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Old 07-04-2009, 06:13 AM   #31
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Oh I so I understand Ellie!!!!! So many posts here resonate with me. i find myself going 'sing it to me sister!'

I think the fact that this last little blip in the road happened so recently is what made me so discouraged for so long and kept me just messing around. The other times I'd lost weight was so long ago that it was easy to forget about them.

I feel so much calmer this past week and even with a number of people pointing out that I have gained weight in the same week that I 're-comitted' (I was going to say got my head out of my a$%) I have been looking in the mirror and actually LIKING what I see. It made me think . . . if I feel good about myself shouldnt that be more important than the way I look? Particularly when I have weighed a lot less and still felt that out of control despair. That is what I mean when I say that I want the noise in my head to stop. You know when you are spiralling how you know that you are but you cant stop and you are continually focussed on it . . . and it just goes on and on and seems to get worse the more you do to try and "fix it" and the more attempts you make at starting a new diet, an old diet, the diet that you lost a billion pounds on just last year . . . that is the stuff I am so glad has stopped.

I am really loving not stressing over what is going in my mouth. But as I said above am torn between doing it this way which keeps me calm and changing and doing something that is more akin to a diet so that I can start seeing those zippy results . . . but bloody **** I dont have the energy to go through this again. I really dont.

Oooh I just had an aha moment . . . the 'reason' why I ballooned . . . to get THAT lesson. That if it takes me 10 years to lose the rest of the weight I would like to does it actually matter if I am:

a) working out daily - I actually do enjoy it
b) eating a wide variety of fresh foods and limiting my intake of sugar and all things that make me unwell
c) allowing myself to eat anything . . . and not waiting until "I get to goal"
d) having a full life because my focus is on me and my life and not me and the size of my arse

Oooh . . . the things that click when you are "just" on the internet . . .
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Old 07-04-2009, 12:28 PM   #32
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Hi Ms Danni -- you make a super important point in your post! I think those who are successful long-term come to the conclusions that you have, and it becomes a serious CHOICE between super-zippy-fast super-restrictive diets and super-long slow weightloss through moderate changes.

ANYONE can do a very low calorie diet for a short amount of time and take the weight off. Been there, SO done that...but HOW do you live the rest of your life? What life skills with respect to managing food have you learned? Because without them, you'll bounce right back up.

AND if you focus on getting those skills, make better food choices and exercise and LIVE, it becomes agonizingly SLOW and FRUSTRATING...

AND what is super weird is that there ARE those who make radical, drastic choices about their weight loss and food intake, and get great results, but I honestly don't see much of a life there at the end of the day. Alot of my friends who are/have dieting have designate entired food groups or food types almost as a "scapegoat" for their weight issues. And spend alot of time trying to convince me that they really ARE happy, which makes me wonder if they are so HAPPY, then why the effort to convince me of such? For some of these guys, it almost becomes a religion with the intention to "convert" me to their way of thinking.
Like, when I go to a BBQ and have a small piece of dessert, because my plan allows for this, and I get the "You know that sugar is the devil and I am so much happier eating my celery sticks and you would be too if you just gave up the devil and lived like I do because I lost x lbs in y months and I don't miss the cake at ALL and I'm really, really happy about casting out the demon sugar" from one of my best friends who just lost a bunch of weight.

I have no problem with ANY path taken, but I'm personally glad that my particular path gives me flexibility to live the way I choose to live. And it seems to be working, for the most part anyways!!! And it sure would be nice NOT to be judged for my food choices and have to defend my program...

So I think your post is SO super important, and it sure makes me THINK...
MASSIVE hugs to you, Chickie!!!



Kira

Last edited by kiramira; 07-04-2009 at 12:31 PM.
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Old 07-04-2009, 05:10 PM   #33
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Kira, you said what life is there at the end of the day? when people make drastic food choices, it would add years to my younger sister life when the Dr. told her she was diabetic,, but she continued to abuse her body, by playing the insulin game, I can eat what ever I want if i adjust my insulin, she is now, past the point of gaining her health back by eating healthy, She is hospitalized, and when home cannot get out of bed. it is now just a matter of time. she is only 40 with 3 young children and will not live long enough to see them grow up The Dr.s doubt if she will live out the year, they have given her two years max.. I have been borderline diabetic, and will not take that chance, plus I have a fatty liver, due to the fact when we were young our mother fed us through the drive through you know grab a burger and fries filled up our bottles with soda., we ate, tv dinners and processed food,And I was hospitalized at age 6 for malnutrition. So my drastic food changes are a life saver to me, yes I want a life at the end of the day, If that means only eating whole grain foods and fresh fruit and vegetables I will do so to save my life and my family life. I don't drink or smoke never did.I have seen the health issues in my family to know that eating wrong leads to death.Yes I am angry I am angry at my sister, I am angry at my mother! I am angry at every person who rolls there eyes when I say I don't eat this or that, they don't know the pain and suffering I have seen. all because of sugar.!!

Kira I am not judging you, I am glad you are healthy and continue to eat in enjoyment and in moderation.
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Old 07-04-2009, 05:32 PM   #34
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I'm clearly not talking about those with disease processes. I didn't think I've have to specify that, but clearly I should have.
So here goes: I'm discussing specifically those who demonize foods and food groups for reasons other than specific medical ones. Of COURSE if one is diabetic, one has to control sugar. OF COURSE if one has Crohn's Disease, one has to modify one's diet. HONESTLY.

Those to whom I refer are those of my friends who have demonized various foods and food groups for non-medically directed reasons. I don't care WHAT they eat or choose NOT to eat, personally. I am just remarking that those that I know who have done this for weight loss reasons don't seem very happy to me. They need to convince me that they ARE happy. And they feel free to comment on my food choices with a "holier than thou" superior attitude. And their choices aren't seeming to make them happy at all! It sure isn't a path that I've chosen.

I see the damage sugar has done in my family too -- father with type II diabetes, a quadruple bypass, a failing liver, and irregular heart beat requiring blood thinners. My sister and brother are both morbidly obese, and I will be burying them in the next few years if they don't get a grip. Any heathy choice for prevention at this point is great. BUT it doesn't necessarily HAVE to involve demonizing food groups. It has more to do with lifestyle choices, IMHO. And of COURSE you need a healthy balanced diet, but there are MANY paths to health, and some of them CAN permit sweet treats from time to time.

I make no judgements about what path people choose in their lives. If you believe sugar is the devil, have at 'er. If you thing that potatoes are evil, have at 'er. It really makes no difference to me, and I even go so far as to make SURE that my BBQs and dinners with friends that I prepare ACCOMODATE these dietary choices, even when the reciprocal doesn't ever, EVER happen. (my last BBQ that I had involved cooking for a high protein low carb diet, a diabetic, a vegan, a meatitarian , a shellfish allergic person, an onion and garlic allergic person and a sugar-demonizer. A LOT of work, but fun nonetheless...) I am just commenting that those who voluntarily make these choices seem quite happy to judge my piece of apple pie and question my dedication to my food plan. But when the converse happens, you sure get an earful!!! AND, I don't have a single friend who has been able to keep the weight off when they place these restrictions on themselves for non-medical reasons...

Peace...

Kira

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Old 07-04-2009, 05:49 PM   #35
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kira, I am sorry.
I do know the holier than thou type all too well. Talk about earfuls, it seems as I want to do this privately, but when those potlucks BBq's and such arise and when anyone gets a whiff that your are on a controlled eating plan, suddenly everyone is an expert on what you should eat or dont eat. like I want to discuss my business with them, then it seems from then on there watching you asking you questions...etc. I just want to scream my weight loss is not an open forum ( except for here )for public speculation. then others join in then i feel the dissection begins, UGH!! I am taking the slow and steady route and today is my cheat day after all whats a BBQ with a small indulgence. We are having ribeye steak roasted peppers and onions and mushrooms and brown rice. all on the BBQ
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Old 07-04-2009, 07:02 PM   #36
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I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. And you have NO reason to apologize. You have a huge burden to carry and I can understand how worried you are about your family and your health.
It is completely IGNORANT of people to make a HUGE deal about what you choose to put into your body. It is not hospitable and makes you feel like you have to defend why and what you are doing, when it is nobody's business at all. A simple "no thanks" should do instead of the 1000 questions you face -- Why not? Just a bit won't hurt (yeah right!)! Just a taste! and my personal favorite - I'm just going to throw it away if you don't have it (like I'm a humam garbage can!)

I tell you, it was a struggle to accomodate everyone at the BBQ, but I tell you it can be done gracefully without making anyone feel left out. Of course, I cooked 4 separate "meals" if you will, but it was worth it because EVERYONE had a food choice on their plate and NOONE was commenting at all. Which is the goal of a great party, no?

And I'm sorry that I came across as -- ahem --testy?
I wish you nothing but health and happiness, and am sending super-big over to you...

Kira

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Old 07-04-2009, 08:10 PM   #37
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Such great posts gals! Michelle I can totally see your frustration at your sister 'pretending away' her diabetes issues. I am so sorry that she is so unwell now Just awful for you.

I am insulin resistant and have had to wake up and see that unless I change the way I eat and what goes into my mouth that I will be diabetic one day. That is the path that I am on. I freak out when I think of all the complications that come from obesity and diabetes and its a skeery skeery future.

I have made peace with the fact that I cant have sugar play a starring role in my life, nor all the carbs that we all know are not helpful.

Meanhwile, your BBQ menu sounds SO good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love mushrooms. I am still not sure where rice sits in the GI ladder . . . its not sposed to be great from what I have read unless its basmati. But I have this great recipe where you cook like a thick ratatouille (excuse spelling) - "fry" in no oil onions, garlic, carrot, zucchini (squash), eggplant, mushrooms and any other veggies - I like them quite chunky - add in canned tomato and tomato paste until its quite thick and tomatoey - serve on top of boiled/steamed brown rice with a few pumpkin seeds (pepitas) on top.

LOVE!!!!!!!

Kira - I understand the kind of people you mean too - the born again skinny*****es I call them. And I was thinking about this just last night . . . is the only way to keep off a large amount of weight to be a robot? ie. for me to track everything for the rest of my life??? Cos that makes me I have . . . one friend (online and in real life) who has kept all her weight off but she is SO disciplined. She eats basically the same food every day, all portion controlled and works out like a demon. SHE LOOKS AMAZING and healthy and being so structured and organised suits her personality to the ground and its very easy for her to maintain. But I look at her and am exhausted kwim? She is also in her late 40s and gives me hope that I can look like a rockstar one day tooooooooooooooo! And she doesnt give unsolicited advice either

I guess this is the trick eh . . . finding that BALANCE we speak of where it works for each of US but doesnt allow us to be off pretending that we can eat what we want when we want in quantities that we want.

Loveeeeeeeeeeeee the discussion on 3FC. Thank you for being here girls!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Hope everyone is having a Happy 4th!
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Old 07-13-2009, 03:03 AM   #38
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Kira, I COMPLETELY agree.

As someone who didn't understand food group restrictions or dieting for most of my life, only to (6 months ago) cut out food types to lose weight and feel better physically, I fortunately know better than to get preaching and self-righteous about food.

Quote:
but there are MANY paths to health, and some of them CAN permit sweet treats from time to time
ABSOLUTELY. The vast majority of very healthy people I've known and met eat sweets. I've found that I can't, but that's my own bad luck.
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