my may goals are
1-not to binge
2-do my daily exercises
3-work daily on my clutter

Agreed 100% and to get some handle on my eating disorder, I need to be here with all you lovely folks who understand where I am at .

Back to day one today for me - but each time I have a binge now I actually know what starts it and I also know that some kinda planning to ensure that they don't happen will help me :doh::doh:

If it helps anyone else --here's how they start they always happen when I'm thrown off my regular meal times and when I am away from home - it begins by me trying to rectify hunger and or tiredness with what I can get access to which is normally the bad stuff - then the 'to **** with it ' voice kicks in and off we go - full uncontrollable binge and it really is that simple :mad:

So now that you know what throws you off, what can you do to prevent it? Can you start carrying healthy snacks with you for emergencies? A good protein bar, an apple and some almonds, beef jerky, baby carrots, a banana, tuna fish in individual pouches? There are a TON of things you can stash in your car or keep in your purse that will last all day (or that you can leave there indefinitely like the jerky and bars) that you can reach for when you miss a meal or get a case of the munchies.
What else can you do to prepare for that?

Yep, I can take something with me that won't lead to a full blown binge - I'm also trying to get a handle on my life and clear out a lot of the crap that's holding me back -

It's day 2 today and there don't seem to be any fall down periods during next week - so here goes

Awful quiet in here... chirp chirp?

Well last night I was having another really hard night, so I decided that as of today it was probably a good idea to bump up my calories a bit more by adding more fats and hope that kills these recent urges. I haven't lost control, but it's been hard the past two days!

I am sooo glad I didn't slip up last night, because I wanted to. This morning I got an email from another online fitness site that wants to run a transformation feature on me, and it made me so happy! I know if I had eaten crap last night I would have felt like such a fraud and a failure seeing that email this morning. Instead, I felt validated. :D

Good job Jossfit! It's been a hot minute since I've been on here but I'm feeling good so far!! My hubby actually surprised me with... A trip to Hawaii! He told me to pack up, had gotten all of my restaurant shifts secretly covered, found subs for all of my classes, and we left that night! I told myself I could sort of have the week off- and it's actually been easier than ever to stick to my calorie budget and I haven't even wanted any treats! Amazing how "off limits" foods aren't as tempting when I'm "allowed" to have them. I also think that being away from stress helps more than anything!

I've also been out running every morning and we've been out on 3-5 mile hikes each day. I honestly may LOSE weight on this trip without any effort. Haha how would that be? ;-) anyways- just thought Id stop by and check in! I'm still trying to stay accountable!

Glad to hear you are doing good! Holding on here too. Good things are starting to happen, some of them related to my new self-confidence, and some to good luck. It's a winning streak!

danzingurl that's a GREAT surprise!!! Have a great stress-free time!

I ate a humongous amount of food last night at a BBQ. Three bowls of jalapeno corn chowder and somewhere between 7-10 slices of cornbread plus a pulled pork sandwich and slaw and collard greens and I had frozen yogurt right before bed. TOM is probably imminent; I have pimples which usually only come at that special time.

There is a distinct lack of guilt today. I just feel like returning to regularly scheduled programming because it was physically uncomfortable eating that much food.

How would you classify that incident, chicks?

I planned on making some smoothies yesterday and snacking here and there once I got home, but I got a little carried away, and, well, I was up 5 lbs today.
BUT- I did weigh after school, so I expected it to be up a couple lbs, plus, I'm sure it's just water weight. I doubt I could've gained more than 1lb.
I woke up today with a soar throat, s I don't know if I;ll be working out (I didn't work out yesterday, though)... I'll get back on the ball tomorrow though.

You w.sent a little crazy with all the trigger foods but jumped right back on the wagon. One of the keys for me is remembering how uncomfortable I felt. About every 4 months it happens with take-out not so great Chinese. And I repeat - not so great - so another thing I try to remember - the fantasy did not equal the reality at all.

Krampus - I would classify that as good for the most part. It sounds like you enjoyed it (even though you feel you overdid it a bit) but you didn't let that carry on into something terrible. Win! :hug:

I actually had an interesting night last night; I had been fighting with myself for days about having treats which meant it was probably time for a carb-up (at my level of bodyfat, I keep my calories fairly low but carb-up/refeed once every 2-3 weeks to get things running again and give myself a mental break) and I went and got some goodies. After eating some of them (a slice of carrot cake, some ice cream and 1/2 of a cookie) I just didn't want any more and threw the rest out!

Today I woke up looking leaner, had a great workout (lifting) and even ran a bit, which is awesome because I haven't tried in a few weeks due to an undiagnosed foot injury I've been worried about. I feel happier and ready to continue my cut, as I have now only 4 weeks until my wedding dress fitting and want to make sure that I am at the size and shape that I plan to be on my wedding day by then.

The other thing I realized is that my plan to not weigh myself this month isn't really helpful to me, and I'd do better if I were to continue to check weekly. I don't know if I will check this weekend or start next weekend, but definitely by then for sure. Even though I did wake up looking a bit leaner today, it's because of the extra water pulled into my muscles, and I know that will make me heavier on the scale. I will wait until next weekend most likely so that it doesn't freak me out!

Anyway, whenever I plan on doing a carb-up/refeed it usually ends up spilling over into two days, and THAT is when I notice bloating and weight gain. Keeping it to just one evening is when I usually end up losing weight a week or so later, so we'll see how it goes. If I can break that cycle and keep myself from eating badly today I will consider this whole event a HUGE success!

Happy to report that everything is back to normal after the cornbread incident. Better than normal, even - I'm lighter as of today than I've been in years and I haven't felt deprived at all. I know, I know, weighing myself too much is stupid, but that dependence is a small price to pay for getting sane about eating and realizing I don't have to eat less than 1300 calories a day to lose weight...more like an average of 1700-1800 a day!

Sounds like everyone is doing alright! I told myself that while on vacation I could have 1 absolutely free day, whenever it happened- yesterday was that day. I found a place that sold... Get ready... Macadamia nut chocolate chip pancakes with coconut syrup. Can you say, "those are all of my ABSoLUTE favorite foods combined and if I were on death row that would be my last meal for sure?"

I was at least double my calories for the day (ate that for dinner and had eaten pretty normally the rest of the day), but I feel absolutely no guilt. I didn't stuff myself until I was sick- just enjoyed my food and am headed out for my long run this morning. So, I think I'm going to go ahead and not count that as a binge- even though it was an extreme overload of calories. Sounds like that's the path were reaching for, right? Able to stay on track with the occasional indulgence- without turning into food monsters and beating ourselves up about it later?

Whew that was long-winded, but I haven't just enjoyed "off-limits" food for a LONG time. It's a freeing feeling.

That is definitely not a binge danzingurl. No guilt, enjoyment of the food, and being able to stop before feeling bad - that's an awesome move toward that ultimate goal of balance and sanity and the ability to indulge when you want to without letting it mess with your head and result in days of binges (which is mine too)!

When you get to the weight that you are now, that usually ends up happening... you eat a fairly healthy diet daily, and then you indulge and bloat up a bit... but then, MAGIC! :D The increase in calories sends your leptin levels through the roof and stokes up those metabolic fires, and the next thing you know you're actually lighter than you were before! Thats why I do my carb-up/refeeds... to kick my metabolism back into gear. I find them to be pretty effective.