Anyone see a therapist for binge / emotional eating?
Is anyone seeing or has seen a therapist for binge eating or emotional eating? Did it help?
I'm at the end of my rope with eating for emotional reasons. I feel out of control and its ruining my weightloss efforts. I just feel like my issues run so deep and are so set in stone that I could never be helped. Pretty sad huh.
Not sad at all - So true for most of us on here - those that keep slipping back into binge eating - I was telling my fiancee today that I remember being 9 and stealing the girl scout cookies my sister was selling.
But I too am tired of feeling this way and called my therapist today to schedule an appointment - I'm irregular in seeing her because it costs a lot and I think part of me is ashamed. Just know you are not crazy, you are not alone. <hugs>
Nah, it's not sad. And I've often thought about going back to therapy myself for this reason (and a few others). There is something in there that I am not letting go of. I have an inkling as to what it is. I really believe I started gaining weight in order to disappear from the world. Which completely back fired on me!
But how do you stop? That's the answer I've been looking for. I do know though, that when we are feeling low, or sad or have had a bad day, we use food as a pick me up because they actually biologically do. I can't get into specifics because I can't remember where I've read it, but eating food food releases chemicals that really do make us feel better.
And that's how we start emotionally eating. Our bodies KNOW it will work, and we crave and crave and binge trying to relieve the pain or sadness.
For the past week though, I have really been stopping myself and making sure that I am absolutely, positively, without a doubt hungry before I though something in my mouth. Because there are plenty of times, especially at work, where I will eat to break up the monotony of the day or to relieve stress. Maybe you could try it? I just started it on a whim.. just to do it for one day... and I just kept going. It's been quite refreshing and the nagging "eat eat eat!" in my head is fading quickly
I do still want to go back to therapy.. but I need to get some other health concerns sorted out first.
First, there was immediate relief in early visits, because I wasn't trying to hold the whole mess inside myself anymore. And I finally got outside confirmation from a professional, that yes, it was a mess, it wasn't just me creating drama or being sensitive. (Accusations that followed me when family got uncomfortable.) I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to feel that kind of relief again, as there was no Internet then, no forums for anonymously sharing, so I really was all bottled up & feeling very alone & singularly weird.
Then, I realized quickly that the warm feeling from therapy wore off, and I was capable of bingeing afterward anyway. So, the disappointment, and then a ramp-up period during which I had to learn how to really work the therapy, which meant talking about what I didn't want to, and keeping myself talking when I was squirming & even I could see how unflattering or irrational what I was saying was. In particular, to keep talking when I wanted to go silent. I had to offer it all up & had to continually remind myself it wasn't worth my money or time unless we really "went there." Some sessions were brilliant, but sometimes they disappointed me.
Also, there was the homework part, about applying what I'd learned in my everyday life, since much of it was behavioral therapy.
What didn't help me is that for a long time I resisted a lot of the therapist's suggestions, in the beginning because, in my particular disorder, I punished myself & tried to exercise off the binges by overexercising & restricting. I stopped overexercising & restricting before I stopped bingeing. That meant I gained weight for a while there, which was horrifying to me. But it was part of the process.
Also I am at peace with two things:
- I cannot lose another 20 vanity pounds. Well, I could, but I won't. The cost of that is such a restricted, closely monitored life that it makes me deeply unhappy, and I will not risk my psychological health just to achieve a "dream" weight.
- The human body -- my human body -- is not perfectible. Mine will never be all I want it to be. I can modify it, to some extent; I can make it healthier, more muscular. But it is not completely malleable like clay & cannot be, by my poor puny will, made into what it has no genetic potential to be. Holding myself to certain standards is completely unrealistic & a sure road to insanity.
I am a work in progress, always trying to attain greater self-acceptance & peace of mind, but those two things, I know in my heart & soul. And it helps me to remember them.
I talk to my therapist a lot about my eating issues, but not exclusively. It has helped. It will help more when I make another appointment... (have to re-register every semester). I haven't been seeing her long and it's really, really hard for me to be completely honest with someone. I still feel the need to impress her or whatever, which is ridiculous. But right now, just having that other perspective--that person to bounce ideas off of, who can give me some grounding in reality--is so, soooo helpful. It's made it easier.
I definitely recommend seeing someone if you think it could help. There's nothing to be ashamed of, not one bit. Just keep in mind that finding the right one can be hard, so if you feel like it's not going well after a few sessions, no reason to give up entirely.
Thank you everyone. I made an appointment with my therapist at 1pm today. I see her for other issues, and have never brought this up because for some reason I find it really embarrassing and I just figure it is something that no one can help me with. But I'm going to bring it up today.
I've done a lot of thinking about it and it really boils down to food has become a pick me up. Its something I look forward to. When the day is going by and its like 4om and I know that the rest of the day there is nothing to look forward to, its like a quickly acting spiral of depression. And food become the thing to look forward to. That probably sounds weird. Its hard to explain., but I need to address this with someone.
Hi---I've tried to see a different therapist two times, and neither attempt was successful, but that is not because there is no value in therapy, it didn't work, because the people did not truly understand eating disorders. The first therapist made me feel guilty for my behavior, and the second simply didn't understand the power that food can have on me.
Therapists are like boyfriends, you have to keep searching until you find the right fit
There IS value in it, especially if you can determine the WHY to your binging. If you know the why, you can often become more in-tuned to the cues BEFORE you binge!
I've been binging on and off since I was 12. It is a really hard habit to break, and when my life is crazy, I binge more, but I've also learned to control it a lot more. The minute I think about a binge, I then think carefully about what just happened in my life or what I was thinking about right before the binge. Being MINDFUL is really helpful. Even if you end up binging, the great part is knowing what lead to the binge! You might still feel bad about it, but at least you are aware of the underlying issues.
Food and weight are often linked to other disorders too (for me, anxiety and slight OCD), also, I was physically abused, so I use my 'fat' as protection. Being aware of all of this helps me cope when it comes to a binge. There are many times when I can tell myself, 'no, you don't need the food, you just want it for comfort'. There are plenty of times when I still binge though.
Sorry for the dissertation!
There is no shame in therapy---just find the person that is right for you
I've been thinking about going to a specialist about binge eating as well. I went to my university counselor and actually TOLD her about my problem which was extremely emotional because I have never actually said and explained the problem in words out loud to anyone before. To my disappointment, she does not specialize in such problems and just gave me references for places to visit in the area, which I would have to pay for. Unfortunate, because I am a student and all my money is going to tuition and living expenses feedhungrysoul.blogspot.com
I'm working towards just plain acceptance. This who I am, binging is going to happen from time to time. Granted the last few weeks I've felt completely out of control. But this new acceptance, that pretty much started today, has given me this sort of calming sensation. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping that it just kind of makes the binges a little smaller. I'm at a point where I don't care if they happen anymore, I don't feel guilt or regret (unless of course they're so sugar ladden that they ruin my run the next day), I just don't want that feeling having no control, not knowing why I'm overeating. At least if I'm overeating because it tastes good or is calming or because I let myself get over hungry, I then at least feel like it's my decision. I've felt like my last few binges where out of panic, I can't really even describe it.
But long story longer, I'm trying to just accept it. I just don't feel like a therapist is going to make me have some big revelation that is ever going to make it stop. I know why I binge and it's complicated and layered and I just am not interested in drugs or doing a whole bunch of self discovery for maybe some temporary relief.
I've binged as far back as I can remember, and there are bad times where I binge all the time and there are periods when not so much, and I literally can't tell you what the difference is between the two. What I can say is that sometimes binging can be therapy for me, and while that isn't a good thing, I refuse to label it as "wrong" instead, I'm taking the power away by accepting it so that it doesn't have the same power anymore. I'm not punishing myself when I binge, I'm just dulling the bordem, or the deprivation, or the pain, whatever.
I'm really starting to babble and turning this into a diary entry, but I've been going through a lot lately and I feel like maybe I'm coming out the other side finally and maybe regaining some control. Last Friday was the first Friday in a long time that I haven't binged, Sat. and Sun., I can't say the same, but it's a start for me.
ncuneo I really enjoyed reading your "entry".
I also feel like binging is part of who I am. I definately know why I binge. I did talk about it with my therapist, and she said that I obviously know the under lying reasons (and I do, as I've had my who life to figure it out) it didnt seem there was much to be done. Other than fixing the concrete issues that cause the negative emotions that lead to binging. And frankly there's no doing that right now.
I woud be willing to try anything to stop binging, because I fee like it controls me and I hate that, but it really just seems like its not going anywhere sometimes soon.
OP, it seems like you might not be ready to give up binging though---you said 'it seems like its not going anywhere soon'----don't get me wrong, I know how hard it is to give up binging, I still fall into it every now and then, at least once a month (used to binge daily). But you do have the power to choose your fate. We let food control us, food doesn't have that power---we give food that power. You have to be really ready to give up the behavior, or you won't change. Your post makes me think you aren't ready to give it up, and that is OK, but then you have to realize you are the one making that choice.
I tried OA, but it wasn't for me, because I can't get behind the idea that we are powerless over food---food is a thing, and does not have innate power, only the power we give it.
i've been seeing my therapist for almost 4 years now. i don't see him exclusively for my food issues. actually, it took me over a year to talk to him about my bingeing and weight issues. he was wondering why we had only "danced" around the issue before. i had always been so ashamed of my behavior. also, it was so embarassing because i was studying to become/i am now a mental health professional myself. i felt like i wasn't "allowed" to be so out of control. i'm over that. i'm not perfect, nor will i ever be. therapy has helped tremendously. now that i've moved away from home, we do sessions over the phone and less often, but it's something we focus on quite a bit.
i think just being more self aware and having that space to really go through the thought process and motions of a binge with someone has helped me gain control. it was incredibly hard, and it's a process. but you can overcome it.
i still struggle with the occasional binge, but i can say that it does't control me the way it used to.
Last edited by fillupthesky; 02-10-2011 at 07:56 PM.
I went for a few sessions with a private therapist whose method was to not talk so much about food. She asked me to spend the week until our next appointment thinking about an activity or hobby that I could reasonably do. At the next session,she asked me if I had spent a lot of time thinking/planning/obsessing about food/bingeing. I realized that i spent most all of my drive time and my before sleep time thinking about what hobby I would enjoy -and didn't binge or obsess about food at all.
The down side to this exercise is that this method didn't last.
I also went to a group session several times with people who had similar issues with food.
Although the process of sharing and commiserating and discovering that I wasn't alone with food obsession was interesting and informative -it did little to help with my binge eating.
Then I went to a seminar where I learned that binge eating for most people (no matter how or why you started it) is a habit and like most habits, it's not impossible to stop - BUT it takes app. 3 weeks to break a habit -so his suggestion was to make a commitment for 3 weeks and see where that takes you.
Of course there were other suggestions - the most important one for me was to choose an eating plan that wasn't going to be so restrictive that you set yourself up to fail -remembering that the PRIMARY goal was not to lose weight - but to stop bingeing -so eat enough healthy and PLANNED MEALS and PLANNED SNACKS to be satisfying.
This helped and worked for me until an unexpected responsibility commanded all my time,energy and attention and all my resolve withered away (years ago).
This time,(late October) I got all my ducks in a row and planned my "course of action" again and am following the same premise and have not binged even once all this time. My weight loss is slow but steady -down 15 Lbs. now and remind myself whenever my thoughts stray toward a" bingefest "that i don't want to start over and I committed to not quitting and I come here almost everyday for support and guidance .
So, all in all -do whatever it takes to find the right path. I spent a fortune in time,effort and $$ trying to find answers,suggestions-always hoping for the "magic pill" until I admitted that I now have all the tools I need - but they can't do the job if I don't use them. I and only I can make them work.
Sorry if I got off track -that's one of the things I love about this site -it's therapy for free!!! Good Luck -L.
Wow newbieblogger: your post is so helpful. THANK YOU! I think that I need to a adopt a similar "course of action:"
- Make myself stop obsessing about food: I especially need to limit the amount of time that I spend on food and weight loss-related website (including this one ... as much as it helps me, I am need to limit myself to only checking in once or two a day)
- Set up an eating plan full of satisfying foods -- I do this already, but I just have to stick to it.
Congrats on your success so far! You mentioned that there would other tips that you picked up. Would you be able to share any others that you've found helpful?
I did see a therapist about my eating disordered behaviors, and continue to see her. I've been seeing her for about 6 months now. For the first 5 months, all we talked about were food and weight-related issues. Now I've managed that a little better, and we are talking about the root of my problems (family, low self esteem) ... I'd recommend it. No need to be ashamed. We are all human.
Anyone see a therapist for binge / emotional eating?
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