good vs. bad

  • For some reason, whenever DH is gone for a day or more, I want to EAT eat eat. This is day 3 of his 4 day camping trip (he'll return tomorrow i think). I've been doing so well... why can't i think of something other than eating?

    i was 'good' yesterday... but food was on my mind all day. the only thing that kept me from binging was: our house is full of good, healthy food; which means a 3.5 mile walk to the store for binge-worthy food ); and the thought of eating a bunch of crap after eating good stuff made me think twice, and twice more, etc.

    I've been doing so well, as in the diet/exercise changes are becoming easy and routine. BUT, the more i think about food while DH's away, the more i think about it. i was good yesterday, which boosts morale, but i'm afraid of that blurry line between 'good' and 'bad'!
  • Try to think of it as "off" and "on" instead of "good" or "bad". You are on plan now. You did not go off plan by walking to the store for binge food. Be proud of your accomplishments. Think of the thoughts of binging as temptation and that is it. You don't flog yourself for thinking another man is cute, you just thought that you did not act on it. Neither flog yourself for thinking of getting binge food.

    Are you worried about DH? If you are write in a journal your concerns. Do you want him to be back by a certain time so you can get back to your normal routine of you and him? write that down. Some aspect of his being gone is triggering you. Explore that feeling.
  • thanks, i like the idea of "off" and "on"... saying good/bad always feels, well, bad.

    you may be right about triggers with DH being away. i have a history with binging & purging in secrecy, almost 20 yrs ago when in my early 20's. i will journal this & see what crops up. being alone without structure definitely is a trigger!
  • I see. I have a similar history. I hope you are doing better!
  • I can really relate - I used to be like that as well whenever DH would go out of town. Before he'd even leave, I'd be planning out what I would secretly binge (and then purge) on. I don't know why that was - maybe the excitement of the secrecy of binging? Maybe just the change in routine and structure?

    I can't really say what changed, just that gradually I noticed that whenever DH was planning on being out of town, I still would plan for how I'd normally eat if he were in town. Best thing for me was to just keep myself busy - go out with friends, make plans to tackle a project I'd been putting off, etc. And of course, only keeping healthy foods in the house, too!
  • My husband doesn't like to spend the money to eat out. When he's gone, I eat out for nearly every meal.
  • DH came home, and I made it through the "storm" intact. I did have a few slip-ups... 3 oatmeal cookies and an enormous homemade shake. But considering, not bad under the circumstances! I did NOT binge, and it feels empowering to know if I can do it once, I can deal with it again.