I am so glad I found you guys.....I really need you. No bingeing last night and today I got up early and went to yoga class. Had a resonable lunch and dinner. Hope I can make it through the rest of the night. Bet I can. I just hate my big stomach but, I am trying not to dwell on how I look. Thanks for being there guys.:^:

Good for you FT. You have to take everything really slow. Just like Chrissy said anything can send you into a tail spin. Last nigh I was actually good. I didn't stop thinking about eating but I didn't give in. I knew that the only reason I wanted to eat was because I was alone. I had just made a good dinner so I knew that I was full. I managed to stay away from the peanut brittle and all of the chocolate that we still have in the house. It is really hard for me but I have to reme,]mber how I feel after I eat all of that stuff. I hate myself after I do it. If I don't take the first bite I am closer to breaking the terrible cycle.

Good luck to all of you today and I'll be back later to check in with you guys.

I did well last night....I was a very good girl...I was a good girl at luch and dinner too....now, just to make it through another night. good luck everyone...night time is the hardest time for me.

I'm glad that all of you are doing so well. I on the other hand had a run in with some peanut butter sandwich cookies. I ate 9 of them. There is a bright side to the story...I wanted more but didn't do it. I even gave it thought before I went out to the pantry and dug into them. But, I guess I really wanted them. I think I'm secretly wired to the sofa and the TV in that when I sit down I want to eat. I know for a fact that if I would just have a nice lunch I would get rid of that munchy feeling that I have. Today I will have a decent lunch...that's my promise to myself.

Something else that I think sort of set me off yesterday was the fact that I was writting down everything that I ate. When I would look at the list I was thinking...wow, I wonder how many fat grams is in that and ooohh, how many calories. So for right now writting down anything is off limits. I'll have to keep a mental note of it and not dwell too much. Sounds off the wall doesn't it. I would have never in a million years thought that I would have worried like I did over that silly menu. It brought back days of checking off boxes and dealing myself food cards.......AAAAHHHH!! :dizzy:

Blessings to all, ChrissyB

Chrissy sorry your had a lapse. I have been really working to stop mine. I make sure that I log even when I cheat because then I can really see how bad I was. I never realized how bad I used to eat. I must have been consuming 3000 cals a day and goodness knows how many fat grams.

FT how did you do last night?

I am glad that you guys have come here so that we can all work through this together.

Chrissy, sorry you had a little slip....just pin your ears back honey and, go at it again...I have faith in you......I did pretty well yesterday. I do have some issues to deal with but, I will have to tell ya'll about those later.(pressed for time now) proud of you guys.

Hi everyone, I just wanted to thank you all for your support, it is so empowering to read all of these messages and know that i am not alone anymore. I have now started treatment for my binge eating disorder. Mostly we talked about the reasons I started binging in the first place and trying to find the main factor. Also, she has me working on a food journal, writing down everything that i eat and how i feel both before and after i eat and binge. It has really brought to light my TERRIBLE eating habits. I am hoping every day that i can beat this and once again look at food normally and not let it take over my life at my weakest moments...

So glad for you Mall girl.....I, on the other hand failed last night....doesn't matter..I can't seem to lose an ounce even when I am starving!!!:( Not having a good day at all today, but I know I have you guys to help me through it. Ever have days when you look like a blob in everything? When you are just damn tired of being the fattest girl on the block?:?: that me today!!!! PLEASE, don't let me get you down!!! Tomorrow I may be the one that lifts you up...Ya never know.:dizzy:

MG so gald to hear that you are starting treatment. I am sure that the journaling will help just like you said.

FT have you tried to journal? Are you married or do you live alone? I am just trying to see if I can make some suggestions to help you today. Don't give up. Remember that toay is another day. You can't do anything about yesterday but you can control today!

I am married....I have tried the journal thing but, I have no talent and, that just makes it so complicated for me.

Does your hubby know that you have an eating problem?

I know the other night DH and I were talking about a show that we had watched on TV and there was this man that weighed over 600 pounds. DH told me that he thought that there was more then just an eating problem with this man that he also thought that this poor guy had some emotional problems and was using food to sooth himself. This sort of opened up a door for me to talk about this with him. I didn't come right our and tell him about how I eat or how much I eat but I did tell him that I also think I have an eating disorder. No fooling I am worried that I will ge that big someday. That is why I know I have to do something now. And that's why I am really trying to get intune with myself.

It's hard...I know. Keeping a journal on food is good for some people and not a good idea for others. For someone like myself who will obsess over it it's not good. What I've been doing is just talking to myself and sort of reasoning things out. It helps.

I'm glad that you are here with us. Keep posting and we'll get this figured out.

Blessings to you, ChirssyB

FT you don't have to be talented to keep a journal. I get onto fitday.com and keep track of my food that way. It only takes a few seconds and I really think it has helped me.

I think Chrissy is right your hubby should know what is going on. I told mine and he is really helping me. I think now that he knows he is less likely to bring the junk food into the house that i will binge on.

I will do better not journaling, not food diarying, that is part of my obbsession....I need not to think about food so much. (this I have disscussed with a doctor before although, I am not currently under treatment for this) My husband is a good guy but darn it, he isn't much of a man of words...strong silent type.haha He thinks he has to fix everything and gets upset when he can't. I have tried to tell him that I just need him to listen but he still wants to fix it for me. Sweet guy...some times we have to think of others and just shut up about it. haha He know that it is a constant struggle for me though and he does what he can. I consider myself a lucky girl though. he is always there for me in other ways.

Help From Hubby
 

Telling my husband about my eating was sooo hard. It was admitting how weak I am, and I did not like that! Other than with food, I'm a very controlling and assertive person, so imagine what it was like to talk about my bingeing disorder! :headache:

It was hard for him to hear too because he knew that his work and traveling was part of my problem. (When I got lonely, I ate) He's made a real effort to stay close to home and encourage me every step of the way. And when he does have to travel, he calls me several times a day to make sure I'm feeling good and tell me how proud he is of me sticking to my plan.

Letting go of the food has been hard, but I am finding that, after only a week, it's getting eaiser. I still think about food all the time, but I can talk my self out of it easier. I actually sat in a donut shop this morning with some friends and stuck to my protein bar and bottled water! Normally I would have had atleast three donuts, and probably taken some home with me! I felt so good when I walked out empty handed! :cloud9:

I hope you are all getting the support you need- both here and at home!

JohnnieAnn :queen:

how proud you must have been of yourself not to eat those donuts!!!!!!! I have often said I would walk a mile for one donut!!!!!haha I have to really use my willpower when I play cards with my group on tuesdays.....and lately I have been doing real well. I am 'down' because I have not lost an ounce lately and I and I know that it is lack of excersize. I go to yoga classes twice a week but, it is mostly stretching at this point and, I need to sweat. I have to wait on that cause of back problems but that will be addressed on Feb 12. Till then, I have to be VERY carefull (even at yoga) (instructor is aware of this) and no...I am probably not getting the support I need at home but we all have our crosses to bare and, I just have to deal with it.