My MIL is like that, she will phrase judgemental comments as a back-handed compliment with a sweet smile, in a sweet voice, so the reaction tends to be jaw-dropping, as you try to figure out how to respond. The thing is she expects the jaw drop, but doesn't know how to respond if that's not the result.

I finally learned to treat them as "real" compliments, acting as if I am truly flattered by the insult in frenemy-compliment clothing. It knocks her off-guard because she doesn't know what to do next (because if her life depended on it, she couldn't come right out and say anything mean) so she has to decide whether to give up or try another round -and if she does, I just pretend to take it as another wonderful compliment (I don't remember her ever going for a third round).

The "Christmas" gyno thing was kind of coy. But she did poke fun at herself when she appeared on "The Dish" about that. That was kinda cool.

I think Ruby is inspiring--I love how she is trying to find what works for her.

Her voice is a bit irritating but i can get over that---I don't like that she uses her own words for sooooo many things. To the point of spelling it how she pronounces it on her facebook--or whatever else I have read of hers. (example--Frans= friends) THAT grates on my nerves...lol

Reviving this thread because I've seen a few episodes of this show on Sunday afternoons while cooking for the week.

I count myself as one of those who found Ruby's manner of speaking & acting sometimes irritatingly coy & syrupy. Even as I felt that I liked her, and wished her well, she wore on me sometimes.

But I've spent more time with her. And now that she's facing her past, and acknowledging some unpretty moments during her youth, I feel differently about her.

Seems to me that the upbeat, high-pitched, amuse-at-all-costs manner that bothered me so much is a defense mechanism on her part. She's very social; she is one of those people who need people. She started acting the opposite of how she really felt, so as not to be a drag to be around. And somehow it solidified into her habitual way of presenting herself.

And also, the disingenuous manner reminds me less of a stereotypical Southern girl than of a girl child. She is doing a baby voice much of the time. She is presenting herself like a very little girl who knows how to "be cute" & flirt with adults. (I mean flirt for attention; I definitely don't mean it in a sexual sense.) She drops into childishness, and I think it's unconscious. But if she can't remember her childhood, that means it's never ended for her; she has never really come out of it. Yes, I'm thinking it's like arrested development.

But she is also creative, and has a great sense of fun. And that's a saving grace, for me anyway.

So I think I finally "get" Ruby, and now I feel more compassion toward her. If she grates a bit, I remind myself that there's an adult woman down inside there who often finds it really hard to present herself in a mature way.

I bet she develops more of an adult voice as the series goes on, if she doesn't give up or shrink back & regress further in fear at what she's having to confront.

This current season has been showing more of her mental issues imo. I wish they'd just come out and say she was abused instead of hinting about it and dragging it out so long. I do find her friendships interesting. Seems like her friends lives revolve around her.

The last time I saw the show a few weeks ago she had regained about 60 pounds , I haven't seen the show since then. I wonder what has happened since .

Yeah, I guess a consequence of taking refuge in childishness is that you are always expecting someone to be your parent. Her friends are always having to parent her.

You also just reminded me of something more practical: I want to know if any of these people have jobs, or if they quit them or took a leave of absence to be part of Ruby's entourage on the TV network payroll. Because if it were me, sometimes I'd be like: "Ruby, sorry -- I've got to get to work."

Everyone's fat in their own way, everyone works on it & recovers from it differently -- only her way is higher-maintenance than a lot of us.

Put it this way: If Ruby wrote on the board here that she is finding it hard because she feels she doesn't "get enough support," some posts responding might sound a mite bit skeptical

Her voice is a bit irritating but i can get over that---I don't like that she uses her own words for sooooo many things. To the point of spelling it how she pronounces it on her facebook--or whatever else I have read of hers. (example--Frans= friends) THAT grates on my nerves...lol[/QUOTE]

I noticed she says "Hacky" instead of "Happy". The baby talk is really weird.