I would say my life has become 50% outrageously eating excessively bad, and 50% doing extremely well with clean eating and my fitness levels.

How can two polar opposites exist in one person like this?

It's exhausting. It's like when I'm out of control scorfing down thousands of calories, I can't BELIEVE that I'm the same girl who was spending hours at the gym the day before and eating clean foods.

This cycle is practically every other day, just enough to maintain my weight each week.

I want to stop it and finally stop binging, but I feel like this is how my life is destined to be.

Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?

I would look at maybe adding more calories into your "good" diet.

Yep, I definitely feel the same way. Lately I've been trying to find ways to prevent binge eating, and it seems to be helping.

I totally understand... I go through the same thing. I exercise daily and try to eat very well but it is like I'm 3 days on/4 days off (big binges) and the weight is starting to pile on!

I've been really trying to pay attention to getting nutrients into what I'm eating, so instead of taking a vitamin or something like that I'm getting what I need for my body from my food intake. I added some unsalted peanuts to my smoothie and it seems to have really gotten rid of a little hungry feeling i was getting that was making me crave some chips or something.

Try to see the positives, you're maintaining, and take some little steps to try and maybe put together 2 good days to 1 bad or a day and a half, but definitely try and look at what you're eating on your binge days in terms of what you might be lacking, if you can change your mindset to look at what's happening in a scientific or troubleshooting kind of way, trying to see if you're looking for fatty, salty, carby maybe some kind of trend, it can help you figure out what you need to add in on your good day to help you get in control.

Also, if there's an emotional component, since you're saying every other day, it might be easy to overlook if it's because every other day you have some stressor...hope things get better for you, I'm sure you can adapt and overcome.

The first step is admitting you're powerless, then you start working on how to deal with that.

best to all

I love this thread so me thx 4 the suggestions

I struggle like this too. I do well all day, but lose control around 7 pm. Tonight it was pistachios. They're not evil, but I wasn't hungry at all when I ate them. I was edgy and annoyed with myself. After eating them, I felt regret about that decision, but a little later, when my body was suffering from just one of the issues I have from carrying so much weight, I was so angry with myself. And angry about every moment in my life when I overate, because they all contributed to how terrible I was feeling in that moment.

Usually I get mad and make myself feel better by staying up late for hours devising the new plan of the moment that would (hopefully) be The Answer I was looking for. Tonight, I'm trying to tell myself that I will make better choices tomorrow because...I just want to stop reacting to every emotional moment with food.

What the heck would it take for me to not eat over some emotionally-charged moment? I have no idea. Why do I seem immune to the wrong decision process earlier in the day? I'm busy doing things I enjoy doing, my work. In the evening, I start to feel lonely, disconnected and disappointed about some aspect of my life. Plus, I'm too tired to pursue anything really interesting. So I park myself on the sofa and snack on up to 1000 extra calories a night. I don't eat because I'm hungry. It's anxiety. This what I have to resolve.