I feel so sick, my stomach is so full. I have eaten so much food today, so out of control. No food was off limits. Now I feel sick! Mentally I feel so low, so much shame and disgust! Why? At the time I felt a moment of relief/bliss/happiness. Practically a whole day binge. What a joke. What a loser. So now I have to pick myself up - again! This year I wanted it to be different but until I address the under lying issues. Whatever they are!?
Sorry, this is a pity post, no answers only a moan. Tomorrow I will start to move forward, I hate myself right now. When will I ever learn?
I could have written your post many times. I've definitely struggled with binge eating on many occasions. It's a horrible feeling, but it's also very exciting right? I know that when I am ready to binge, it's a bit of an exciting thing....I get to eat and eat and eat until I'm overfilled. I usually don't remember at least half of what I eat because it's such a frenzied event.
Everyone is so different that it's hard to give someone advice based on what you just said. I can only say what has been working for me recently. First, you gotta love yourself. I heard so much negative talk from your short post. I know how it is, but you gotta love yourself and be more understanding of yourself. If a good friend was addicted to pain killers and gave in and had some, you wouldn't talk to her like that...you'd hug her and tell her you know how hard it is and then you'd try to figure out what she could do better next time. I'm not sure if that was the best analogy, but you know what I mean. You gotta treat yourself with kindness because being negative hasn't worked so far, right?
For me, I went low carb. I really think it helps. It's not completely craving free but it does help a lot. I cut out all sugar. I cut out all flour too. You could cut out just sugar or figure out what your triggers are and cut those out. Completely. I know some people do great with having occasional treats and planning for treats and such, but over the years, that has not worked for me. Maybe I'll be in a place where I can do that some day, but honestly, I feel a lot better this way and I'd rather not go through all the internal debates of whether I should have something or not. I'm sure there will be occasions where I'm at a wedding or a birthday and I'll just have something, but right now, at this stage, I can't do it.
Exercise helps. Not necessarily for weight loss, since it's only about 20% of the journey....but it really helps the mindset. It helps me feel in control and on track. Also, sweat is great for detox.
I suggest you start drinking lots of water and you really truly forgive yourself. Make a plan of what you will do next time the urge hits. Put that plan in a place that is easy to find so you can read it. I find that when I'm feeling out of control, all logic goes out the window.
I attended a food addiction class a couple of nights ago and heard something that really helped me. Our teacher told us not to say that we've "cheated" on our diet or attempts at losing weight. "Cheating" implies something immoral or illegal. A chocolate chip cookie, for instance, is neither of those things. Just remind yourself that you're NOT a failure but that you made a CHOICE to eat off-plan. Then, tell yourself that you will make better choices starting right now.
Hope this helps you as much as it did me. *Hugs*
I'm really sorry you are going through this right now. I have been there/done that more times than I can count in the past. For me, the only way to stop feeling the shame...(and for me it is shameful because in my religious beliefs) was to fight like **** to stop doing it. I mean FIGHT it, with every ounce of my being.
Actually I heard it here at 3FC many times when I first started, and it really helped me personally. Before you take that first bite, when you know it's going to happen, and you really don't want it to happen is stop and think about how you will feel in an hour...the next day. How crappy you will feel, how low and disgusted you will feel. (How you feel right now). Matter of fact, if you can video tape yourself right now, or write yourself a letter now, do it. Then the next time the urge comes either watch the video or read the letter of how you are feeling right now, post binge, and MAYBE you'll change your mind. I know it really helped me to write it all out, and review it often. It helps to keep that horrible feeling fresh in your mind. Some people think it's best to move on and forget, I say move on and remember.
i also could have written this post a million times. try not to beat yourself up too much. its so important to pick yourself up and leave it in the past- just try to learn from it. i journal after i binge, try to remember what triggered me in the first place, and see if i can piece together patterns.
its hard not to feel guilty and shameful, but i find that it would just fuel another binge for me.
you'll be ok- you can do it. being on 3FC has been so helpful in helping me cope and finding support.
I may be wrong, but I think sometimes for me, there isn't an underlying reason. Other than the fact, I'm an impulsive eater. The thought hits me, I eat what ever it is, sure to be loaded with sugar and flour, then I'm off and running on a binge. The thing is, you can stop right now and not continue through the rest of the day. Stopping now, will make tomorrow a lot easier.
I had this experience the other day with a big bag of chocolate, caramel, & popcorn snack mix. I consumed a day's worth of calories in 15 minutes. It felt REALLY good while I was eating it, and then when it was over I felt a little bit sick and very, very guilty.
It's not the first time I've done this, either.
For me, the solution is never having these trigger foods in my house. I don't buy them, and have asked family not to send them to me.
I only indulge and have "off plan", trigger-food sweets when I'm out at a function or restaurant where I know that I've planned for the high calories, and that other people are around to share with me and keep me in check.
I also make a point to dance like crazy at weddings (it's cardio, and dancing's good for your soul!) and I am always up for a walk around the neighborhood after a big dinner.
I'm learning new ways to balance it all out... it's all you can do. Keep learning, and figure out what works for you. Hugs!
First of all . I was in your shoes just last night, and as so many posters have said, we have been there many times. As Luckymommy said, its kind of exciting, especially when its not just one meal, but a day pass to binge!
The hardest thing to do right after a binge, is resolve to keep plugging along. That this blip in the road is just that, a blip and not the end of the road, as it might feel.
Believe it or not, for me it seems harder to learn to recover from a binge, than to not binge at all. Consider this a chance to start learning how to recover mentally from a binge. For me, I know I will not go the rest of my journey without another binge. I'm just not there yet, so I must learn how to put the brakes on a binge (not to let it turn into a week of poor choices) pick myself up, FORGIVE myself rather than beat myself up for it, and start over.
So, practice forgiving yourself. Don't let the guilt and shame become fuel for another binge.
And I've found posting here, really really helps you get out all those negative fellings, so they arent bottled up inside you, which really helps.
I felt like you do right now so many times. Binging made me very sick, depressed, guilty, & there were mornings I couldn't even get up to take my daughter to school cause I was sick all night or the time I passed out on the bathroom floor on my way to get medicine for my stomach, my husband finding me laying there on the floor made me feel so helpless. I suffered so much in the 15mo. I was binging, that I don't want to go through it anymore. To me, food is not worth it. I would much rather feel good, not sick, that's what is important. So if I choose to over eat one day, I stop as soon as I'm full & then that's it for me. I'm not making myself sick all day & night because of food. So not worth it, I'm so glad I realized this, it took way too long!
Thank you all! I am done with junk, so done. These foods have no nutritional value, they are not treats. I now need put in place a strategy to stop being triggered this is the critical time. I will fight this and I will win. Thanks again.
Right there with you sister!! I started binging saturday night and been ongoing all day. The lowest point was walking through the supermarket that had a 10dollar minimum eftpos purchase, trying to decide waht to buy so I could buy my block of chocolate and then ate the whole thing in the car before I had even left the carpark. At least you enjoyed it. the whole time voices in my head were telling me to just walk away and stop and I couldnt. anyway whats eaten is eaten so I have planned my calories for tomorrow and I plan to get past this. if only I could ignore the shame but so hard!! anyway hugs to us! At least its nice to know I am not a freak and I am not alone struggling with this and there are others out there. xx
I hate myself, post binge regret shame guilt
I could have written your post many times. I've definitely struggled with binge eating on many occasions. 
