[cherylmn]

I feel sick - just finished eating gobs of JUNK. Home alone, tired, stressed, etc...nothing new. But why now? Why today?

How do we regain control? Share your motivation. Any secrets? I am 10.5 months into my new healthy lifestyle, and tonight just reminded me that I am nowhere NEAR out of the woods. I may have healthy weight under control today, but it could be gone in an instant.

I do NOT want to do this to myself anymore. It makes me feel horrible. Physically and emotionally disgusting. It isn't daily or weekly, but I feel the lack of control sitting right on my shoulder.

So, how do we put it behind us forever? Or is it unrealistic & should the goal be to reduce frequency & amount?

Thanks for sharing. I feel like such an idiot. What a senseless act that feels like it unraveled so much hard work.

[katy trail]

first stop the neg self talk. guilt keeps the cycle going. stop guilt. stop the cycle in its tracks.

learn pos self talk. gradually learn self love.
for alot of us, it will always be a problem. but we can learn and be healthy.

you know the triggers. make a plan. change your habit during your trigger.

i stay out of the kitchen alot. get food that is safe to munch on. i eat carrots often. whole. it's already portion controlled lol.

find what works. work it. be accountable to other people. count the days. get off track, start over at 1.

[i76]

I get exactly what you are saying....I have just blown out (again!) You know I don't want to start over at day 1, I just want it to be day 1000+ and these binges to be a dim and distant memory. I think they will be soon.

[ToriJ]

Well I still have not been able to get past my BED. It is a part of me and I just have to keep it under control. Last night I slipped for the first time in about 4 weeks or so, but quickly snapped myself out of it before too much damage was done. I still feel horrible about it, but today is a new day and I am focused.

Try to stay alert and not put yourself in a position to binge. Don't buy the junk if you know you will binge on it. Get a hobby...go for a walk, read a book, etc. Keep yourself occupied out of the kitchen/pantry. We all have our slip ups, but you have to pick yourself back up and refocus. It truly is something you will have to make an honest effort at controling. It's not always easy, but make yourself accountable. : HUGS :

[coad786]

I don't know how to do it to be honest.

What I did today though was I ate two cups of cauliflower and nearly beat myself up for allowing my trigger to get triggered. I went walking in the mall early this morning with the kids in the stroller and didn't eat breakfast before leaving the house. As soon as I dropped the preschooler off, we went. I fed everyone but me before leaving. I have to start taking care of myself too. That's number 1. After three kids I am just now realizing I have to take care of me and make me happy too. I am also important. I also live and breathe and have a heart with feelings. This is number 2.

I came home ate my planned breakfast and didn't feel satisfied - more like desired to eat everything including the house. My eyes were frantically scanning the cabinets trying to fight the desire to open everything inside and eat it. I swear it was this bad. I talked to myself and kept repeating that I have choices. Let's just take it one step at a time. Instead of making bad eating choices, grab the cauliflower, wash, and measure so I know how much I'm going to eat. It's crunchy, slightly sweet, slightly spicy, slightly neutral too. I can try to breath through the eating. The cauliflower was my safety net to have as a planned backup for emergencies.

So yes, it was really hard. But I am really going to try and I am going to come on this board and read read read from all of your posts til I can get through some of this.

I can't tell you what to do. But this is how I got through today's urge and all of my bartering and justifications. What I wouldn't give to just be normal like others and not be so freaking consumed with food and moderating it. But it is what it is right now so it's better to try to talk ourselves out of it.

And then after I got through it, I watched Dancing with the Stars while using my elliptical machines. I want to look like them. They are fit and strong. This morning's walk was for my spirit and I also let the kids play in the playground in the mall. It was good bonding time between us. We obviously were the only ones there at that hour lol but we just played between rounds.

One day at a time. Sometimes one hour / minute at a time.

[cherylmn]

Originally Posted by coad786

I came home ate my planned breakfast and didn't feel satisfied - more like desired to eat everything including the house. My eyes were frantically scanning the cabinets trying to fight the desire to open everything inside and eat it. I swear it was this bad.

I get this - but WHAT is it that we are trying to satiate? I was NOT hungry. In fact, I was uncomfortably full to begin with. So why the frantic scan of everything edible in the house looking for just the right thing. For me, it wasn't a matter of wanting everything, it was wanting SUGAR. What up with that? I tried crackers - yes, not a great choice, but I thought the carb fix would calm the monster. I measured/counted and took the hit at eating 200 calories over my maintenance amount.

I even left my kids sugar cookies in the garage so that they wouldn't be in front of my face in an attempt to avoid the situation.

I combed the fridge & pantry until I came up with the sweetest concoction I could find. It didn't even taste GOOD!! But I ate it...and then had more.

Really, this is not how "normal people" act. I the proceded to oversleep my alarm, and got so annoyed at my 4 year old while trying to jog (treadmill) this morning that I thew in the towel and was a raving lunatic all morning long.

I'm exhausted. I'm weak. I'm annoyed with myself. So, I called in an emergency appointment with my psych this afternoon. I've only seen her 2x, but this felt so out of control. Like the beginning of the end. And it isn't gone today.

I know someone out there feels like I do. I cannot be alone. So if you are reading this & relating, I wish you positivity today. I wish you to find value in yourself. Not because of anything you DO, but just because YOU ARE.

Thanks for reading. I am so spent I cannot even explain it. Wish me luck this afternoon - maybe I'll learn something to help control my crazies.

[coad786]

You sound like such a sweet, caring person. You're not crazy. You're struggling. I had my day the other day when I first wrote in. I am going to try to float this boat. So that is what you're also doing..and you're pulling in your resources. This is really very healthy. The binging not so much but the getting help means that you're trying to work your way out of it..huge hugs and thumbs up for this part.

So when I get hungry, I get shaky and eat everything really, really fast. Mostly starting with sugary, starchy things. Then that triggers the further binges. And when my glucose is unstable, it creates a vicious cycle. Could this be what happens to you?

My triggers are mostly lower glucose, going too long without eating and eating unbalanced. This is why the South Beach Diet and Atkins ..any lower carb/lower glycemic index kind of diet is good for me as it keeps my blood sugars stable and helps me to avoid my trigger foods..

Then I just have my own lack of control in portions and the actual desire to eat and the taste of food. It's the biggest struggle of my life.


I hope your appointment goes well. I hope you find something to boost you up and you make yourself KNOW that you can do this, not just believe..but know it like a spinal reflex.

[coad786]

Hi there... I am just checking in on you. How's everything? Are you doing alright?