Damn, damn, DAMN!!
 

So I did great things today! I ate 1 cup of Kashi for breakfast, a 1/2 cup raspberries and 1 individual portion size cup of yogourt for snack, a salad for lunch and a veggy omlet for dinner....THEN i walked 45 minutes with my dog and headed home to watch a movie while doing situps on my pilates ball and some resistance training when it happened....I ate not one but TWO chocolate bars and then two suzie's flatbread crackers with sharp cheddar. I then immediately chugged a glass of water and made myself throw up as much as possible. I knew before unwrapping the chocolate bar just how bad it would make me feel but my stomach said shut up conscience and eat the damned things. Now I'm like sitting here staring at myself in the mirror pinching my fat saying omg omg omg i'm gonna balloon right back to the way I was before. This is not a good end to such a healthy day. Tell me this isn't gonna send me pounds and pounds back. :(

This isnt gonna send you pounds and pounds back, but i know this feeling. Girlfriend you puked?! Are you okay? Just chill out a little and know that tomorrow you can start again.

If you keep throwing up your food you won't regain the weight you've lost, but you will make yourself SICK, you'll feel terrible and you'll damage your teeth (the acid in your vomit eats away at your teeth).

Two chocolate bars in one day won't undo all your hard work and weight loss...unless you do it every day! You got lots of exercise, you ate well for the rest of the day. Why beat yourself up over two chocolate bars? You could have undone them over the next few days with good eating and exercise WITHOUT vomiting!

Did you have protein in your salad? Maybe you were hungry!

You need to be nicer to yourself! Your worth is not measured in your weight, or how much you've lost or in the food that you eat (or don't eat). Give yourself a pat on the back for the great job you've already done with your weight loss. Tomorrow is another day.

I would be LESS concerned about the extra calories and MORE concerned about the self-induced vomiting.Just a thought.

Oh yeah I did. I get that angry at myself that I purge. It's not healthy I know and that's why I'm so sticky about counting my calories because if I even go slightly over I have to fight the urge everyday. I used to make myself purge 5 to 10 times a day until my finace found out and flipped his lid as he was terrified it would end up killing me someday. Today that urge kicked my ***. Back on this damn bandwagon...I appreciate the support I get on here..it's truly the only support I get and it's nice to have complete strangers encouraging and helping me. thanks guys!

I would strongly encourage you to talk to your doctor or another health professional about your impulse to throw up after eating off-plan foods. Eating disorders aren't just emotionally tumultuous, but also really, really destructive to your body.

Please bring this up with your doctor.

It's going to be okay, a cheal. I'm glad that you aren't purging 5 times a day anymore. That's good progress. And you were brave enough to post this here. You obviously have some discipline or else you would have kept it to yourself. Try to feel in control again. Tomorrow is going to be better.

I have talked to my doctor about it and you know what he said? He told me I'm not classified as having an eating disorder because I don't purge numerous times a day. Once a day or after I indulge too much isn't enough to get me into any form of treatment. Silly isn't it? I guess tomorrow's a new day?? Maybe I can just forget this whole indulgence incident never happened and jump right back on the wagon. I've already made my meals for work tomorrow...a veggie omlet for breakfast, 1/2 cup raspberries, 1 single serving activia yogourt and a lettuce loaded 3 slice extra lean roast beef sandwich on rye. Sounds back on track yes? And I've removed the rest of my fiance's chocolate bars so there will be no more temptations tomorrow.

Remember to be nice to yourself...you are worth all of your effort and work!

You have at least recognized what you have done. Give yourself some credit for what you did right today and start over tomorrow :)

2 chocolate bars? That's not the end of the world. Stop being so dramatic!

If you feel like you have to "get rid" of the extra calories, do it "positively" - find out how many calories were in the chocolate and work it off. You can do this all in the same day.

Not only will you naturally feel better after the exercise, you will also have helped your muscles, heart, and circulation.

Purging will cause an immediate high, feeling of relief, followed by a depressed feeling due to problems with your blood sugar/body's equilibrium.

Once the sweetness of the chocolate hits your tongue, it sends signals to your body that it will soon be receiving something very sweet with many calories. It prepares itself.

Then, nothing comes. Your body is totally confused. Mood swings and strong hunger strikes soon thereafter.

Its really a lose/lose situation. Change your negative experience of eating too much chocolate into a positive experience- a good reason to move your butt!

Today was a much better day! No chocolate binges....Just healthy food and came in at eating around 1500 calories today. Thanks for the room to vent yesterday guys, you were right. Fall off the band wagon, chase after it and jump right back on. And btw way sorry Bonnnie for sounding so dramatic I've just got a crazy amount on my plate right now with personal family drama over my wedding and with my upcoming wedding and my fiance's work just starting up again from a 200 person lay off I'm trying not to go into panic mode and eat my way out of my wedding dress and causing myself more problems. I didn't mean for anyone to be annoyed by my post, I just figured of anyone this forum might be the place to post my stress binging.

I didn't find your post annoying at all, "dramatic" seemed like a harsh choice of words to say the least. We all have had a bad day where we have eaten something that hasn't been "on plan" and have freaked out. Like the others I don't think purging is the right thing to do and from what you have posted you agree. It will just take some time for you to adjust to more positive coping mechanisms. I would maybe talk to someone about your purging if you think it would help, maybe find a local support group for eating disorders. I applaud you though, you picked yourself back up and started again that's what is important.:hug:

I would talk to a different doctor, you sound like you have an ED to me, possibly EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). I only say that because I've struggled with eating disorders from a young age and I, like you, still feel the need to occasionally purge after a perceived "mess up" (like a bag of m&ms or some graham crackers) or restrict my calories until I'm at a ridiculous 200 a day (for example). It's not being dramatic, it's the way my mind works for whatever reason. I'm glad you've made so much progress with you disorder, and I really hope you'll look into therapy or something similar, it really helped me. In the meantime, way to get back on track! 2 chocolate bars can't ruin your day/plan/life unless you let them. You're doing great!

Brendansmum - you are right, "dramatic" was a harsh choice of words .... what I really meant was - what you did is easily fixable. Your post was certainly not annoying!

No worries Bonnnie, no offence taken. I just didn't want to come across as someone who really didn't hae a problem but was just looking for attention. It is really not that way, I do have a sever problem with purging and it takes me more will power to not purge up the bad foods I eat the more weight I seem to lose. I'm going to be seeing another dr this week as it's just getting a little out of control. If I don't overeat and purge I'm so paranoid I'm going to overeat that I cut back severely on my calories. I'm trying to eat 1400 calories per day although I've been told I need at an extreme weight loss point to eat 1700 calories. To be totally honest with you I have no idea how many calories to even eat...all the calculators I try vary drastically. If anyone would be willing to help me on that I would greatly appreciate it!

Purging is not recommended as a diet tool ,.I agree that you must see a qualified doctor about this. Take mandalinns advice .

If your doctor won't classify you as having an eating disorder, find one who will.

I really hate it when doctors are so dismissive like that.

"I really hate it when doctors are so dismissive like that."

I agree. I've read many journals of young ladies with eating disorders on another site and many run into this problem.....not meeting a certain weight criteria in order to qualify. And you'd think anyone with half a brain would realize that making yourself vomit is a problem...no matter what you weigh.
However, being in the medical profession does not automatically guarantee that you have common-sense. I worked in the field and can assure you of that.

Bulimic behavior can cause all sorts of other health issues even if one's weight is normal...or even too high....including, erosion of tooth enamel, losing of critical nutrients and electrolytes, esophageal erosion, etc. To make you have to meet some sort of underweight criteria is unfair, IMO.....and even not medically sound.

deena :)

I understand that. I used to purge maybe 3-4 times a week, just when I had a binge, but it wasn't doing me any favors. I haven't done it in about a month now, and that was the first time in a few. Just keep at it, and maybe develop another habit to help with the "guilt." I suggest adding an extra 1/2 mile per week to your walking/running per 250 cal. of binging. If you make yourself try to stick with it, you will soon realize it is just better to eat a little less, lol.

Also, keep lots of pre-cut (cut them yourself for less $$) veggies and fruit in the fridge, so you can binge on something good for you. Two whole pieces of fruit, a couple of carrots and celery sticks with a tiny bit of PB and honey, and a cup of 1% milk will leave you very full for less than 500 cal. The bonus is you will find yourself losing weight faster because you are getting better nutrition. Oh, and keep ALL of your favorite binge foods out of the house. If you have to go buy them to have your binge, you may think twice (And if you are out of money, it will be impossible!).

Me ex-best friend had a bout of anorexia, hadn't eaten more than 200 cal a day for a couple of weeks, but couldn't get back in therapy because her BMI was over 18. It's crazy, she was trying to make sure she DIDN'T get back to that point, but they were saying she couldn't get help until she was!

Further more, I would recommend getting AT LEAST 1600 a day, ESP if you are getting lots of exercise, or suffer from any insulin issues. Personally, I will binge in the middle of the night if I don't eat 1800, with around 150 of that right before bed, against all advice to the contrary.

i just have to say... i logged on to 3fc to post something similar as i just ate almost an entire can of whipped cream... and i dont mean the fat free stuff. it has pushed my caloric intake far over the line it was supposed to be below. GRRRRRRRR WHHHYYYYYY!!! i havent binged in a while but this one just made me feel horrible :(

Ohh, *winces* I have done that many times! Have you ever bought cream for a recipe, and found yourself drinking it? THAT'S the worst! I refuse to buy it anymore, and only use artificial creamer for my coffee, so I won't have that urge.

Even as I am posting this, I am eating with a spoon the rest of the frosting from Kadoka's cake. 75 calories and 23 carbs per tablespoon. There are only about 3 tablespoons left in it so this won't do a huge amount of damage, but WHY am I eating straight frosting out of the can? Especially when I've been sick with a major stomach flu?

Because I can't stop myself.

(PS: Kadoka is my grandson's name. He just turned one, and I made his cake.)

Sounds like I'm not the only one going through this problem then which makes me feel a lot more "normal" doing something so ab-normal. I'm trying really hard to not indulge in chocolate or goodies so I won't make myself purge. I hate it! Sometimes I feel like I've got completely no will-power and other days I look at the chocolate and say I don't even crave you. I wish it was as simple as that everyday! I do find it hard when I'm cooking dinner for my fiance and I to calculate my calories in a meal. I made vegetable stirfry (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, cabbage, onion, mushrooms) last night with .73 pounds of lean beef cubes. Was I right in estimating 600 calories for approx 1 cup of vegetables and beef? i had about 5 small cubes of beef in my stirfry.

No, you are WAY off. My stirfry, where I use shrimp instead of beef, but lots more of them, is only 466 cal. I also believe that each of my servings is about 2-3 cups.
Shrimp Stir-fry
20 shrimp 240
1 bag stir-fry mix 120
½ large onion 30
4 cloves garlic 39
1 can baby corn 50
1 can bamboo 50
1 can water chstnts 100
2 Tb soy sauce 30
½ t corn starch 12
1 Tb honey 60
1 Tb+2t oil 200
Total: 931
Total per serving: 446

Perhaps you are not eating enough? I recommend thedailyplate.com/nutrition-calories to figure out what is in your food. I did a food log for a week, and it was very enlightening. I made changes on a few of my recipes to make them low-cal, but some, like this stirfry, were even lower than I thought. Don't starve, sweetie, just count.

(Edit: I will post this in the recipes if anyone thinks I should, with instructions of course)

I'll have to substitute flour for the corn starch, and bell pepper for the baby corn, but I think I'll try that recipe myself.

Carry on--didn't mean to hijack the thread.

BTW, if you think beef has 100 cal. per cube, you REALLY need to research your calories.

Also, I looked at your prof. and seeing that you are my sister's height and only 225, sweetie, you are GORGEOUS! I would LOVE to look like you. Keep at it, but if you want to keep it off, and get the rest off without compromising your health, PLEASE do some research before you decide how much you have eaten.