Oof, messed up again today >.<
I don't get how I can eat until my stomach hurts, yet still eat more...???
Oh well... I was going to take a break from the gym today, but I'll probably be going. Tomorrow will be Day 1. Thankfully, Wednesdays are busy for me...
It begins again tomorrow. I haven't been able to manage my eating in almost a month (or more). I really want this. I want freedom from thinking about food, from binging, purging, wasting money, headaches and my distended stomach.
I want to feel calm, happy, confident, and normal.
There is a potluck at work tomorrow. The office is also full of Christmas treats. I always eat like there is no tomorrow, like this is the last cake, chocolate, sandwich, bag of potatoes chips on Earth. I want this to stop!
Sigh. I went two days eating sensibly and knowing so made me feel so confident! I was happy and proud thinking to myself ' I'm really doing this'. Motherf man! I'm so angry at myself though. Yesterday I went to dinner with my family. I ordered the chicken strip platter (& platter was right!) I split it into two servings but my belly was filled to the brim on the second shot. I ate way faster (and enjoyed it more) at home since I didn't feel pressure to look proper around my family. I don't eat gross in public, they just make me self conscious. Blaaa. Day one stars again today. I'll post what I eat here, that should help.
Today was great. I felt so in control and not obsessed with eating. I was able to sit down and a have a snack after school, feel a little hungry afterwards, but not pig out because of it. I wasn't counting down the minutes until 'Dinnter time', but instead I ate intuitively.
I'm so proud of myself!
My ultimate goal is going to be to end the year 100% binge free. It'll be hard with leftover pie and what not, but I can do it. I will do it!
Day 10 for me is coming to an end! It feels fantastic, absolutely fantastic. Feeling so in control and even made it through work xmas party without binging! I made good food choices, counted my calories, didn't drink any alcohol (oh beer always messes up everything for me) and stayed on track.
I feel like every week, when I binge, the binges get less and less bad. Right now, my biggest problem is forgetting about not binging. When I remind myself of what I am doing, I can stop.
Anyway, today is Day 2. I'm annoyed that I haven't seen the scale drop at all... After managing to gain 8 lbs over Thanksgiving week, I've only lost 1 lb, and I'm pretty sure that was just water weight..
Oh well, I'll keep going.
Day 13...I haven't been eating the best foods lately since I'm on my days off...but I haven't gone over my calorie limit and I haven't binged. I started one day, ate a little more pizza than I should have, but I stopped at the pizza and didn't eat anything else.
I'm trying to get to the point where I can indulge a bit without feeling like its going to turn into a binge.
Day 4... I have a sinus infection, I can't smell or taste anything... Down .2 from 2 weeks ago, but since I skipped weighing in last week, I'm sure it was a bigger loss
I spent the holiday weekend enjoying good food, but I went to bed a little hungry each night and woke up hungry, too, so I hope that's a good sign. Although, the scale says I gained a pound, but I'm sure it's just from eating more than normal, more salt, and much more sugar.
I feel so motivated right now. I'm so excited to finally begin to lose the weight I've gained from binging. I got a jump rope for Christmas, too, and I plan on using it!
hi guys...i've been good last few days...and i definitely indulged a lot...but i work all day so i think i spend a lot more calories than i eat and i hope that after a few days i will see a scale drop.
Ahhhh....back to day 1 tomorrow. Was doing so well until Friday night. Saturday was kinda ok and more or less in control. Was good for antire Sunday until I got home late in the evening and I don't know what kind of devil got into me. I just ate my entire day worth of calories in about 2 hour span.
Anyways, hope you all had a better holidays than i did. Back to day 1 tomorrow. I want to finish the year on a good note!
Tomorrow is 4 months! 
