Confession...
 

I see I am not the only one who has been struggling. It seems for the last couple of weeks that I can't resist my binges :( I have felt out of control. I hate that feeling. I need to snap out of this frame and get back on track. I spent a lot of time today reflecting while putting away the holiday decor. I have the normal feelings of guilt and shame that come along with BED. I'm ready to be done with it. It's been awhile since I have binged like this, almost every day. I know I can't just blame it on the holidays and all the candy and goodies that come along with this season. I did great during Thanksgiving...I don't know why I lost my strength now??? Also in to play comes the stress and depression of the Holidays, sick kids, a teething baby, and stress in the office. I think some quiet meditation is in store for me so I can find some inner peace.

Thanks for reading my vent. Just by admitting my fall is a relief. I am ready to get back on track now and stay focused. I have a goal and I am far from it still. Here's to picking myself up and moving forward.

Dear ToriJ,
I understand how you feel because it's how I feel too.

Have you ever tried with meditation? I started meditating every morning some months ago and it helped a lot...

Hi Tori,

Well done for having the courage to come out and share what you are going through. It is ok and it happens sometimes that things don't go to plan. Don't beat yourself over it, the pain that you have experienced in the food unmanageably in enough. What works for me is learning to love myself and to care for myself. To just be nice loving and caring because then i don't want to harm myself with food, it does work. Do try some meditation, that helps me as well because when i am in a good space i just don't want to eat junk food.

Best of luck! You are not alone! My food has been really bad but picking myself up with love!

I am starting to take some "quiet breaks" where I just sit quietly and reflect/pray/be. I really hate being out of control and the power struggle is rediculous. I have to remind myself that I am in control not the food. After all of these years it hurts that I still struggle with my BED. You would think that things would be under control, but I have to work at it every day.

Thanks for the positive comments and suggestions. I love knowing I am not alone! I spent too many years thinking I was.

I can totally relate, ToriJ.

I am slowly getting back on track now but I have had more slip ups than I would have liked lately. I feel like I have been really hungry at night and not much during the day. So I have fallen into a pattern of eating very little during the day and using most of my points at night. Not a good habit to form. I am slowly getting myself out of this rut but it's very hard.