today i finally felt in control of my eating
 

for the first time in my life today, i finally felt like i was totally in control of my binge eating. not that it was easy. today was in fact, a terrible day. i got laid off from work, and my boss didnt even tell me, i had to find out from my replacement that was training that morning, (apparently my employer isnt willing to wait the 2 weeks until my semester is over and i can start working full time again...) so i got depressed. i sat at work and stared down a box of cookies for about 4 hours.

when i finally got off work, on my way home the car in front of me hit a cat and i could not stop the car before i hit the poor thing too, thank god i at least put it out of its misery. so i got a lot more depressed.

when i got home i was at my breaking point. i needed the comfort of food. i couldnt take my mind off of it. but i had still managed to keep under my 1800 calories for the day, and i didnt want to ruin that.

instead of binging, and going to bed feeling guilty i chugged a 5 hour energy, and went out for a walk (this was at 11pm btw, so you see how much motivation it took) i walked 3 miles, and jogged close to a mile. i was gone until almost 1am, thats a lot for my tubby butt! haha!

and now i am going to bed completely relieved of my stress, and with a smile on my face. the excercise did more for me then food ever could. i cant believe i never saw this before.

every day i feel just a little bit better about myself. even when the world is crumbling around me, the crisp night air, and the screaming coming from my muscles reminds me that i am achieving something wonderful.

First off, let me just give you a HUGE hug!!!! :hug:

I'm sorry to hear you are getting laid off. that is just terrible!

I'm so proud that you are still looking after yourself!!! Keep yourself no 1 when your world is falling apart around you. We, 3FC, are always here for you!!!

Well done. That's some pretty amazing will power! You deserve something good to come your way - hopefully that will include a good weight loss this week!

I'm sorry you had such an awful day, but I have to tell you, I admire your strength and self control. If I were you, I'd award myself something for being so strong, nothing food related, maybe a book, or something you've always wanted.
Exercising works for me as well when I'm feeling a bit depressed, I know there's a scientific explanation for it; physical effort releases endorphins, which makes us feel happier and this counters the effects of stress.

I know exactly how you feel because I'm doing circuit training now I need to eat enough good food to have energy, before not doing anything I didnt eat for fuel because I didnt need good fuel, I get thoughts about certain foods or having a binge but I can get over them as hard as it is I have roughly two incidents a month now where I eat compulsively or to make myself feel better but I don't give up now

Its kind of scary though, the existance I have now without binge eating is a little bleak because Im still seen as a fat person but I know if I go long enough my body will find its own good place so will my mind and these cravings will not happen as often.