Are you ever done?
 

I have not posted anything in a very long time, though I continue to visit for support and guidance. I have been really thinking a lot lately about the long life of compulsive overeating, and getting sad/mad at the concept that I will never look at food " normally". Is is possible to walk away, to heal, to take the power away from food? Or is this my life, having this little voice that is always plotting, thinking, counting, waiting.
Externally I appear to have reached health, I used to gain and lose the same 20 pounds every year, but 3 years ago I went from 168 down to 130, and I now stay between 135-138. I trail run like a crazy woman, I lift, I play with my kid, and it has seemed to work, but that overeater, that binger, that voice haunts me. I watch what others eat, who seem to just enjoy food for what it is and I am so curious and jealous. Where do we go from here? Is it about accepting yourself faults and all? living in the moment? I always think I am one too many cookies away from falling of the cliff. Wisdom and insight greatly appreciated.

Though I did have my greatest compliment ever today, my 8 year old son was playing a game with his friends, and one kid did not want want to be the girl in the game b/c girls are "wimps". My son quickly said " not all girls are wimps, have you seen my mom!" I was in the other room, so it was all him! Success in parenting!

Great post! I can totally relate, and it does make me kind of sad/mad/frustrated. I'm doing pretty good with losing this time around...things seem to have clicked, but sadly, and embarrassed to say, I still long for mac & cheese, pizza, nachos, etc. If I eat those things I know I will gain, quickly, yet I see other people eating those same things and they are slim and don't appear to be worrying about what they are putting in their mouth. *sigh* Good luck to all of us.

I worry about the same thing. In fact, I'm frustrated that I just binged and yet again, can't seem to get a hold on it. I wish I was like other people that ate until they were full.

I join the line up. I walk 2 hours every morning and all the way I'm fighting with my impulse to stop for an ice cream or a chocolate bar......sugar is my demon! I
have lost almost 50 lbs in the last 2 or 3 years and yet always there is that battle to stop me from buying something sweet and pigging out.

I also wish it would stop and I'd think about something else besides food. It seems this is my destiny. My Mother suffered the same issues.......gah!

Same boat. My roommates can keep ice cream, chips, candy etc around the house for weeks and I just can't do it. If I don't eat that pint of ice cream the night I buy it, then I'll eat it for breakfast. I just don't have that "stop" button in my brain. I do get jealous of my friends who can eat junk food now and then, stop when they're full, and not eat junk food until the next time they really feel like a "treat".

I don't know if I'll ever have a "normal" relationship with food. I hope so, but definitely a long way to go.