Had my first binge
 

I feel really down today because I had my first binge in a week last night. I have only been on my weight loss journey for 10 days. I was on plan for 6 days straight until yesterday. In the past I have always failed at losing weight because about a week into my progress I binge and don't stop.

I am back on my feet and back on plan this morning, but I just feel so let down by what I did yesterday. I feel like I failed myself. I have come to terms that I really am addicted to junk food. It feels like nothing can get in the way of me and my junk food when I am on a binge. Once I decide I'm going to eat it, I do. I really don't know how to stop those overwhelming feelings. I need help. :(

Hugs to you.
I have been in the same position countless times. Especially in college and graduate school, numerous times eating more than I can admit without both anger and embarrassment-- always alone in my dorm room or apartment. I know the feeling of failure and the euphoric feeling of control that is lost after ending a 6 or more day "binge free streak". Such a roller coaster to feel in control and making progress, only to be triggered into a downward spiral of bad habits and poor decisions.

I know today is the hardest day, because it is the "day after". I would often be unable to sleep the night after the first day of "recovery" after a binge because I would stare at the ceiling devising ways to regain control. I would make lists, goals, ultimatums. I would begin to feel inspired by what I hoped I could accomplish, only to give into self-doubt a few days or weeks later. What I was NOT was kind to myself and confident in what I had to offer those around me.

I am far from recovered and may be back in your position in days or months. I hope that we can use the resources and fellowship of this site to provide guidance and support. Right now, know I am wishing you all the positive energy I know you can harness to move in the right direction. Be kind to yourself and think towards the future!

What you did yesterday is done. Your weight loss journey is not about slip-ups but about commitment. You're on this route until you reach your goal, sure there'll be speed bumps along the way, acknowledge that but never, ever give up.

I've often been in a similar situation, and often still am. It's almost as though you leave the junk food take control over you, but don't let it.

Your binge is over, finished, but you and your goal aren't.

Best of luck, of course you can do it.

This journey is not about falling...it's about getting back up and finishing the race!:)

Also, maybe trying allowing yourself one "cheat meal" per week (not cheat DAY). That is what I do and it helps me psychologically. Sometimes I don't need the cheat meal and other times I do. It helps me to know that I have it, in case I need it.

Last night I needed it because I had some friends over for dinner and I made jamaican food and sweet potato pie. I ate the jamaican food, but I watched my portions and had two slices of sweet potato pie..YUM! I could have easily ate the entire pie (sweet freak here too!;)), but since I knew I could have another slice in 7 days, I didn't feel the desperate need to chug the whole pie down my throat like it was the last Sweet Potato pie end the universe!:p Also, to balance by calories in/calories out and also for my mental psyche...the next day (today), I ate approx 300 below my normal - about 1200 cals., and will run a couple of miles...

Even if you go totally perserk one day...you must realize that you won't gain FAT overnight....you may gain water weight (from high sodium), but will quickly lose it. Hope this helps.:)

Thanks everyone for the support. I really appreciate it. I kept visiting this thread all day. :) I was really in a dark place this morning. TapasLover, you are so right, the "day after" really is the worst. But I kept on plan all day and even ate less calories than I usually do to help make up for what I did yesterday. I realized that I "relapsed" but I'm not letting that one bad night make the best of me. Only I am in control of this body - food does not control me.
Thanks again everyone for offering support, it's so great to know that someone out there can relate and is rooting for me when I barely can. :hug:

late to the party
 

Sorry i am late to the party. For whatever reason, in the past, whenever i would try to lose weight, i could never get past 237 pounds. i have no idea why this was my magic number, but it was. This time i decided i would. No matter how slow or disturbing. No matter what i ate, i would get on plan immediately. i have a book that says if you screw up, write down what you will eat for the next 24 hours & stick to it. so that's what i did. And now here i am! i have broken past 237.

It sounds like your "week" is like my 237. it has more psychological meaning than anything else! i am not sure why we sabotage ourselves around certain timeframes and weights, but it seems to happen to most of us at some point.

:hug:
-fm

Don't feel bad, chubbyhippie. We all slip once in a while. What's important is that you had the courage to recognize your mistake and the strength to come back again. We're here for you!

hugs to you hun...

i find that what helps me get back on track is to read some of the success stories on here, and see that women like myself have overcome their habits- it helps me pick myself up after a binge and motivate me to stay on plan :)

we are here for each other <3

tapaslover- its so true! the day after binge is the worst feeling because not only do you have to face the binge but the scale going up really messes with your head.
Chubbyhippie - I so know what you mean. I ate so much cake yesterday ,I actually felt dizzy from the sugar! then ate more, followed by salty food to balance the sweetness. Then this morning I woke up to a 'sugar hangover" which is pretty much like a normal hangover, stepped on the scale and for a moment, i honestly felt i was going to throw up from remorse. Also my face was puffy and I felt so damn unattractive. And all day felt like cr*p. But as tapaslover said, i went back on the plan, drank lots of water and ate a bit less than my allocated calories.

I hope the scale reflect it today, but we've all been there and all done that and I guess just have to treat it as not being the end of the world and moving on. hugs to you xx

I am addicted to junk food as well... Cheetos in particular. When I do eat junk food, I make up for the calories by exercising more (like add 1 hour of jogging). This removes some of the guilty feeling and the workout makes me feel better.

But I have no answer for getting rid of the addiction. I rarely eat junk food now but only because I am so focused on my goals. I've been really good.. I even have junk food in my office drawer *now* but they've been there untouched for a couple of months because I am so desperate to crossover to the 140's. I guess you have to want your weight loss goals pretty bad to get rid of old habits...