20,000 calorie 2 day binge. So stressed out.
 

I promised myself I wouldn't binge for the whole month of June, I wanted to give myself a 'cheat' day to try and get over my plateau, I was 2.5 pounds away from reaching my goal weight. My cheat day turned into 2 binge days that amounted to around 20,000 calories. I eat myself to the point that I am sick. I just backtracked a MONTH of healthy eating and tons of exercise in 2 days. Scale says I gained 10 pounds but I know half that is water weight. I just can't believe I let myself gain 5 pounds in 2 days. I'm so ashamed, I'm so upset, I've been bawling my eyes out I just can't seem to shake this. I am what you would call 'normal' weight I'm 5' 7" and WAS at 132.5 pounds but since December I started doing binges like this, some days 6,000, some 8,000 calorie days. NEVER 20,000 in TWO DAYS. I can tell i've gained the weight in my face, in my legs in my arms. I just can't believe this. :?: ugh.

Are you being seen by a therapist? This is the sort of thing that a professional can help you with.

That sucks :( I know exactly how you feel. I did the same thing; i got down to a pretty low weight (142) and then proceeded to binge all last week. So now i've gained a ton of water weight. Does this happen to you more often when you close to your goal weight? It does with me. I think it's because the closer you are to goal, the more strict you have to be with your diet; and the more strict you are, the more likely you are to binge. So i've decided that i'm not going to be as strict anymore (after i shed a few pounds of water weight, that is). I still want to lose weight but i'm going to do it really slowly.

Oh yes, I have been there with you. I hate that after binge face bloating, it makes me want to HIDE all day.

Maybe instead of allowing a cheat day which might be a gateway to these HUGE binges, allow yourself a treat every other day (or whatever works for you).

I realize we're all different, but for me, being VERY restrictive always leads to a binge.

Drink lots of water and hang in there.

Instead of a cheat day, allow yourself a cheat meal. Just one. Then get back on track. It's easier to recover from one cheat meal than a whole cheat day or two.

And don't beat yourself up. We ALL have set-backs. Just use this to get yourself re-motivated. (((Hugs)))

Like you, i hit some all-time highs with my calorie counts last week. It was pretty scary...let's just say i may have gone over 7000 on two different days. So my immediate goal is just going to be to limit my binges. Next time i feel myself entering a binge, i'll say "ok i can finish this box of cookies but that's it." Not the healthiest strategy...it's still a binge...but my goal is just to limit the damage. A 3000 calorie binge wouldn't be nearly as damaging as a 7000 calorie binge.

Does "relax on weekends, control on weekdays" work for you or set you up for binges that can't wait until Friday?

Honestly, I question why you think you need to lose weight. At 5'7" and 132, you are at a healthy weight already. Your body will NOT LET YOU lose past a certain point, because it has a "happy weight" where it wants to be. If you continue to try to lose weight, your body will rebel. The binges will continue. Please think about why you feel the need to continue to lose weight when your body is telling you otherwise.

I know this is armchair psychology, but I can't help wondering whether there's something important missing in your life, which you're trying to substitute with food. I agree with others that a therapist might be able to help you. In the meantime, there's no sense beating yourself up. Try to eat healthy foods, but be GOOD to yourself so you won't feel such a strong need to rebel or punish yourself.

JMHO Freelance

Sorry this took so long to respond.

For the last few days I've been back on track, and oddly enough I only gained a pound after the water weight fell off, I worked my BUTT OFF these last few days and plus I breastfeed so maybe that helped. Based on calories in vs. calories out this doesn't make much sense, maybe I reved (SP) up my metabolism. I marked up my total caloric intake and it was around 17,000 not the original 20,000 that I presumed, still a ton though. I am not being seen by anyone about this since it's something so new and it just started happening. I'm not sure if I'm depriving myself too much so that when I let myself slip or give myself a cheat meal/day something triggers in my head like MUST EAT EVERYTHING YOU'RE NOT ABLE TO EAT THIS IS YOUR ONLY CHANCE like it's a life or death situation and this is my last meal on earth. Within an hour I drove through wendy's, burger king, taco bell, then back to burger king (each place multiple items) went to the dollar store got several bags of candy, went to starbucks got 3 pastries, and this was all after a huge lunch and binging at home. I did have the binge bloat for the next few days where you look like a puffy marshmallow, it was awful. I've told my husband about this and my parents, and my mother thinks I should go talk to someone, I am also medicated for sever panic disorder and I haven't been taking my meds consistently and part of me thinks that has a bit to do with it. I know that binging normally leads to obesity and that's something I'm really worried about. I need to get this figured out.. and yes I normally binge and overeat the closer I get to my goal weight, it's like two steps forward one step back. Thank you all for your kind words and advice, it has really helped a lot, I love this forum it makes me feel like I'm not alone.

I want to get back to the weight I was at during my wedding, which is between 125 and 127 pounds. That was a weight I was very satisfied with, and my body will obvoiusly LET me lose past a certain point because I was there once for a long time. I never starved myself to get there either, I just ate healthy and exercised several times a week. 125-127 isn't an unhealthy weight for my height, I didn't look too thin when I was at that weight, I was still quite curvy I just didn't have the tummy I have now!

This is what I've decided to try from now on, a cheat MEAL instead of a cheat day that gets out of control. These 8-10,000 calorie days happened because I gave myself an entire cheat day which turned into binge days... These two days were the most I've ever racked up normally my binges happen around dinner time... I eat healthy and under my calorie limit all day then I end at a 5,000 calorie day which ISN'T bad compared to 10,000.

I think a cheat meal is a good idea. You might also try to eat foods that are both delicious and healthy, rather than the Wendy's/Taco Bell routine, which is probably not all that satisfying because it's not good-quality food (never mind its health value).

F.

*hugs* It is so so hard, that is all I can say. Best of luck. maybe I am not recovered enough yet to advise but I think people here have some great words of wisdom.
xxx

You may want to look into a book entitled Brain over Binge. Amazon sell it, and according to the reviews I've seen (there and just on other forums), it has helped people almost immediately stop binging. I'm suggesting it because you say that your binging is a relatively new behavior that seems to have been brought on by dieting, and that is exactly what happened to the author of Brain over Binge. It's worth a read if there's a chance that it might help you.