Day 1 made it all the way through without bingeing... stayed on plan and now I'm going to bed! I'm thrilled to have made it through today even with the stresses of my ex husband....

I'm so relieved to be able to say that yesterday, Day 8, went great. I had a great workout at the gym and ate really well as well as drinking loads.
The constipation has eased a little and I spent most of the day and night taking potty breaks, and the scale is finally moving back down again which is such a relief.
I don't know if it's stopping the vitamins and Kalms, a good workout, going back into loss mode eating wise, or just the stars aligning, but I'm so relieved.
Today, Day 9, I'm going to do exactly the same thing, going for a run with my friend in an hour or so, and all healthy meals planned. Please let the worst be over...

242

Lovingme, glad to here you're coming out the other side - what a relief!

Vixsin - I'm in awe of your 200+ days of success - so inspiring!

Day 10 for me. Second time in double digits in the last month so that is positive. Last time I cracked at 10 days, but it was TOM, so I'm hoping I'll catapult to 20 days and that will be the catalyst to launch me. I wish I could say that a month would be all it take to go binge free forever, but I had 5 weeks back in April when it all came crumbling down. I'm hoping I'm in a much different place this time, it feels a lot different - more relaxed, less obsessed, more focused, so I'm hopeful.

Today should be easy, good run this morning and Wednesday's are usually a higher cal day because of how much I run and I'm usually really focused and centered. So I'm feeling pretty good I'll make it to the weekend. I'm going out for dinner and drinks with a friend Friday and I'm trying to decide how I want to handle that...I just want to handle it like a "normal" eater without food issues. I need to come up with a plan that will leave me relaxed but able to enjoy everything and not spiral into binging and weight gain. For now though I'm just going to stay in the moment of today and enjoy how I'm feeling today.

Today is day 4. I'm down the 2 lbs I gained after my binge. I leave for vacation next Monday and I'll be around family for a week and in the Caribbean with my husband for a week. I'd love to lose but if that's not going to happen I'm fine with maintaining. No gain is the goal.

Day 1 today, so far I ate a breakfast sandwich which had 2 slices of ham half of a fried egg and a loaf of multi grain bread... Don't know if it's good/bad for you? I'm such a bad thinker when it comes to eating healthy I don't know what healthy is. Hopefully won't have any junk food for a week, I'll keep you updated throughout..

Day 2. I'm not only calorie-counting, but back on the Insulin Resistance diet as of two days ago, and I feel MUCH better. Good energy and mood, no cravings. It remains to be seen whether or not I can actually get out of this %*$#ing plateau, but I'm seeing a doctor next week and she says I can go on Metformin for my PCOS if I want to. Maybe that will help.

Day 10

I'm having the hardest time with food lately. Maybe because I've been too relaxed on my diet. Not really trying to count the calories, but eating enough healthy food. My friend has asked me to help her on her food truck. It's asian fusion (korean bbq) and i'm really losing it with the food. She gave me a tofu rice wrap and a tofu rice bowl yesterday, and I ate both as soon as I got home. I had skipped lunch so I was super hungry. Then for dinner had tuna fish sandwich. My trigger food in my house is this Ezekiel bread, that I have been making sandwiches today with PB and goat cheese. I've eaten 3 or 4 already spanning lunch and snack times. Breakfast was an egg and small bowl of steel cut oats with fruit.

Ughhhh...need some encouragement to stop eating until I'm full. I just want to eat until I'm "okay", like a 6-7 on the fullness scale, 10 being full up to my neck.

I've gained 2 lbs this week since Monday. :(

Maybe I can't have Ezekiel bread anymore? But I love bread and need to find some way to incorporate grains into my diet. It just seems like when bread is around, that is the only thing I will eat, and I'll try to make meals around it.

Suggestions?

Oh and I've bought some candy, two times this past week. I've recommitted myself to no more candies or food with food dyes. Yet, why is this all happening, the bread, the candies, the free food splurge? Either I'm losing control again, or justifying little things like this into my life to replace the food binges of my past. I made a note card last night reminding myself how awful I feel after eating my friend's food truck food, and how I don't need to eat any more of it since I've basically tried all that I could already, and also noted not to eat more candies b/c of the food dyes. I'm hoping the notecards work for me. I'll carry them around wherever I go.

Day 1 successfully completed...for the upteenth time, I guess. Beila-I just know that for me, I simply cannot have 'foods that I love" and that I 'cannot stop eating uptil it is all gone' in the house. Proof---my latest binge - was it only yesterday?...seems like a long time ago. WI tomorrow where I will pay the piper for that, I am sure!

Today is day 2... Feeling ok today and I just met with my counselor who gave me some good strategies (sp) that I have to share.

In order to change our natural tendency or paterned tendency toward a specific response to conflict/anger we need to look a the coflict and follow these steps and say them outloud to reenforce the outcome
1. What just happened?
2. How do I feel about it?
3. Is this true about me or about the situation?
4. What would I do next time in this same situation?

I tried this during a conflict with my ex today and so far I haven't felt like eating a bag of potato chips!

Its a process!
Shaunna

Beila, I don't have any great advice for you, I wish I did. All I can say is that for me I've had to eliminate the triggers from my house and anything that I am truly hungry for that is considered a splurge has to happen on a special occassion or in a single serving and I have to say ok, I want this, it's ok, don't feel bad, don't feel guilty, it's NORMAL to want things that are considered "unhealthy" sometimes. It is NORMAL. We just need to keep it in check though.

I really try my best to keep it all to special occassions and the weekends, but sometimes it just happens. Today for example there was left over birthday cake and I wanted it, I denied and denied, but it didn't work. In the end it didn't feel like a choice because I was denying myself and if I'd just said ok...if that's what you REALLY want go ahead I probably would have found the will power to say no. So instead I ate and felt like crap afterward from the extra sugar. But I'm not feeling guilty and I'm going to go home and try my damnest to keep it at that and nothing more, not an excuse to good buck wild the rest of the night. Turning my mistake into smaller mistake is progress, however, I'm having a lot more weekday mistakes lately and that is scaring the crap out of me. Trying to get a handle on just weekends was hard enough, weekdays I was always a rock star - hardly ever faltered...not sure what is happening here, but it needs to stop I just have to say NO sometimes. So I'm feeling a little defeated, but trying to push past it.

I know that contradictary, but it's such a delicate balance between telling yourself No and having what you're truly hungry for because if you don't it will end in a binge anyway.

Binged again last night. I'm having trouble caring about stopping it, though my weight has hit what I am designating as my "red line" (61 kg, 134.5 lbs). The pattern of the past two binges has been going out with friends, having dinner and dessert, and then buying a crapload of chocolate/whatever, eating it all, and finishing it off with an apple and peanut butter.

I like my friends, soon I won't see them again, but this is so destructive and terrible. It's 9:20 am and I am already antsy. I hate this feeling and I am so terrified of going back to America, where literally everything in the supermarket is a binge-sized trigger.

Day 8= Not a total disaster, but enough of one to make me start over! :cry:
I knew I couldn't be around all those cookies and not think of having some yummi dessert off my "Detoxing from Carbs" plan.

After VBS today, I had to grab :censored:
Then, I had Rice Krispies for dinner to push my carbs to over 200 for the day :(
I really can't throw a :tantrum: I chose to eat it, and I knew I would be writing about it tonight. I was at a new low for this time around for 2 days in a row as well. ((smh))
Will I ever learn??

Day 9- I think, kinda losing track cause I never go this long. I'm craving ice cream cause it's so hot here. 98 degrees & humid. I also want peanut butter to go with it. I didn't buy it, it's not here. I put a chocolate mousse yogurt in the freezer so if I want it tomorrow, I'll eat that. Tastes like ice cream when it's frozen, yum.