of not having what you craved. Take a fun class that you like. Get on the computer and learn more about health when you want to eat. Just coming here and asking for help was fantastic! Find out, "What's really going on?" when you crave food. It's really something else. Maybe it's emotional, financial, anger, sadness, being bored, being alone, maybe you need more vitamin B, maybe you need more endorphins or serotonin. Sugar makes you crave more food. Remember, this is a habit and can lead to an addiction. It takes time to get over it. Very few people get that aha moment. It's all up to you and how bad you want it.

What keeps me motivated is that my body is a testament to my diet. It absolutely does not lie. It's there. If there's too much fat on it, I'm eating too much. I display the evidence where ever I go.

For some reason, I hold the belief that I should never eat more than my share. I live in the land of plenty where food isn't rationed. If I eat less, that doesn't mean a malnourished person can eat more. It makes no sense! But, that belief is there for me. So, when I'm carrying around extra weight I feel guilty. I'm eating more than I need. That's not okay. I should eat what I need, but not more.

earthecho, that is such a true statement, you are what you eat, and what you eat in private, you wear in public. I struggle with emotional eating, and everyday is a fight with myself. What motivates me is the fact that one day, I want to win the battle for good. Not for one day, not for a week or a month. For good. I want to love myself, look in the mirror and be confident. My biggest motivation is the person i see in my head. Me in the future.

It sounds like you are having trouble with deferred gratification -- resisting what you want right now in order to achieve something else in the future.

Have you read The Beck Diet Solution? It's not a diet per se -- it doesn't tell you what to eat or how many calories or how many carbs, etc. It's more about how to think in order to lose weight. There's a lot in there about how to remain motivated in the face of temptation.

For me, one of the most effective things I do is tell myself, "I can't have that now, but I can have it another time." The idea of giving up chocolate forever? Horrible. The fact that I may have to give it up today, or this week, but I will have it again? Acceptable. I count calories, so really nothing is off limits forever, you just have to work it in.

My other advice is to plan your food. For me, when I make a plan (either the night before or first thing in the morning), and log it online (I use My Plate), I am able to "forget" about food for the day. I don't have to make any decisions about whether or not to eat something -- I've already decided and committed. So if something comes up -- like I see vanilla whoopie pies at Whole Foods -- I've already decided I'm not having one today.

Of course, this doesn't work all the time, and I've yo-yo'd, but this is my best advice.

It's hard to gauge a person's mindset from a forum post, but it doesn't sound like you're all that excited about/committed to losing weight. Do you *really* want it? My apologies if I'm misreading you.

Thanks for all the good advice girls. It helps a lot. I will take it a day at a time and do some cleaning in my head.

Thesame7lbs, you haven't misread me. Sometimes I don't really want to lose weight. Food is such a comfort for me that I am afraid of giving it up. What would I replace it with? By moving to a new city a few months ago, I lost all the emotional support I had back home. I am rebuilding my network but in the meantime, food is the only thing I have. Sugar gives me this daily burst of happiness I need. At the same time, I know it can't continue like that. I am feeling very uncomfortable walking and I hate being out of breath after climbing a set of stairs or being slower than everyone when I run. It sucks big time.

Substitute "alcohol" or "meth" for "sugar," and we'd all agree you are using something destructive as a crutch. Sugar is no different. It is helping you get through a short-term low but it is killing you in the long-term.

Think about it another way: if you had a friend who you called, and she started out, "Oh, I'm so glad you called, my friend! I'm so happy to talk to you!" and then she proceeded to be mean and cruel and rip you apart, would that be a true friend?

Sugar is not your friend.

Get rid of any crap food in your house. Come up with a plan -- what will you do when a sugar craving strikes. Set a goal for yourself -- one day without a treat, two days, a week. Reward yourself for each mini-goal -- a bottle of nailpolish, a pedicure, a cute new Halloween decoration, whatever little thing floats your boat.

Setting goals, and setting yourself up for success so you can achieve them, is one of the greatest motivators I know!

If I had waited for actual motivation I still wouldn't have started changing my habits. Motivation comes in fits and starts for me, I can't really rely on it.

For me to "get into the groove" I had to clear my house of all junk and follow a very rigid plan. I knew that I would have more flexibility in the future, when I had established some better habits, but right at the beginning the only thing that kept me from going crazy was a strict plan and no access to junk. And there were some really hard moments where I had my car keys in my hand and the urge to go buy EVERYTHING and EAT IT, so I know I wouldn't have survived those moments if I'd had easy access to junk right at those moments. I even gave my husband my wallet a couple times. It is HARD at first -- seriously, gut-it-out ugly, want to pull out my hair, hard for me.

It did get easier with time, and repetition of good habits. I'm not nearly as rigid as I was in the first couple months, but occasionally I still have to fall back on a very strict plan -- no playing it by ear -- having too many choices is always a problem for me.

I agree with all of 7lbs above advice.

Thanks for all the good advice. I know I need to start liking myself a bit more and give up sugar. I am going to start taking care of myself because I deserve it. Thank you ladies!!!!

See luzitania, if you decide it to do it, then you can do it. but if your doing it with partial interest then it you may feel difficult doing it.

I don't know about others, but sometimes I can't resist a piece of cake and I've lost 57lbs (26kgs) in the past 12 months. As for the motivation, it's one of the first hurdles that one must overcome when losing weight. It's a matter of saying yes to exercise on those so-called lazy days or saving that piece of cake until your off-plan day (or that slice of birthday cake you have to have to avoid an eye glare lol ).

It's easy to be lazy and harder to be active.

I've had a few motivational issues to overcome lately.
My first was the unmoving scale. For 2 months my weight remained the same, even though I was running and eating (mostly) good foods. I figured out it was because I wasn't keeping an eye on my portion control. After getting that under control, I lost 1.3kgs last month.
My second thing was not being able to surpass 4-6kms for my running. Every time I went out, I got tired at the 4km mark and either stopped or was stuffed by 6km. I got some friendly advice and realised I just needed to push myself harder and slow my pace. I did that today and ran 10kms. I totally smashed my 8km target

It's all about perseverance: making goals and sticking to them. For you, 'being thin' may not be enough, so you might have to amend it if you can't get the motivation. Instead, you might aim to enter a competition (running, fashion) you want to to tick 'to be thin' off your bucket list

I like to swap out my back round pics on my phone with pics that inspire me. I search Instagram and follow other women on weigh loss journeys. Or watch before and after weight loss journeys on youtube. That has helped keep me focused. Or looking at old pics of myself at a bigger size that reminds me of what i have accomplished so far, and that "I've got this!" if i have lost weight before I can do it again!!

I hate the ah hah moment. It's dellusional to think that one moment of clarity is enough to spur you on to becoming a different person. Saying that you're waiting for an ah ha moment is just an excuse so that you don't do anything. "Oh i'm still waiting for my ah hah moment." There are dreamers and there are doers. Be a doer.

I rely heavily on motivational quotes. They kick my butt whenever I'm looking for excuses.

"Those who argue for their limitations generally get to keep them..."

"If you want it, you'll find a way. If you don't, you'll find an excuse"

"The best way to predict the future is to create it." Abraham Lincoln

"People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily." Zig Ziglar

“Decision is the ultimate power.” – Tony Robbins

“Maturity comes when you stop making excuses and start making changes.”