Frustrated! :(
 

I've been binging about once a week, and I see a perfect pattern.

I stick to a very strict diet most of the time, and I find comfort in it. I keep track of how many calories I eat, I eat a variety of fruits, veggies, whole grains, lean protein. I really like eating like that, I feel great physically and emotionally.

So then come the times when I cannot eat like this. I originally said, "Occasionally, it's OK to have a day where you don't follow this." I'm realizing now that these days are usually once a week. Not being able to know how many calories I'm eating that day drives me nuts, even if I'm making the healthiest choices possible. This leads to a binge. If I can't have complete control, I lose all control. I hate it. I wish I could really control every aspect of my diet, but I'm starting to realize that it's not always possible. I get very anxious when I'm on a trip/in any kind of situation where I don't know what or when we're eating.

Have any of you dealt with this? I'm not really open to being more flexible with my typical diet (for example, eating more junk food more often so that I'm not so tempted by it in situations where it's an option, etc.) I feel like the only option is to always bring my own meals to every event so that I maintain control and don't feel like binging, but this would be very awkward and probably unnecessary. I bet there's another way!

I binged so, so, so bad last night. I'd say it's one of my worst ever. I'm trying to move past it - I just need this day to be great and then I'll feel back on track.

I hear ya sister!!!

Good for you for seeing a pattern. That's a great first step. Now maybe think about planning your "binge". Sounds odd... but maybe say, I can have a cup of ice cream, two cookies, a soda. Then plan an activity to go out and do so your not at home looking through the fridge or in line at the fast food place... when your out have ideas in your head about what you will allow yourself... like, salad only. or diet soda not water. or half portions, not whole... planning is key but then:

One thing that has HELPED ME A TON is the phrase "I am forgivable" I use it when I get on this perfection freak out and go crazy.... eating, cleaning, trying to catch up with undone things on my to-do list.... it works great. I calm down, I become more aware of what Im doing...

Hope this helps! You are doing great =) 120 is getting closer and closer!

I deal with that ALL the time. I get anxious thinking about going out with friends or going to lunch with co-workers. I know that eventually I'll have to relax and be more flexible, but its hard. I can totally relate to the "all or nothing" mentality. I Know it all too well.

That being said, you have done awesome so far. As Veil said, forgive and move on. Thats all we can ever do :)

It is good to notice patterns.

For me, I find more comfort in sticking to the same foods or okay foods most of the time. My problem is that once I start eating unhealthy foods, maybe just something small on one day, then it turns into 2, and then I am back to eating unhealthy most of the time. I have got to stick to eating healthy more than 90% of the time to stay focused and on track.

I have the all or nothing mentality too. In various binge eating books I have read, they talk about eating your forbidden foods in moderation, mindfully, and in a controlled environment.

I don't feel like I am at that stage yet but it's definitely something I strive for: to indulge in dessert or junk food with friends and then not going home to proceed binging in private.

I like the idea of constantly reminding ourselves that we are not perfect and that one little slip doesn't mean we have relapsed. To get back on the wagon as quickly as possible.

I did that for way too many years.....being inflexible and thinking in terms of all or nothing at all. It ruined the diets I was on and kept me locked in a binge and diet cycle for more years than I care to admit to.

I see being disciplined as being the most important aspect of my current diet. But being disciplined is different than being inflexible. I don't allow cheat days or bingeing....I allow a fluctuation in my calories to accommodate situations like holidays, restaurants and family gatherings. I find that carefully monitoring the calorie average is more important than any particular day's calories. So my monthly calorie average is what I gauge as a success, if my weightloss for the month reflects in that average.

You actually ALWAYS have the power to control what you eat, even in places and situations that have been problems in the past. It's not about the food, it is about how you perceive it. For me, there are many days of the week I can comfortably eat pretty low in my calorie range. There are days, no matter how carefully I plan, the food is higher. There are situations that I want to enjoy a drink with my friends. It is up to me to decide whether I want to prolong weight loss in order to enjoy something high calorie now and then, or to keep a tight ship to get there as quickly as possible. I am finding that I can have both if I am fully aware of the choices along the way and that I count every calorie, no matter how small or how large they are and accept the consequences without considering it a blow to my diet.

I tend to be long winded, so I guess what I am trying to say is that my discipline is in counting calories every day, no matter what, but my flexibility is in accepting that some days are higher than others, but in the end, my average come out right on target. Whew. That's working for me.

Thanks everyone! I really appreciate your support and love! It's a relief to know that I'm not crazy and that being uber-controlling is something other people struggle with, too.

When I think about it, I don't have forbidden foods that I really want to eat. I cut out things like snack cakes, candy bars, etc. because they honestly just don't taste good to me anymore. I don't know if it's the HFCS or soy or what, but I'm always disappointed. But I do love ice cream (especially now!) and that's something I'm learning how to enjoy in moderation. I beat myself up when I eat something that's not "good for you", as in, it has no nutritional value. I'm trying to accept that there are some foods that are really just good for your soul or something, lol, not everything I eat has to be a superfood.

The idea about counting long-term calories really intrigued me. I get upset when I don't eat exactly how many calories I was supposed to in one day. If I have some left over, I want to eat just for the sake of eating. I think I'm going to have an average of 1500 cals a day, aiming for ~10,000 a week (I run/exercise a lot, so 1500 cals gives me enough energy but still keeps me losing). That way, if I do slip up and eat, say, 2500 cals in one day, I can think about spreading the extra cals over several days, not trying to go for the gold the next day (which also leads to binging!).

And finally, I like the "I'm forgiveable" mantra. I really need to learn that a goal is a target, and not hitting the bullseye doesn't mean failure... Just working toward a goal got me closer than not having a goal at all.

Thanks everyone! Anymore thoughts are appreciated! =)

Lizzie, you sound like you are on a sensible track.

I have the same issues as the above posters so I have learned to forgive myself. For me, I have also tried to do things that make me happy. I binge less when I don't feel trapped and frustrated in my life.

I do a lot of binge prevention, which has helped. It is impossible for me to keep snack foods in the house. And I have to watch fats, too. I know this sounds gross but I will eat butter or olive oil alone if I am in the mood to binge.

I appreciate these threads about binge eating. It helps me keep on track.