I binged yesterday
I was doing good all day yesterday then I got depressed and started eating a bunch of snacks I had in my drawer at work. Before long I ate more then 500 calories then I had allotted for myself that day. At this point I felt why not go all out so even though I ate dinner already (Salad with grilled chicken) I stopped at McDonalds and got two double cheese burgers, fries and a hot fudge sundae. Then when I got home I continued my binge on cookies and other snacks. I was afraid to get on the scale this morning.
Needless to say I am sick about it. It seems like I keep doing this more and more often. Its been two and a half years that I have changed my lifestyle and have dropped over 230lbs. It seems like over the past 6 months I would binge maybe once or twice a month at most but now it seems like not a week goes by and do this to myself more and more often. I am stuck in the mid 160's with my weight loss and I think a good deal of it has to do with my binge'ing I get back down to this number then when I binge I can gain up to 10lbs in 1 day. It usually takes at least 3 days to get back to where I was or more sometimes. Then it seems to start all over again. My workouts are good. I can do that and not even think of skipping a day. I enjoy going to the gym. I try to burn about 1400 calories a day and I eat around 2100. I think my matabolism is not that of a normal person from all my years of yoyo dieting or I would be loosing weight. This is the lowest weight I've been since I was a teenager. I am thinking of joining a addiction group but Im not sure if it will help. Does anyone have any advise? I think the main thing I get depressed about are my flabby arms. Summer is here and everyone is wearing sleveless shirts. I cant wear them do to embarrassement and also can't any surgeries to get my skin issues fixed. I have just recently stepped up my strength training routine. I do arm weights now three times a week plus pull-ups and tricep push-ups. I guess if I knew this would help eventually I would be more optimistic. |
I completely understand. I had reached my goal weight, and stress lead me to binge eat for 9 straight months.
I have to accept that this is an illness, that I will struggle with all of my life. I feel it is similar to alcoholics, that know that just because they are in control does not mean they are healed. It might help you to join a group for people with Eating Disorders, but you need to seek the help that you know you need. Surround yourself with people who understand your struggle, so that you have a support team in place. And take it one day at a time. |
I do think that it's wroth trying to get into a group like Overeaters Anonymous. There's also a group called TOPS that I've heard is good from people on this board, although I haven't tried it myself. I would recommend not keeping foods that trigger your binges in your desk drawer or anywhere else. I also have a binge eating disorder so I do understand. :hug: It helps me to avoid foods that trigger me. I also keep gum with me at all times so that I chew on it when I get the muchies. I try to take things one day at a time or else I start to wonder things like....when is the next time I'll ever be able to have x, y, or z? Truth is I have things all the time due to the binges, but I'd like to limit it. It's great that you workout!!! Maybe when you want to binge, you could tell yourself to first do some push-ups or go for a walk? Try to make a list of things that might help you specifically. For me, I struggle at night when my kids go to bed. I wanna binge sooo bad. I have 15 calorie popsicles that I will eat...I'll have as many as 6, but that still doesn't add up to all that may calories.
Regarding the arm flab, give it some time. It takes time for the skin to shrink back. What I do is I wear tank tops and then something very light over it to cover the arms. The problem with disliking a body part is that it can lead to feelings of frustration or inadequacy and then lead to poor eating choices. Embrace your body and focus on all of the things that it CAN do! Think of how many people out there would love to have a body that can do so much. :hug: |
I feel your pain. After doing well all week, I have eaten a whole peanut butter pie within 12 hours. How pathetic! Whats even worse is that I was miserable the whole time I was eating it... Disgusted that I failed myself again,trying to come up with a way to explain a whole pie missing from the fridge, sometimes I hate myself.
Although it is much harder than it sounds, we need to move on from it and start fresh. Now if we could just do that! |
I don't have anything to tell you. I am about 15 pounds over goal myself because I can't seem to go more than a week or two without binging. There is a DEFINITE connection between dieting/restriction and binging, like two extremes of a swinging pendulum, but it's extremely hard to know how to deal when you come from a history of being overweight and not caring about what you eat. "Intuitive eating" is touted as the ideal way of maintaining and achieving a healthy weight, but for those of us who have either been fat or actively trying to lose weight our entire lives, intuition doesn't come naturally when eating is involved.
I guess I just want to offer you my support and let you know you're not alone in this. |
I don't have good advice about joining an addiction group, since I haven't been to one before, so my advice is not the best, but I hope it helps :)
I started to notice that I have a binging problem this year. My first binging experience started 9 years ago, and it stopped just as fast as it started. The problem only lasted a few weeks. However, since the beginning of this year, I started binging again. For me, I think I do it because of my self esteem issues, feeling sad, and also when I restrict (when dieting) as KRAMPUS has mentioned as well. Since you have lost so much weight, your skin now is a bit loose, and makes you feel ashamed and lowers your self esteem. You said you ate very well yesterday, but then got depressed. What made you feel depressed? Is it your skin on your arms? Being stuck in the 160's? Something at work? That's when you started to eat the snacks in your work desk drawer. Are they healthy snacks? If not can you switch them to healthier snacks that you won't want to binge on? After eating these snacks, you realized that you had one too many, but then you thought "Why not go all out and get more food at McDonald's?"--is this a familiar voice you heard in the past when you were overweight? Maybe you've done this before when you were overweight, and this was your usual way of dealing with the depression/stress/self-esteem issues. Everything would be going well...then a slip-up happens...then you realize you messed up...and then instead of controlling the damage, you just let yourself sink into it. This is a habit that you haven't completely freed yourself from since you've started to lose the weight 2.5 years ago. Look at me, it came back 9 years later. You said you enjoy going to the gym every day, doing 1400 calorie burn workouts, and perhaps your consistency in working out really hard and even enjoying it may be making you feel conflicted about it (when you're not working out) since you've been "stuck" in the 160's and not seeing much result from the hard work you put in. However, you mentioned that you think the plateau may be due to the binging and perhaps an abnormal metabolism from yo-yo dieting. In my opionion, all of this just seems like you are putting yourself in a bad cycle every week: working out hard, eating right, and binging due to stalled weight loss/feeling bad/slip-up in diet/whatever. Now if only you could stop the binging, you could then begin to lose more weight, focus on the arms, and feel better about yourself. The good thing is that you noticed it's happening once a week. When that time comes around this week, focus on what's causing the binging, and hone in on what's going on during that time. Hormones can be the problem too, change in BC, TOM. Remember any thoughts that come to your mind and write them down quickly so you'll be able to figure it out once your mind is back to normal, and not thinking about food. If food is the only thing you're thinking of, write down the types of food you are thinking of. Maybe it's the type of food, and you're having a food craving, which can be a symptom of nutrients that you're lacking in your every day diet, thus every 5th or 6th day, you crave that nutrient (fat/sodium). So record the food you eat. Another thing I'd like to comment on is your calorie deficit. You have 2100 cals, but burn off 1400 of them, leaving only 700 for you to survive on each day. Is that really enough for you to tend to your daily activities? Even if you laid in bed all day, a 25-35 year old woman of your height and weight needs1,494-1,444 just to live and and let your cells carry on their metabolic functions (BMR). So I would re-think your calorie requirement and exercise routine. This may help you stop the binge problem. Wouldn't that be great?! Eat less, work out less, more time to enjoy life, and less stress. No matter how much you love the gym, I'm sure you have other things you'd much rather do, and doing these things will help keep your mind occupied, and not thinking too much about food. Anyhoo, I hope you realize you're not alone when it comes to binge eating, and I do hope that you feel better after today. You've come along so far in your weight loss journey, and despite this stall right now, you will go even further! Just know that you will! As for your arms, you're arms will get more toned. Keep going and going. And when it's too painful...go some more! Those arms will get toned and tight. And you'll get to your goal weight. 50 pounds ago you knew you would. 100 pounds ago you did as well. And 230 pounds ago, you perhaps had an inclination. Now look at you! |
Thanks everyone for the posts. The words of wisdom and support really helped. Im back on track now. I threw away those snacks that where triggering my binges and will not keep them around me anymore. As for my arms Ill take everyones advise and just keep working on tightning and toning them. I know it just takes time and I'll keep that in mind when I get depressed about the flab next time. I may go to a support group this Thursday with a friend of mine who has also lost a lot of weight and is having simular issues. I hope I can stay binge free and finally reach my goal. After all that is what is the most important thing to me right now. Thanks Everyone! i really do appriciate you taking the time to post and bringing up my spirts. :)
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