Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 07-11-2011, 08:48 AM   #76  
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Thanks!

Yesterday was TOUGH but I made it for the first time. Yes, I pretty much had brought on the cravings yesterday so I could experience it fully and let me tell you - it was not easy. Pretty much I brought on the cravings but thinking about it. The more I thought the more they came on.

So here's the cycle. The cravings initially lasted for a few HOURS with up and down times. Eventually the cravings passed, and I began to feel fatigued (most likely from fighting them off/resisting them). Eventually the fatigue passed, and then I started to develop self-hateful thoughts such as I'm a failure, feelings of fear, I'm fat, I'm worthless. I never experienced that before. It was extremely scary. And then it got to the point where I literally got a PUSH to binge! Like, without my control I stood up and started heading to the fridge. At that point, I said enough!! I knew I had lost control. I got out of my home immediately and went for a walk and listened to music. I came back about 30 minutes later, and it was all over. I felt better and gave myself a huge pat on the back and was literally screaming in joy. Eventually I went to bed and go figure - those damn cravings and fatigue started kicking in again but I fought them off.

I can tell you right now my binging is 100% psychologically related. It is not due to "dieting", deprivation, or anything like that. I don't even LIKE ice cream. I could go without it. I don't need it or even want it. Yet, my binge monster craves it like no other. I am so sick of hearing how binging is due to dieting. I'm not even DIETING to begin with. I'm eating food I like such as brown rice, broccoli, chicken, meats, etc. I don't WANT ice cream, but my "binge monster" does. They say binging is due to depriving yourself but I think it's crap. I bet it COULD be but not for me. I can literally initiate the urge to binge with my very own thoughts in a matter of seconds. It's pulling myself out that's the hard part because once I snap into that binge mode - I lose myself. I noticed that yesterday actually. The urge pretty much lasted all day and the more it went on, the more depressed I got as I fought it. You know how they say to stay alert and aware? The longer I fought the binging, the more of it I became. I was losing myself and started to become the binge itself. That's why it's so hard to stop - because you become something that isn't you.

I don't care if my body craves ice cream and all that crap anymore. I am not going to take it anymore. I REFUSE TO LET THIS WIN. I am so fed up with this I am just sick and tired of dealing with it. I am not going to let this "alternate persona" take over myself anymore. If my body wants to crave, I'll let it crave. I'll let it crave for hours but I will never give in. I am on Day 2 of binge free and right now I can tell you I am extremely moody and irritable. My body is sending some cravings out again and making me very irritable but I am fighting them off. I don't care anymore. I'm standing my ground NOW. This has taken over my life for too long and it's time for me to throw the punches.

Last edited by buildx87; 07-11-2011 at 08:55 AM.
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Old 07-11-2011, 03:33 PM   #77  
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While I'm resisting a binge, I find it helpful to talk to my body.

I tell it that I, my spirit man, am in charge here, and that I, my spirit man, don't want to binge. I, my spiriti man, I tell my body, want to eat healthy, but you body, would kill me if I listened to you. You would just binge binge binge until I die. But I won't let you, because that's not what I want. I want to be healthy and free. So you, body, just get over it. Just shut up. I'm in control here.

Last edited by triasa; 07-11-2011 at 03:38 PM.
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Old 07-11-2011, 04:20 PM   #78  
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When you think about something so much, that thought becomes reality. You're then left wondering why you did it and what caused it. I will speak for myself, and probably many bingers - but your thoughts are creating your binging. You haven't learnt to accept those thoughts so they're left hovering around doing their thing. You need to accept your THOUGHTS, not your cravings. Do not give into a binge for one day. For one day, do not binge. You will suffer severe cravings, but I want you to pay attention to your thoughts, not what your craving.

And I did that. I literally woke up yesterday morning and told my disease to come fight me. I told it to unleash all **** upon me and I would stand my ground. And guess what? It did. And there were times I was about to give up, go to bed, and wake up and give in. I craved and craved all day like a mother. It would not stop no matter what I did. I even unconsciously started craving food and losing touch with myself. I started heading to the fridge atr one point. But I stuck in touch with myself because I wanted to experience this. As my cravings continued, I kept staying in touch with myself paying attention to what I was thinking. Below are most of those thoughts from yesterday:

- I'll never be able to make it a day without binging
- I'll never make it a week without binging
- I'll never be able to be in shape
- I'm fat
- I'm a failure
- I deserve to die
- I am sick and tired of fighting these cravings
- What am I craving? Is it something else? Is it really food?
- Should I fix my diet? Will that cure my problem?
- Do I need more carbs or fats in my diet?

I was craving food because my thoughts above were triggering the cravings. You see, what basically has happened is when I thought any of the above thoughts, I never processed them before and let myself experience them. If I felt fat and thought that, it would trigger cravings which would lead me to binge. Then you get in a cycle. You think you're fat, that triggers cravings, and you binge. You're brain is literally wired to shoot off cravings anytime you have a specific thought because at some point you wired yourself to feel good when you thought that. Well, binging was great for me at first but then it lost it's touch. It took more and more calories each time to reach that high. Eventually, it just quit working all together, and I wondered why I was still binging. Well, because every thought above was wired to trigger cravings.

The very thought of "I'm fat" would lead me to a 7,000 calorie binge. I would think I'm fat, then I would start to diet, and guess what? The thoughts of thinking I'm fat, thinking I'm going to diet were enough to send me to the supermarket.

When I think of the thought "I'll never be able to go a week without binging", that triggers me off. But that is just a thought and I can deal with it. Right now my method of dealing with these thoughts is letting it sink in. So, a little bit earlier this morning I thought "I'll never be able to go a week without binging". Not too long after that I started craving food and then I told myself "The thought of me not going a week without binging triggered this". So now I am letting the craving from that thought run it's course. It's still stuck with me a little but I'm letting it's run it's course. I'm saying "Hello mr. week free binging thought how are you?? " while he nags me to run to the ice cream store.

This is why dieting does not work to cure binging. Even if you lost weight and looked incredible, I gaurentee you will be on the path to weight gain. Why? Because your THOUGHTS still will run rampant, unprocessed, and not stood up to. You need to first recognize your thoughts, and then out loud, acknowledge them for what they are. THOUGHTS.

You think you'll never be able to make it a week without binging? Then that becomes your reality. No matter how good of a week you have it can all come crashing down when you are alone and least expect it.

You think it's hard to beat this? Then it will be hard.

I am convinced you can beat this demon if you just experience your thoughts and accept them for what they are - thoughts. They have no relevance. They have no truth or meaning. They are just thoughts. Something that flows through your brain. How you interpret, act, and respond to those thoughts are HUGE. No amount of willpower can beat this disorder because I am convinced it really is all in your head. The only person that can stop it is you. The power lies within!

When this all started, I was binging because it was comforting me for not having a girlfriend. It was filling the void of love. I realized that but kept binging anyways and I asked myself why? I would try to diet, lose weight, exercise, but nothing would stop the binging. The binging continued because it was too late. I got stuck in a vicious cycle of guilt, and linking negative thoughts to food. Eventually it got so out of control and I lost touch of reality and my own thoughts.

See, too many of us go on about our daily lives and don't pay attention to what we think. We don't stay in flow with our thoughts and emotions. We live our lives, do our work, come home, and repeat the process. We put ourselves on the backshelf. And then at some point something bad happens, a thought comes into our head, and without thinking we start a specific behavior in response to it. That is what I believe the first part of creating an addiction.

So I am telling any bingers right now to let yourself experience a day binge free, but don't fight the craving. The craving is not your enemy. Instead, focus on your thoughts. It will be hard, but you can do it. The toughest part for me is my thoughts were becoming the craving. They were so powerful that I was losing touch with reality and I was BECOMING my thoughts! But staying in tune with your thoughts is key. Cravings have multiple parts, but they are mainly just thoughts.

I hope this helps someone that is struggling. Granted it's been a few days for me, I am literally mastering my cravings at this point. Yes, this fast! I am paying attention to my thoughts and that is key. Yesterday I thought I would not make it through the day without binging. That thought generated a craving for me because I linked that thought with ice cream binging. Well, today the thought "I won't make it through today without binging" and guess what? It didn't initiate a craving because I experienced that thought yesterday without giving in!

Last edited by buildx87; 07-11-2011 at 04:25 PM.
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Old 07-20-2011, 09:43 AM   #79  
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This is really interesting. I have been reading about how our thoughts make our reality a great deal lately. How easy it can be to randomly allow the same thoughts to go through your head over and over until your body complies and does what you are telling it. It is as if you not only have to choose your thoughts carefully but you also have to choose what you allow yourself to listen to when other people are telling you things as well so that they don't influence your thoughts.

When I was in highschool I went through some crazy issues thinking I was fat. I was a pretty normal weight, 125lbs. I exercised 2 hours a day and ate very small amounts of food and was hungry all the time, but thought maybe if I skipped meals i would be able to become thinner all the while thinking I was so fat. I would look in the mirror every morning and tell myself I was ugly and fat literally out loud. I even reached a point where I could not look at any part of my body outside of my face cause I just felt so fat and disgusted with myself.

It didnt help either that my mom criticized me all the time and family members made fun of my body and the way I looked telling me thing like I had no neck and I was flat footed and I walked like a duck and making fun of the size of my breasts. I even had a family member that was constantly telling me I was going to get fat and I was going to be fat. Then one day I just got tired of feeling like i was at war with my body and I just started eating! I literal watched myself get bigger and bigger and when I got to college I kept right on eating and carrying all that shame and frustration with me. It wasn't till I had a guy tell me he thought I was pretty that I even saw the slightest glimmer of hope but that was short lived.

I believed I was fat and ugly and I literally was transforming into what I thought I was. I would go to the cafeteria and buy tons of junk and go back to my dorm and when my roommates were not around I would eat it. or I would hang out in a empty class room and eat.

Our thoughts literally shape our future with every single second that we think them. After years Of feeling fat and disgusted and trying to fight it and being scared of turning into a fat person I actually was watching myself become what I always thought I was.

The funny thing is though that it took many years to learn is that you can think yourself thin as well and that is the journey I am on right now. I look in the mirror and I praise my beauty no matter how I look. I am learning to not allow others insecurities to effect how I see myself though it can be very hard. I suffer from binge eating and I started watching my cards and limiting them with the intention of slowly reducing them so that I can see just how much I should or should not eat when it comes to sugars and bread.

I made up my mind to change the negative thoughts one thought at a time and not to obsess on them to the point of frustration. I believe I can get this under control and your story is inspirational cause it really shows how our body does exactly what we tell it to through our thoughts and then through our actions. best of luck on your journey.
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Old 07-20-2011, 11:22 PM   #80  
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To me this sounds like an obsessive compulsive behavior, if you get a little anxious and upset when not binging then it can easily be OCD.

A medical Dr needs to also check your blood to check for vitamin deficiency.

Other then that chill with working out try 3 times a week, try finding other hobbies, etc. If you are afraid of gaining weight back this can psychologically make you react and rebel against yourself, if that makes sense,

Thank you,
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Old 10-06-2017, 06:04 AM   #81  
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Originally Posted by buildx87 View Post
Well I lost it today unfortunately. Just finished a 4,500 calorie binge.

It started this morning. I abruptly woke up around 5am this morning and headed straight to the fridge and ate an entire box of "organic" cheerios with a ton of milk!! I have no idea why either. I didn't even feel consciously alert. I just woke up and ATE a whole box of cheerios!! This was probably the beginning stages of the binge.

After I ate it I went right back to bed and woke up. I woke up and I asked myself what happened but I really did eat the whole box. I started getting hungry around 11am. It was legit hunger (hunger paigns, stomach cramp, etc). So I ate some oatmeal..then some tuna..then a 1/2 cup of brown rice..and then another 1/2 cup of brown rice. So a little bit after that I went to the store and did my weekly grocery shopping. Bought pretty much anything that looked good for the week (I'm not too strict)...bought 10 protein bars (to last me through the week), box of cereal, chicken, lean red meat, tuna, veggies, apples, cottage cheese, fruits, etc. Felt perfectly fine and in control when I was buying all this stuff. Didn't even think about taking it home and binging.

Well I got in my car and I immediately started thinking of those protein bars. Especially the chocolate peanut butter one. I ate one in my car and game over. Thoughts such as "I am going to eat them all" started to intrude my head. I ate another, then another..and then...

Here I am finishing off all 10 bars PLUS the whole box of cereal. At least I didn't eat the ice cream but dang..I binged!!!

Right now I feel relieved and the cravings/urges/thoughts have subsided. I did not snap out of it until I finished eating all the protein bars and cereal. Of course I have thoughts such as "this will never happen again" which is obviously not true. I see my therapist tomorrow so I'll discuss this. I also have a self-help book on the way that I am going to start reading.

I am not upset so much that I went on excess calories, I am upset I gave into it. That's what bothers me the most. I understand that you can always lose weight and cut down. Granted I am not "happy" I am gaining weight from doing this, it's losing the fight that bothers me.
Dude I created an account And went through the verification process just to say that this comment made me laugh harder and longer than I have in the last year. I'm sorry if this comes across in a negative manner, it's more or less your writing. Dude this is gold.
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Old 10-31-2017, 11:31 AM   #82  
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Originally Posted by BowandArcher View Post
I have a mother for a nurse and it sounds to me like your body is lacking a nutrient or vitamin. If I were you Ide go see a doctor and get some blood work done. I was the same way at one time. turned out it was an iron and potassium deficiency. I was eating raw potatoes and a crap load of bananas and i didnt know why.
This is a great answer
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