Blahhhhhhhh
 

So I just opened a box I got in the mail for Christmas from my Aunt and [of course] it was full of my favorite homemade Christmas treats...

...I tried really hard not to even have one, but as usual, rationalized that it was ok to sample a few...which I did. And immediately felt guilty and despised myself for it. My first instinct after feeling guilty was to purge, something I have struggled with off and on for a few years...and also something I have been so ashamed of and am now paying the price in damage to my teeth and gums.

But I resisted and did not do it, so I guess I can be proud for that. Just when I really get in gear eating well and strictly following my Michael Thurmond diet, I stumble with not much resistance. I know this is a situation that I created for myself, but blaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, I wish it was easier...I hate feeling like this.

Love love.

Aww, don't beat yourself up too much. That was nice of your Aunt to send you a package. Maybe you can share the rest with someone else so you don't overindulge. And a few treats is okay you know;) And it will get easier, just don't give up and keep moving forward.

it is really important to NOTICE the factors at play here. The guilt association may or may not have played a part in it. . . .
Your Aunt sent some goodies which may not be on your diet schedule.
You felt guilty not accepting them or accepting them and not eating them after she put all that work and love into them for you.
You ate the cookies out of guilt.
You felt guilty eating the cookies, because you weren't true to your diet.
Now, you feel guilty for NOT wanting the treats, AND eating the treats that weren't in your diet plan.
The natural remedy to get a toxin out of your system for MOST posions is purging.
In essence you are trying to purge yourself of the feelings and fat associated with the cookies.

The better coping mechanism. Would have been to accept the goodies. Without opening them. Sometimes the mere act of opening the goodies would stimulate the need to get rid of them--some of us devour things we really want to get rid of.

Set the cookies to the side. Experience the cookies with a friend. Look what my Aunt made for me, you want some. Take some to work or another function. Save a couple for yourself.

I know it is so hard to recover from binge/purging. You should be very proud of yourself that you experienced the cookies, and did not purge. Just remember it is very hard not to turn back to our old habits....hugs to you too!