Please help me, I've completely spun out of control!
These have been the worst two weeks I've had in my nine months of weight loss. Last week was the week that my Uncle died last year. I started losing control there, I just felt sad and so I ate a lot. And kept eating for three days. I know that the feelings I felt when he died triggered that binge. I got on track for four days until Friday and then I snapped again. I ate so much on Friday I thought my stomach was going to literally explode. I started school and it's been stressed me out. I know that might sound ridiculous but school is different for everyone and stress is different for everyone. I just started eating and couldn't stop....and even today when I got up I binged. I feel so out on control never before have I done this except for before I tried to lose weight. I've eaten so much in these past two weeks. I've calculated the numbers and if I'm right (which I should be) it's about a 3-5 pound gain and I know that's not the worst out there but I feel like such a loser, a failure, for having done all this work and then gaining some back. I'm just really angry and sad and everything.
I am sorry you are hurting and know of your pain.I am brand new here so don't have much advice to hand out... last night I did read some reallyInspiring Quotes in the thread under that heading in the top of this section........Though I must say I am a little disappointed that people on this...thread area {Chicks in Control} are not a little more supportive I noticed alot of people ave read your heartfelt hurt and not commented. I am sorry. I wish I knew more since I just have figured out it is what I do to my self lose and regain from closet binging !
Deva, don't be disappointed because of peoples' action (or non-action). Sometimes people just don't know what to say, or they are lurkers and don't post, or for whatever reason are too busy or mired in their own situation and can't be supportive at that moment. It doesn't necessarily mean that they don't care. For instance, I can't really relate to binging behavior, so I feel it would be irresponsible of me to make a comment to Bunny that might serve to make her feel worse instead of better. I just kind of tend to generally over-indulge instead of binging. I've noticed that many people post mainly on weekdays; I assume that, like me, their weekends are busy and full with all kinds of other things.
So Bunny, please know that many people who have read your post CAN relate and will come along soon (probably after the busy weekend is over) and will be able to offer you substantial, meaningful support. In the meanwhile, know that there are lots of people reading your post and thinking sympathetic, supportive thoughts even though they might not be responding right away.
I'm sorry I can't offer any useful advice, but I can totally relate. About 3 weeks ago I binged and gained about 4 pounds. It was so upsetting, but I have the tools to lose that weight now, and I did. I know that wasn't my last time binging, for the moment it's just out of my control, but what I choose to do afterward is in my control. I just know I can't go back to weighing over 200 lbs, I was just so unhappy.
I'm sorry you are feeling badly right now. The anniversary of your uncle's passing is traumatic enough, and adding the pressures and stress of school can make it worse.
You have come very far in 9 months - you should be proud. And you are not perfect - no one is. I understand your frustration and that you felt out of control. I think you knowing what you did and why you did it is great - you're not trying to hide it. As soon as you can, you need to forgive yourself, hug yourself, and move on. Easy to say, I know. But it's important to getting back on track.
bunny ... i am so glad you posted here... that is a huge step - admitting what you have done and feeling accountable to yourself and others.
i binge for similar reasons to you (it seems)... i tend to binge to ignore or bury difficult emotions (like the day i kicked out my husband, or the day my grandfather died, or the day of my divorce etc). so i have a new plan - i am celebrating those painful days by planning something "just for me". for example, on sept 30 it would have been my 10th anniversary if my ex husband hadnt cheated on me and i hadnt kicked him out. so i know i will be sad and emotional. so instead of ignoring those emotions, i am going ziplining...i am terrified of heights and i am going to do this to prove to myself that i can, that i am strong and that i dont need him or anyone else! i have several other 'dates' in my life that trigger binges and i am working on finding things from my 'life to do list' that are meaningful for those dates.
3-5 lbs is not "bad" at all. i know it doesnt feel 'good'. i have had binges that resulted in 15 lbs in 3 days... (a lot of water retention but still... ouch!) so i totally understand how you felt physically...
why not join our "binge free challenge" thread and get inspiration from the ladies?!?!
so glad you shared with us... i hope you have had a stronger couple of days...
Thank you everyone I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner, I haven't been on lately. It's okay Deva, I will take a look at those. I guess I can join the thread, it wouldn't hurt. Things are easier when people are in it with you. I like your ideas too, happy.
try to remember the positive... you are more than 1/2 way to your goal weight and sooooo few people in life can say they've lost 78lbs!!!! try to be proud of yourself at least once every day for something!
I too am really glad you posted here. I'm glad you put it out there for you and the world to see!
I am sorry that you are going thru this rough time but take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in this.
I am a binge eater too. And I totally agree with what Mom said!!! You should join us in our Weekly Binge thread. It feels great to say that you've made it through the day without binging. Link - http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chic...9-19-10-a.html
I think you would really like it. The gang over there is FULL of support! They are a great bunch! Hope to see you there!!
Bunny! Don't give up. We all have setbacks, and revert back to old habits. Just pick yourself up, and look forward. Look at how far you have come, and get back on track. You can do it!
Sorry to hear about your loss. Think of how much life you still have left and how you want to live it. Hugz!
I feel your pain, my uncle passed away 2 years ago and I still think about him almost everyday. I also go to school, so I totally know how stress can take over,****, just being in your 20's is a difficult time. Last night I was eating bagels with honey and butter at MIDNIGHT and I was thinking to myself "What am I doing? What am I doing?"
Don't beat yourself up (easy to say I know) just be kind to yourself and your body and remember that tomorrow is a brand new day.
Thank you =]. I didn't realize anybody else had posted. I have to admit I binged again today and yesterday-I seriously have a problem. It's never been like this. I'm seriously...at a loss for what to do. Everytime I try and 'start over' again I keep reverting back and I don't know why. Food has always, always been an issue. Ever since I was a little girl. I thought I could make this not cutting out everything for good but now it looks like I can't. I feel so much pressure now not to **** up my weight because people are watching now, they're waiting until I get to my goal and I don't want to end up gaining all the weight back but at the same time if I binge-I will.
Hi Bunny! Just ran across this thread...I really feel for you! I honestly wish I could just give you a big hug! You're so young and it's so hard to not focus on what others are thinking or that they're watching our progress (Heck, I'm not that young anymore and I still struggle with that!) but I've found that the more I focus on what others are seeing in me, the more pressure I feel, and the worse I feel when I "mess up". And the worse I feel about that, the more I eat. Be kind to yourself. Know that you are a beautiful lady RIGHT NOW. Try not to be concerned with the thoughts of others around you, but love yourself as you are and take care of your spirit as well as your body. All easier said than done, I know. I'll be thinking of you today...
~Jenny
BUNNY ~ honey, you are awesome -- you have lost over 70 lbs and that is fabulous! Right now, you are experiencing some very normal emotions: sadness and grief over losing someone you loved very much. I don't know what you believe, but he is OK; he is not suffering and he is at peace. You know, you can pray or talk to him or GOD about how you feel right now.
I really like the idea HAPPY had for you. How about doing something that celebrates your uncle and his life; something about him that doesn't involve food. You know, it is OK to feel sad; it is OK to miss him. Talk to him and tell him so ... It's OK to feel the feelings, instead of eating them. JOURNAL YOUR THOUGHTS about your uncle and how you feel. That really helps a lot.
Try to keep yourself busy; and in time, you will start to heal and feel better. To counteract this time, go for a walk every day after work/school or after your dinner. Remember, to love yourself each day; do something nice for yourself. Pamper yourself tonight: maybe a nice, long bath and put some lovely oil on afterward -- that is so nice and soothing ... maybe make a list of loving things you can do for yourself over the next while too.
Just take one day at a time, and you will slowly start to feel better and eat healthier again. Have you ever considered grief counseling? You may find that very rewarding and helpful too ...
Hi, just wanted to chime in, because I'm where you are, too. I've come a long way, and I feel myself slowly sliding back into the muck that was my fat. I'm sick to my stomach...literally, because I'm confusing the poor thing with strict diet and then out of control binging. I feel miserable and depressed about the situation I've put myself in. I've started journaling to express these feelings and I read back to remind myself what this is doing to me. At some point, I know I must stop and take control of myself. I can't keep causing my own misery, that's pure insanity! I'll do this and so will you. Come online for support, but also journal and support yourself...become your own biggest fan. Good luck and God's blessings to us both and all the other binge eaters struggling with this pain.
Please help me, I've completely spun out of control!
in the world!
