Fell off the no-bingeing wagon
 

I'm sure there are tons of threads out there about fighting the binge. But here's my current story and question. I, like so many, fight the urge to binge every day. Some times it's stress, some times it's depression, and sometimes it's just boredom. Well tonight for some reason I broke down. But here's the thing. I made the conscious decision to break down. I didn't have any binge worthy food in the house. I'm trying to keep it out. So it's not like I'm fighting not grabbing something that's right in front of my face. But I saw someone eating ice cream on tv and then cinnamon rolls, and that was it. I just wanted to get to the store and buy anything that could relieve the craving. And I did. I bought cinnamon rolls and two things of ice cream. Luckily I haven't eaten them except one of the cinnamon rolls. I decided to come on here instead.

I currently have a nutritionist that I really like. She's non-judgemental and understands that I'm going to slip. But she stresses that my current food behaviors are literally killing me. I have a lot of health issues and I should want to eat healthier to save my life. But why can't I? Why do I follow my cravings instead of my logic? When I'm in these moments, like tonight, I constantly tell myself that I shouldn't be doing this. But I just do it. And then I loathe myself afterwards.

Ugh, what do you do to make the better decision in that split second moment? How do you overcome the bingeing when your own self isn't cooperating with yourself? I know that must sound wierd, but it's like a constant exhausting internal struggle. Any advice?

Well, I'm lucky because I'm way too lazy to go out to get food not in the house.

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time! Do you feel like you are hurting yourself with food because you don't believe you deserve to be happy and to lose weight? I think everyone deserves to be able to not eat foods that undermine them. Maybe if you are feeling stronger you can go toss out what you bought so you can't retrieve it?

I too think Beck is the answer. She has a very comprehensive approach to building your "resistance muscle", starting with small things; it really helps when you feel tempted.

Her books are well worth buying, so that you can read and re-read them. She helps you build good thinking patterns through assignments. You can go back and back to the chapters that help at a particular time.

All the best to you as you get control over your binge eating. First step today might be throwing out the remaining food--salt it if need be. You will feel empowered.

Sometimes I set the timer when I head into the kitchen. I put a 15 minute pause before the binge and I make myself think about what I am about to do. I can't say that I manage to do it each and every time, but I try and it has really helped me many times.

I decided to "talk to myself" before I binge. If I can get just a minute of thinking it through before I binge, I usually will just drink water or eat an apple.. If other people were around me when I talk to myself, they would think I were crazy.....

I talk to myself too. :lol:

I once scared someone in the grocery store, because I grabbed my ginormous bag of my favorite binge food, then said out loud "NO! You don't want to do that!" and put it back on the shelf. The poor guy about 3 feet away from me startled (he was reaching for a bag of chips). Kind of embarrassing to apologize, but I did and he laughed. (maybe it was a nervous laugh, I was too mortified to gauge tone)

I have a couple of people I can call or text about this, who don't tell me "don't do it" but just remind me to take 15 minutes to decide. I'm pretty good now at giving myself 15 minutes too. I do a lot of writing (keeps both hands busy), sometimes I set a time for 15-20 minutes and just pour out what I want to do in words first. Sometimes by the end my brain will have caught up with my gut and the urge passes. I've given myself permission to throw things out even if I just took one bite and it's wasteful.

I have a really supportive partner now, who has no clue what it's like to have food issues, but who is willing to just let me rest my head in his lap or on his shoulder for a few minutes no questions asked.

I love pottery, sometimes I'll go do some handbuilding just to keep my hands busy (wish I liked to knit or crochet, it seems to me that'd be less messy!).

Sometimes I make myself do some exercise (right now my "favorite" is 5 minutes of jump roping, followed by pushups and crunches) before I decide if I'm going to binge or not.

Sometimes I substitute (though I have to be very careful with that, it can be a further trigger with me), especially if I think there might be a legitimate reason why I want to fill myself up (new exercise program, didn't eat enough that day, ect.)

I like computer games, so sometimes I play those. Or surf message boards. ;)