24 year old with severe binge eating problem..please help - Page 4 - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community


Chicks in Control Overeating? Binging? Share uplifting support and gain control!

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Old 06-23-2011, 11:01 PM   #46  
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I read all the posts just now, I really feel like i've been though alot of what you did. Almost 3 yrs for me of measuring, counting, exercising and watching every bite drives you crazy after a while. My lowest weight was 104 and everyone was telling me I was too skinny, I didn't believe them. To me I looked fine. Binging started after I lost all the weight, i think the restriction for so long caused it. I didn't cheat at all and ate all clean til the weight was gone. I recently realized that there is so much more to life than obsessing and trying to be perfect. I've been feeling happier, less stressed & 9 days binge free. I know I have to be careful with my eating, but am much less obsessed about food and constant eating. Just be happy! That is the answer! Oh, by the way, my husband is 6'1 & weighs 174, he looks fine, not too skinny at all. Lots of luck to you!
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Old 06-24-2011, 01:30 AM   #47  
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well, here's what i see. You are burned out. your adrenal glands are gone. that causes the shakiness, moodiness, DESPERATE need for sweets and stimulants...as well as salty foods. Stress has done a number on you. Low adrenal glands and you can not regulate your blood sugar so well.

i am new to the body type diet, but not the endocrine issues behind adrenal fatigue. You need rest and relaxation NOT low calories and high exercise. I know it seems contradictory but what you really need is to destress and exercise and low cal STRESSES your body even more.

another thing, you are not alone.

some ways to help your adrenal glands are low simple carbs, no caffeine, and avoid eating red meats. no meat or salt with breakfast. light protein for lunch with some good carbs and dinner is your heaviest meal. good protein, good complex carbs, some fruit.

if you want to know more read up on body type diet.
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Old 06-26-2011, 06:48 PM   #48  
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A lot of this started yesterday. A little bit after I worked in the morning, I came home and was trying to enjoy myself and play some games. Of course, the cravings started kicking in. Here I am, trying to RELAX and play video games and BE HAPPY, yet I start craving FOOD and start thinking about it. I tried to keep playing my game yet thoughts kept intruding my mind. I managed to overcome yesterday's cravings, I gave myself CREDIT for it at the end of the night as well, but then...I woke up this morning and all I was thinking about was food. I wasn't physically hungry yet my cravings were through the roof. Right as I woke up!!! Well, as I was going to the store to do my weekly grocery shopping, I consciously told myself "You are in control. Go get the foods you NEED, they are for this week only, and you will be okay". I went to the store, got stuff that looked good, and I came home. I ate breakfast and felt fine. Didn't even buy ice cream or anything, just normal food like bread, peanut butter, cereal, yogurts, brocolli...

I started trying to play a video game, but I got distracted about food - and all I could think about was food at that point. I kept trying to play the game which I was doing yet I was thinking about FOOD. Can I not even enjoy myself without these thoughts? It got to the point to where I could not even concentrate on what I was doing, and I just wanted to eat. At that point, I started binging. I literally ate all the food I bought. A whole jar of peanut butter, half loaf of bread, two boxes of cereal...

This is so bad right now. If I didn't have these cravings, I would not be binging. I was fine all week while I was with someone else, yet I come back on my own and I am binging again. This is to the point now where I am unable to even enjoy activities I want to like. I am unable to even live my own life. At this point, I am asking myself what the point of my life is anymore. I won't carry anything out - but seriously I have so much to be thankful for, and there are people that would die to have my life. I have a nice apartment, money, a good job, I am a goo guy, and all I do is get sabotaged with binge eating urges,

WHAT DO I WANT RIGHT NOW - I want to come home and just relax, play a video game, and be free. Instead, I come home and am unable to do anything without thoughts of food intruding my mind. I can't sit down and play a game without thinking about food. I already know what the causes of my binging are and I know food will not cure it, yet deep down inside my subconscious still acts on the behavior.

Here is my main question. I already know what events lead up to this. I already know why I am eating. I know food will not cure any of the issues - yet I still keep eating. WHY? Why am I eating knowing that food won't help AT ALL? I'll still be single tomorrow. I'll still come home by myself tomorrow. This tells me one thing - there must be another reason for my binge eating. So everything I thought was the cause is not because I am still doing it. Could that be right?

Why can't I just come home and enjoy it. I am living the life I have always wanted to life yet food keeps intruding my mind. I don't even want to do this anymore either, but my subconscious is obviously causing this push. This is what happened today. The cravings kicked in, I then start to panic and ask myself why I am experiencing these cravings even knowing what triggered them, my stress and anxiety levels get out of control, and then when I start binging I feel incredibly relaxed. But why I am getting cravings even though I know what causes them? You would think me knowing that and knowing food won't help would stop them but they don't. So then I start thinking there's another reason and that causes me to freak out, get stressed/anxious/depressed and binging because I feel like I have no control.

WHY in God's name do I keep experiencing cravings knowing that food will never fix any of my problems. If someone can answer that, it would help me out a lot.

Last edited by buildx87; 06-26-2011 at 06:59 PM.
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Old 06-26-2011, 07:30 PM   #49  
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Knowing what triggers and causes a binge can help in a situation, but simply knowing the cause does not automatically mean you know the cure.

That's like a doctor coming in and saying that you have a disease... but just knowing it doesn't mean the disease disappears! They have to treat the disease once they know what it is.

Knowing the problem is a lot better than being in the dark about it, but that's really only the beginning.

I'll use myself as an example. I know that boredom/loneliness is the cause of a LOT of my emotional eating. But, just knowing that won't automatically help me the next time I'm bored/lonely. The cravings are still going to come up. It's up to me to recognize and then solve the emotional problem.

However, solving emotional problems can be a difficult thing, and while I'm working to solve ... the cravings don't just disappear! Saying to myself "I know why I'm craving xxx... because I'm lonely!" doesn't mean I immediately stop being lonely and therefore stop craving. The emotions stick around until I deal with them properly. Heck, they might even always be a little bit there in the background until I've turned better habits into second nature.

Dealing with them properly differs from person to person. Some people need to find a hobby. Others need to reach out. Some might have to start a new activity.

Pointing out a problem does not solve it. It's only step one. Step two is figuring out what activities help you individually to deal with the emotion itself. Some people need more help with this than others.

I logically know that eating a huge cake won't solve my problems, but that doesn't mean I don't sometimes think about eating a huge cake. Logic doesn't always automatically trump emotional thought processes.
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Old 06-26-2011, 07:41 PM   #50  
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buildx87, food is like any other addiction, like cigarettes. I believe that everyone who smokes know WHY it's bad and a lot of people want to stop but the cravings take hold. Smokers know it's bad for them, know what it does to their body and yet they still can't stop. Smoking doesn't help but when you have one, it relaxes you.

So with any craving and/or addiction, it's a lot about being aware of your triggers, facing them and lots of discipline. Your body is use to when you have these cravings, you give into them and give it what it wants. As I heard someone say on the forum earlier, sometimes you have to treat your body like a bratty child. It screams and yells that it wants something, even though you know it doesn't need it, and you have to be strict and tell them no. They might still throw a tantrum but eventually, the kid will forget about it and move on. Your body will do the same.

Binging is hard to control but I think that since you already know what triggers your cravings, take steps to avoid the binging. Do something completely different from what you normally do when experiences your cravings.

Discipline and determination. YOU are in control of your body, your body is NOT in control of you.

Good luck! You'll be able to fight off these cravings and get back on track.
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Old 06-26-2011, 07:44 PM   #51  
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Have you tried doing something physical instead of playing video games? In your last post, you binged because thoughts kept coming into your head while playing games. What about when you feel like you need to binge, walk around the block a few times, or jog a little? Could you do a bit of weight lifting or bodyweight exercises? Seriously, doing a good amount of exercises suppresses my appetite for awhile. Even if you don't do that, you have to try something different. It has been said, "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity". You shook things up when you went to a friends, but you're not cured and you might never be cured. But, if you try to maybe shake up your home life by doing different things than you might usually do or want to try, you may curb some of those intense cravings. Why not go to a movie with a friend instead of sitting at home by yourself? Go hiking? Get involved with a community activity, volunteer organization or sport?
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:50 PM   #52  
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Well I have cooled off a little bit and gathered my emotions.

As hard as it is to admit, it was missing love that I was trying to generate again. I know I mentioned that earlier, but I seemed to just completely lose consciousness with myself today and let myself go.

Well, I am feeling a little better now. I just went in the bathroom and looked at myself dead in the mirror. I said this to myself:

"-----, I love you. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. I forgive you, I have your back, and I will take care of you".

I then proceeded to kiss myself in the mirror just like I would a girl. I looked back at myself and started balling my eyes out. I sat down, and that incredible heavy feeling I get in my chest slowly turned into a glowing, comforting feeling.

This whole week I was focused on everything outside what really needs nurturing - and that is self love. I did "other" side things I thought would make me love myself like cleaning my place, playing more games, but that isn't how to show myself love. The real way to do it is telling myself in the mirror, face to face.

I am going to make a note now everyday to practice self love. I will do things such as telling myself this each day, kissing myself in the mirror (I know that sounds weird but it works), and I will myself on a date this Saturday night to the movies. My outside says that sounds lonely, but my inside is crying out for love.
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Old 06-26-2011, 08:56 PM   #53  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by buildx87 View Post
"-----, I love you. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. You're the greatest. I forgive you, I have your back, and I will take care of you".

I am going to make a note now everyday to practice self love. I will do things such as telling myself this each day, kissing myself in the mirror (I know that sounds weird but it works), and I will myself on a date this Saturday night to the movies. My outside says that sounds lonely, but my inside is crying out for love.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:06 PM   #54  
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Hugs, hun. Self love is hard for most people, and for some it is especially hard. There have been times that I truly have hated myself just for being fat, because if I had that one shortcoming, in my mind it overshadowed all of my amazing accomplishments. I am so glad you're coming to terms with your loneliness, sadness, and need for love.
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Old 06-26-2011, 09:49 PM   #55  
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((hugs)) been thinking of you and following this thread from the start, even though i don't have any real concrete advice to give
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:08 PM   #56  
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I had been a binge eater for over 35 years. Last year I did an online program called Shrink Yourself by Dr. Roger Gould. He also wrote a book by the same name. It really helped me so much, and I don't believe I would have broken free from my bingeing under my own strength.
I highly recommend the program!

Sue
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:43 PM   #57  
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Sounds like you get cravings every time you play video games. My husband said he always thinks of food when he plays video games and he doesn't even have a problem w/ binging. Could video games have subliminal messages in them? Even if they don't, they might be a trigger for you somehow. You should try not playing for a week or two, to see if it helps.
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Old 06-26-2011, 10:46 PM   #58  
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buildx87,

Sometimes there really is no cause or reason for binging. I think it's really important to accept that you don't always have control over the urges and you can't explain them away. You sound incredibly lonely in your struggle, and I just want you to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE and there are so many people everywhere with "perfect" lives who struggle with binge eating and food addiction. Have you considered a face-to-face support group?
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Old 06-27-2011, 03:02 PM   #59  
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It is great that you are identifying the things that trigger you. I struggle with TV and video games too, particularly if I am alone. My brain automatically associates TV with food. I agree with the other posters that suggested to find something else to do instead that keeps you mind off of food and makes you happy. Sometimes I play music and dance around my living room like a fool, but it makes me feel good and keeps me away from the food.

As for dealing with the need to be loved, it sounded from your previous post that you are close with your mom. I am sure she loves you very much. Use your friends and family as an asset in your recovery. Whenever you are feeling lonley or unworthy call on them to help you pick yourself up and assure yourself that you are a good person and that you are doing a great job!

Also, the mirror thing is not weird at all, it actually has scientific merit. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, like telling yourself you are a good person and imagining yourself in a positive relationship, it releases the same brain chemicals (seritonin) as whe you binge. You get te feel good feeling without the negitive health effects. I say if it works, go for it and don't feel weird about it at all.
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Old 06-28-2011, 08:51 AM   #60  
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This morning my cravings kicked in on the way to work. I don't recall any specific thoughts except thinking about a girl I was dating (who I no longer even want), and then I was slowly developing a need for something.

I am sitting here just thinking about what it is I need or want right now. What is it I'm craving? I've obviously tried to replace that with food in the past, a desire to have a girlfriend, drinking, weight loss, a cleaner apartment, money, and now self love/appreciation - yet none of that seems to fulfill the void.

So what's wrong? I don't get it. This has been going on two years now and I can't figure it out. Something does not seem right at this moment. I feel like something is missing, or I have something engraved in my chest that I need to let go - but I don't know what it is. I've been to my therapist yet I haven't had anything that snaps yet. Self love was a huge one, but I still think there's more - there's something MORE to this. I think I am going to just start writing down when this all started, think hard, and trace back in time.

Right now, I am experiencing a weird sensation in my chest - right in the middle. Like, something is needed or wanted. In the past I would have said food. I can say now it's not food. It's not a relationship. It's not my mother. It's not love. If I could put words with this feeling, it would help me.

I don't know what it could be that I want.

Things I know I do not want:

A girlfriend/relationship
Food
Parents/family (though I love them, I do not have the mentality that I need them right now)
Money
A job

I have a good job. I have money. I have a nice apartment. I have myself. I have a car. I have good friends. I have a great family. But there just seems like there's something wrong, or missing, or I need something..but I can't figure it out.

Last edited by buildx87; 06-28-2011 at 09:00 AM.
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