Finally Broke Down
 

I haven't binged since the very beginning of summer.. until today, just now.

Needless to say, it was a bad one and I am very disappointed that I let the monster give in. Over the past summer, I spent it out of town (in the city I grew up in) with old friends because this upcoming Monday I am leaving to join the military. This summer was spent doing CrossFit at least 5 days a week. I felt great doing it and even better because my eating was kept beyond control. I ate great without thinking about it because that's the way I like to eat. The workouts made my legs bigger due to muscle mass, but the fat is still there too. I gained over 10 pounds since the beginning of summer and for the last week it has really been getting to me. Where I was, it was very warm so I wore shorts and dresses everyday. Now home is getting chilly and I fit into NONE of my jeans.
Like I said, I'm leaving next monday and I don't want to arrive at bootcamp feeling huge. It's only Tuesday, so I CAN buckle down and eat clean and at least go into it feeling better even though I know I won't drop any true pounds.

I just wanted to confess my binge and express my sadness and anxiety. I am very much looking forward to spending 2 months in a place where I wont have time to think about eating when anxious; there wont be any food to grab and snack on! I want to love my body, and even more, my self. I haven't felt this feeling in months and I can say that I did not miss it at all.

Thanks for reading. Good luck to everyone battling both their constant and unexpected monsters, and congrats to everyone who continues to win their battles!

What's worse.. that I ate enough (I'd say over 1500 easy) to make me sick or that I don't even feel THAT sick, just extremely bloated. :/

It takes 3500 calories to gain a pound so you didn't even come close to that.

*hugs*

It is wonderful you had gone so long without a binge! Try not to beat yourself up over the mishap. And get right back on the wagon :)

:hug:

Tomorrow is a new day!

I want to thank you for joining the military and the service you will be providing for our country :)

Thanks everyone! I definitely did get right back on the wagon and tried my best to go on like it didn't happen (but I did pay more attention to foods the next few days, didn't want to risk any triggers!)
Everyday is a new day, and every meal is an opportunity to get back on track and thats what I did.

Thank you for the support!