It's so good to read all these posts and identify with you all. I am waking up after a crappy weekend, both food-wise and personally... And I am realizing that those are pretty much one and the same. It was a weekend at my mother-in-law's house for the most part, with so little control over what I can choose to eat and everyone always looking and analyzing what I put in my mouth, too. I've been on track for a month, really attentively working to eliminate the foods that I KNOW are triggers and give me the old bingey feeling. After all that very clean eating for a month, honestly, I only ever saw the scale go down 2 pounds, though I felt so much better and like I could handle facing myself and not hiding in the "shame closet".
If there is one thing I can say for sure, it's that calm, moderate, and nourishing eating completely changes how I feel about life in general, whether or not it makes a physical difference on the scale yet. I found myself feeling hopeless and disgusting after eating junk all weekend, and realized what an AWFUL PERSON I turned into towards my friends and family, just because I was having a battle with food, a battle I just went ahead and let myself fall into.
When we don't feel proud of the way we are feeding our bodies, it's so easy to not present our best selves to the world or give our best to our loved ones. Hating that I ate pizza and chips made me all weepy and impatient and pissed at my family, which left me depressed, which made me binge more. Not a fun cycle! So I say this morning, as a new week starts, I HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED. No extremes, just calm eating, clear-headedness, and accountability, and I will both like myself better and be better for those I care about.
Does anyone else notice this connection between how we eat and how we treat others and approach the world? I just see it so clearly, that in a binge mindset, there's no capacity for me to be the generous, tolderant, loving person I want to be. And THAT is something To be embarrassed about, to think I would let food prevent me from being a good wife, sister, stepmother, daughter, friend, etc.
Okay, just my little revelation to add to the bunch
