Three days of crazy bingeing...must stop
 

Oh man,

I haven't posted for a while about my binge eating. I almost felt like if I didn't think about it, it would go away, but who was I kidding? Well, for the last 3 days, I've been eating as if I was going into hibernation for the winter.

The trigger?

A combo of sleep deprivation and feeling sorry for myself. You see, I have chronic daily migraines. I also have a child with special needs and the stress of that has probably given me my migraine problem. Now, to make matters worse (I didn't think that was possible), I have now discovered that I have Vertigo. Yep. I had a major episode where I completely lost balance and was very sick and that happened about a week before Thanksgiving and I have never fully recovered. I feel like I'm almost always on a boat in rough waters. It really is terrible. I try to workout but it's no fun, as you can imagine (as if it's fun anyways ;)).

I have this weird psychological problem where when I feel sick, I feel that eating will make me better. This isn't true, of course, but I can't stop feeling this way. So, when I'm sick and when I'm stressed I want to eat. Usually it's from low grade stress/anxiety where I feel like the problem might never go away.

Fellow listmates, I would really appreciate any words of wisdom. I'm going to try SO hard to stay on track tomorrow. I feel like if I can have one good day, I can have another and another. I"m going to try not to hate myself. The problem is that since I hate SO MUCH, I will wake up with a food hangover and feel very sick. It's really horrible.

Thanks so much for reading this and for your support. :hug:

Two books that have helped me deal with issues are these workbooks on Mindfulness and Depression & Mindfulness and Anxiety. Before you think - well, I'm not depressed or anxious, give them a chance. They are all about feeling the things you feel (stressed, migrainey, dizzy, etc), acknowledging those feelings, and then moving your hands and feet towards the things that you value in life (away from the food and towards something else.)

I really cannot recommend them enough. I continually return to them when I feel myself (and my behaviors) slipping back to where I don't want them.

Seagirl, thank you SO MUCH for those recommendations. I'm going to go order those books on Amazon right now!!! :)