Day 4. Made it out of the grocery store alive, aka without a cheese log in hand "because it's the holidays." Instead I'm trying to invent a baked potato recipe.
I don't consider it a binge if I just overeat. At least as long as the overeating is only in the 400-600 calorie range. When I binge, there is a complete out-of-control feeling to it - it's pure emotional eating. Generally there's a feeling of euphoria in the first stages. Just pure pleasure in eating. And then the pleasure is gone but I keep on eating until the food is gone. Usually I'm no longer enjoying the taste but I keep eating anyway. When all the food is gone, the guilt starts.
Day 3. Things are going more than smoothly. Still not interested in food. I have a date later, actually, which always makes me sickeningly nervous, so that's probably why binging is the last thing on my mind.
222! I realized that I totally missed all of last week's challenge! I was crazy sick, I think I had the flu, plus I've been crazy busy and stressed with finals. No binging though, and the stress will be over in week! Looking forward to the new year!
So far so good....have been baking and stuff for the holidays but I made some sweet treats which are lower in cal and healthier plus got in a good workout today...
Day 13 (I decided that for me, a "binge" is defined as "manic solo eating followed by guilt - I do not particularly regret the overeating I do on weekends). Finally back to my lowest weight. Went clothes shopping last night and it was a real shocker to see the small sizes I fit into these days. I'm most pleased that I now have some upper body strength and less flopping around in my arms.
Day 19 today, and feeling fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine...
and so set on starting the year in onerland... (weighed 202 today, so i have one and a half weeks to lose 2 pounds.. )
What a great motivator to eat well on Christmas day! i so want to be under 200 pounds more than any lollies , chocolates or any damn turkey.. lol
Day 10- hubby brought home a gift last night from his work, it was huge box of popcorn, pretzels & candy. The only thing I have been wanting is the candy, I'm not a pretzel or popcorn person, but the candy has been calling my name all morning. I have not touched it and so far the craving went away. Yay!
Day 4, no binging. I was tempted after breakfast because I ate a trigger food, but I held it together and distracted myself, so the urge went away pretty quickly. I've been eating a lot of candies and cookies today, but I haven't overeaten at all, so I'm trying to forgive myself for the unhealthy food choices.
I'm starting to realize how much tracking my eating and my moods on a daily basis is proving valuable to me. I'm noticing that the two don't tend to match. Today, for example, I have felt really guilty all day (hi, depression), as if I'd been binging, when in fact I haven't. Acknowledging that I ignored an urge earlier today is forcing me to congratulate myself on a small step and realize that I did make progress today. Suck on that, depression.
found a trigger food today, My whole being just wanted food, sugar, fat...
it was sugar free lollies, they tasted foul, left a foul taste in my mouth and gave me bad wind, and in the end i was just wanting to shovel food...
but I didn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woo hoo i rode it out and now i feel fine and can say i am binge free 20 days!!
a binge for me is that feeling that i am no longer in the drivers seat and find i need to shovel food in without emotion. It is a definite thing when i binge, and i don't see having one extra piece of cake as a binge, its when i have a piece of cake then continue... and when the cakes gone its searching the cupboards and its literally shovelling food in, even food i don't like. There is no emotion only me and food it is all consuming, i will eat until i am physically ill, yet still feel like i need to put more food in.
I would do anything to no longer get those binge urges.. they destroy me
I sit and watch friends and family, who have no food issues, they eat anything they want, they feel full, they feel satisfied and inside i cry... the void within me never gets filled even when i binge there is emptiness.
sorry thats a little deep.. but after a very near binge today... it really scares me, that even when i get to goal weight (been there before), even when i feel i have worked through all my emotional issues, when alls said and done, that binge monster will always be looking over my shoulder
Last edited by icedragon6669; 12-23-2010 at 02:46 AM.
