Punishment. It took me such a long time to figure it out.

I am not interested in food, could live happily without it. I never really crave anything and have never been much on sweets. What happens with me is that I will feel bad about something and punish myself with food abuse. I gorge on junk foods, foods I would not eat unless in binge mode. I finally realized that I either was trying to pass out from a food coma (avoidance of the issue) or stuffing myself in anger or anxiety. When deep in a binge I am in bingeland and don't have to deal with what is bother me.

I feel sick, bloated and so awful for a reason. I press myself into this kind of pain to punish myself for not being good enough or confident enough to take care of whatever issue is at hand.

Knowing this helps in only a small way, doing something about it is the key.

Stress eating for me!

1)Too many moves (some overseas), too much instability and too much change.
2) Family issues....sigh

re:
 

Probably a combination of fast food and depression medication. I had always been a bit overweight but was pretty steady for a long time.

About 10 years ago I was working full time doing undergrad and graduate school and right in the middle of my undergerad I had a baby who turned out to be extremely premature (25 wks).

Between running around everywhere i NEVER cooked. I mean who the heck wants to cook at 10:30 at night when you're finally home. Between work, medical appts, and school all I would eat all day is something from a drive through. Add some anxiety meds on top of that and bang, 80 pounds.

I'm off all meds now, done with school, and my son is now 10 (problems yes, but manageable). So, NOW is the time to get rid of everything I gained plus a bit more. :)


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CocoTruffles, my heart goes out to you. I went through the same thing--laid off and unemployed for a year. I lost my apartment. My furniture and most of my belongings all had to go into storage. I had to live with my inlaws for a year as a newlywed--and anyone who's had to move back in with parents knows that it's worse when you're newlyweds. I went through nervous breakdowns, insomnia, recurring nightmares, you name it. I used to dream the room I was already stuck in most of the time at my inlaws was getting smaller and smaller, boxing me in like a caged animal. I'm incredibly sorry to hear about your job loss and money issues. No one except those who lived through the Dust Bowl really understand how hard it is to be unemployed in this economy--except for the unemployed themselves. I know nothing anyone can say can solve your stress about what's going to happen to your future, but at least know that there are many of us out there going through or having gone through the same thing, and it is nothing to be ashamed of. :hug:

I never realised until I was looking through an old photo album, but I think it began when I was around age 7/8. I was a completely average sized child until this age. Then in the space of about a year, my Grandfather died and I had to switch to a school that I was not happy at.. it's funny, I never considered myself an emotional eater, but it's right there in the photos, I suddenly began gaining weight around age 7/8. Nowadays, I've noticed that I have a tendency to eat when I have spare time, so I try to make sure that I'm doing something, even if it's just a small thing that keeps my hands busy. I also turn to junk when I feel stressed, so I've taken up yoga in the hopes that it will help my mental wellbeing as well as the physical :)

When I was growing up my mom was always buying loaves of bread and eating them on the way home from the store, carrying bags of chocolate in her bag, etc., so I learned very young that that was acceptable behavior. Of course now I know it's not, but I can't seem to get rid of the instinct to eat half a bag of candy in a day.

i grew up thin, but always wanted to eat more than what i should. I held back on getting seconds etc. Looking back, I wonder if I would've been fat had I allowed myself to eat like I do now.

I think food is an addiction for me, one that I just have to make a concious decision to get under control.

For me it was a combination.
Being taught from an early age to not waste food (so eat everything you're given)
Along with a mother raised to keep everyone well fed and utterly resistant to change.

Bad combination.
got around the first by making sure that the amount cooked matches the amount needed.
The second has taken a long time to fix as every previous attempt at weight loss in my family as met with failure (usually within the day). Only difference this time is I've taken an active hand in the cooking process and calculate everything (sometimes for 5 people eating different things.... and I'm the only one that tracks).

For me there are a few reasons:

- Emotional/stress eating. This is the big one. I often use food to send myself into a stupor where I don't have to think about anything. I use it as a pick-me-up if I'm upset or if I'm bored, I use it as a reward, etc. Even thinking about food to distract myself from other tasks or thoughts helps me. Sometimes I think I even 'like' (in a weird way) all the guilt and shame and obsessing that follows a binge, because that too distracts me from other things

- When I'm on a diet, fear of the consequences of being thin (more attention, esp more male attention) makes me want to stuff my face

- I'm naturally a big eater and a food lover. For a long time I defined my identity as a 'foodie', with cooking and eating food as my primary interest and hobby. When I started a diet a couple of years ago I realised I didn't know what my non-food-related hobbies were

- My mother is also a binge eater, and has alternated between obesity and a normal weight throughout her life with the help of strict low-carb diets. I probably picked up some behavioural patterns from her, though in no way would I blame my problems on my family

This is a great question that I am still exploring.
From what I can say right now, overeating is a way that I cope with stress/emotions. There are a lot of things in my life that are out of my control right now and I feel that I deal with this stress and uncertainty through overeating/binge eating. I guess it is a way to soothe myself or reward myself. Also, I think the dieting mentality doesn't help because I overeat due to thinking that when I am losing weight, I will not be able to eat these certain foods.

I'm with those who have never really had a specific issue linked to eating too much. I had a great family and a great life growing up as a kid, and my family was pretty normal-sized. I just really liked food a lot, and so if I wanted it, I ate it. I may have had some issues with not knowing when to stop because I remember being very full a lot of the time, even to the point where it was painful. I hated being hungry, and I got stomach pains that made me feel like throwing up sometimes, so that could have something to do with it too. I continued on into high school and college just eating what I wanted because I liked good food and just wanted to eat it if it was already there. A lot of times I would feel the need to empty a bag or container if I had already started in on it. Now I count my calories and keep track of how many I eat, trying to keep it under or at a specific number each day. Accountability is a major part of losing and keeping my weight off, and probably always will be. I really appreciated hearing everyone's stories on here!

A lot of it for me is emotional eating. Especially the weight that I've put on over the last 10 years. I've always been overweight, but not to the point I'm at now. I'm working on keeping my hands busy during those times of stress, rather than reaching for food.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment or cause, but it was definitely when I went away to college (I was an athlete in high school & never had weight issues). My older sister was killed in a car accident when I was 12 and honestly, we just didn't deal with it well. I was a super-sensitive kid to begin with and what family "knows" how to deal with something like that? Honestly, I just dealt with it by cramming it all inside because I didn't want to upset my (very fragile) mother, my brother was actually in the car accident with my sister and I didn't want him to have to re-live those memories and my dad was just not a "talk about it" kind of guy. So I had a lot of emotional issues for years, but they came out in different ways (suicide attempts, cutting, etc.) - but when I went to college just 6 years later, I was faced with not being the "smartest" kid in class anymore, which was a huge blow. Also, I was surrounded by gorgeous friends (and I felt insecure) and to top it off, all 3 of my best college girlfriends all had older sisters (all 4 years older than them, just like my sister) -so I was pretty darn jealous...and very depressed.

Roll all that up I was a ticking time-bomb. Over-indulging was easy - lots of beer and pizza - and soon, it became very soothing. While I was depressed, insecure and jealous, I would "eat" to sooth - rather than cutting (glad I got over that!). That instant gratification of eating something that tastes good became my way of life - it gave me those little tiny moments of happiness in a world where I was desperately depressed.

I am 100% sure that i started overeating when in middle and high school, my mom would be concerned about my weight (i was NOT fat in middle school, when she started in on me) and tell me not to eat if she saw me snacking. I started to snack EXTRA when she wasn't around, and thus began my dysfunctional relationship with food.

Emotional eating (Stress) coupled with PCOS/IR wackies.

I was not dx'd until 26, but I remember at 10 feeling like "whoa!" after eating a lot of toast with butter and sugar. I know it now to be a blood sugar wigginz.

A.