Some thoughts
These are just some thoughts and ideas I've been having, and I thought I'd post it to share, just in case it might be helpful to others!
After not binge eating for a week (!!), the past few days I've been struggling with flagging motivation to continue. I'm trying to figure out exactly what I'm feeling and why, and what to do about it, and this is something I came up with:
One of the things I've been discussing in counselling is the concept of seeing yourself as a child, the kid you used to be, and being kind to that little person. I tend to be very critical and harsh on myself, and my counselor recommended that I try and think about, would I really be that mean to just a little girl? And since that little girl is still a part of me, that's kind of a reason to have more compassion on myself.
We did a visualization exercise where I thought of a time when I was younger and experiencing a very difficult time, then imagined my current self going back there, tapping my little girl self on the shoulder, hugging her and giving her encouraging words, then taking her by the hand and leading her outside, away from the situation, and eventually back to the present time. (It was much more awesome when we were actually doing it than I can describe it here! lol)
One of the things I took away from that was the obvious thing, thinking of myself as that vulnerable, younger little girl.
But the other thing that struck me even harder, when I was imaginging my older self leading my younger self away, was that I have the power to act contrary to how I feel.
To apply this to my situation now:
I can fully recognize the part of me that is wanting to binge. And it is that little girl me, from when I first started binge eating, and she is feeling scared and anxious and helpless.
BUT, at the same time, I can also recognize the part of me that has grown and learned, the part that wants to do the right thing and not give in to binging.
I might not be able to change how that little girl feels. Maybe not now, maybe not ever. A lot of times, I don't even understand perfectly how she is feeling or why! And when I try not to binge, that part of me gets worried and even angry about it.
But that doesn't mean I can't still use the other part of myself, the one that knows what I really need to do, to guide myself the right way in my actions.
This really was kind of a break-through new way of thinking for me.
I'm going to keep in mind as I go through my week!
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