Day 3 coming to an end, and I feel gross. Family came by, and we grilled for the holiday, and I only had a small bit of each thing, but small bits of many foods adds up fast. I'm probably good on calories for the day, but it makes me frustrated when I feel like I "wasted" the day's calories on food I don't REALLY want but have to eat for social reasons, like bean salad or a burger. It's a ridiculous pattern of thinking, and I wish I could stop - it's not like I can't choose my foods tomorrow! I have this awful desire for every single meal to be absolutely sublime, and i have to learn that it's okay if they aren't.
Today is Day 2. Yesterday was a weird one as I went to bed at 5 pm and slept through til the morning. I don't feel very hungry and I have a lot to do. I hate thinking about how much I weigh right now, it's higher than it has been in a long time. Drinking lots of water to try and compensate for the dehydration from the weekend/binging on Sunday.
Ok, starting again at Day 1 today....
The last four days have been horrendous, I knew that the long weekend was going to be a challenge, but I just gave in and then everytime I felt bad about what I was doing I made excuses for myself. I kept thinking of you guys on here as well and couldn't face going back and starting at Day 1 again...
Last night however I actually felt sick and was looking forward to a fresh start today. Then I had a really weird but great dream, not exactly weight related, can't really explain it on here, but although the scale is up massively and my stomach is horrendously bloated, the dream has made me wake up this morning feeling positive about where I want to go from here and how I want to feel about myself.
So today is a new day, a fresh start, Day 1.
I'm new here&excited to have support for the first time, as this is new to me. I love what I read on here and how supportive people can be towards one another. I'm happy to have found somewhere I can go to, and that can motivate me at low points as well as the high. Good luck everyone!
I am now starting back at day 1 as well. The weekend was very challenging and I was doing good until last night and everything just caught up with me and I lost it. Today I feel disgusting and feel like I have gained back all that I had lost, but not going to give in, going to kick myself in the rear and just cut the crap and get back on it.
Congrats Vixsin you keep kicking butt and taking names
Day 3 - yesterday was perfectly OP, and I'm feeling good today. I'm not planning on stepping on the scale just yet, I don't need that disappointment right now, so I'm just sticking to the plan and moving forward.
I decided to be lazy yesterday and recover from that weird stomach bug. I skipped my run and going into the office on a holiday and was just lazy! Had some tough stuff with DS, probably his worst tantrum ever, but he's just being a normal toddler and testing the limits so I have to stay strong.
I tell ya, this parenting stuff is tough, I feel bad but I'm pretty certain some of the stress of it is contributing to some of my binge episodes and I don't really know how to handle that.
Ok, starting again at Day 1 today....
The last four days have been horrendous, I knew that the long weekend was going to be a challenge, but I just gave in and then everytime I felt bad about what I was doing I made excuses for myself. I kept thinking of you guys on here as well and couldn't face going back and starting at Day 1 again...
Last night however I actually felt sick and was looking forward to a fresh start today. Then I had a really weird but great dream, not exactly weight related, can't really explain it on here, but although the scale is up massively and my stomach is horrendously bloated, the dream has made me wake up this morning feeling positive about where I want to go from here and how I want to feel about myself.
So today is a new day, a fresh start, Day 1.
I second that! four day weekend for me and I have eaten like a monster!! Day 1 is today... I am going to do the brave thing and post my weight on here every day for accountability, never weighed myself daily, i think it will help!!
Bethenny says this rule works with knowing what you want first. Listen to your food voice. If you don't eat what you want, you may end up eating everything under the sun before you're too sick to get what it was you wanted. Like Scoot, your memorial day meal had you eating stuff you didn't want and you felt like you wasted the day's worth of calories. Bethenny also says: "You are the only one responsible for what you put into your mouth. Obvious? Sure. Revolutionary? Absolutely". Sometimes I forget this simple truth, and I could save myself from loads of guilt and stress if I keep this in mind every time I eat something.
For more of Rule 2, follow this link...not all the pages are there, but it was my best in searching for the text.
I'm pretty proud of myself, it's been 12 weeks since my last binge. This is the longest I've ever gone without binging (since I was 10) and it's incredible to me how I still struggle.
Yesterday, I really wanted to eat and eat and eat. So, I did what I've been doing for the past 12 weeks, which is to ask myself if I'm hungry and if the answer is no, I ask myself what I'm feeling. I'm pretty good at being able to identify the feeling and work through why I may be feeling it. Once I've figured out why, I'm able to move on and not eat. But for some reason, yesterday that wasn't enough. So I forced myself to feel the anxiety. To sit through it so that I'd realize that I can handle it. That it's temporary.
And it sucked, but I made it! It was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. But it was so freeing at the same time. I feel stronger.
I had 2 picnics this weekend. Sunday at a friends house did good eating all fruit & plain cooked shrimp. Had some of every dessert(3), I was in control. Monday i had my family picnic, again ate all fruit & veggies, but my sister in law brought 2 pans of brownies. That was my downfall, always when there are baked goods, I can't just have one. I ate a whole pan of brownies myself, sneaking them when know one was looking. I felt like I was addicted til I felt sick and had to stop.
Day 1 today- did good but still had the urge to eat crappy food. So I ate 4 marshmallows and threw the rest away before i ate the whole bag. I gained 4.3lbs just from the junk i ate the past two days, I know I need to get back to eating clean so i can lose this weight, why does it have to be so hard?
