[ChickyMonkey]

Wow--I can definitely relate to you all. Unfortunately, I think I've become a "super-size" version of you, because my binge hasn't lasted a week or so, it has lasted for months.

Two years ago I embarked on a weight loss journey and wound up losing about 80 lbs--yay me! I slowly gained back about 15 of those pounds over the next year, and have gained about 50 in the past 6 months! Binging, antidepressants, weaning off antidepressants and the resulting awfulness that came with that, watching the scale go up up up and binging from the stress of it, to make it go up up up some more! Ugh! I'm so disgusted with myself!

So, I recently got committed to putting the brakes on, and haven't gained anything in about 2 weeks. Joined this forum, bought a book, learning how to first make peace between my Fat Self and my Not Fat Self. Maybe when I can get those chicks to stop fighting over whose fault it is, I'll be able to get something done!

So, here I go again--off to try to lose. First baby step will be to not binge today--didn't yesterday or the day before. Gonna hop on your train and make it till the end of the year!

Thanks fro everything you all write--helps me to definitely not feel so alone!

[LastTrain2Para]

IDK if anyone has says this already but you said something that's a major red flag for me personally; I used to plan my day around meals and it can be mentally unhealthy for me and often lead to feelings of deprivation and saying "oh i been working hard I can have a little of this" then a little of this turns into the whole thing... sigh.

I started to work on planning my day around events and things that I ve been dying to do and to sorta combat those "next meal i have.." brain-convo I eat on a schedule so I don't get obsessed with it again. Maybe you can try doing that to combat the BINGE MONSTA... ~~RAWR~~

[peccavi]

I think planning your day around events is helpful, but I guess when it's around the holidays like this, it becomes even harder because for many of us and our families, ALL THE EVENTS are all centered around food.

I thought that things would be easier once my sister got here to visit me. More accountability, more stuff to do, etc... but it has just gotten worse and worse and last night I had the worst binge yet. I'd been letting myself go overboard every night hoping that it was a first step, as long as I didn't all out binge, because if I went cold turkey I'd feel too deprived and the cycle would just continue.

Well, not having a clear line drawn isn't helping. It appears to be all or nothing, and I'm getting sick of the "all" part. It's just so discouraging when you've had 4 or 5 "final" binges in the past couple of weeks. It's like quitting smoking over and over and over... It starts to feel like a joke.

I pray for all of us that this will get easier when our routines get back to normal, family goes back home, holidays are over.. We just have to hang on and not get too discouraged even if we are constantly falling down. Hang in there guys, as I'm trying to...